Take me to church.  The 17% climb to Vermont Church was breathtaking, literally.   Equally breathtaking FOSHO was the most beautiful descent in Dane County (in my humble opinion) on Forshaug Road.  It could easily be mistaken for somewhere in the south of France (minus the vineyards- but I’m a beer girl anyway).  I regret not snapping a photo of 11 Drafters at this scenic location but it was too painful to stop ascending, and too beautiful to stop descending.  I was hypoxic, gasping at any available molecule of oxygen on the ascent.  The few extra ATPs required to fetch the iPhone from my jersey pocket would have resulted in rigor.  I’m filing a formal complaint against all things Strava and this time B2 Bomber isn’t the guilty party.  Vilks showed up with a 70s mustache and as much horsepower to crush several Strava segment leader boards.   Side note: I apparently have a Strava account, but please don’t friend me or follow me, message me, or whatever the heck people do on Strava since I have accumulated zero miles- dang technology eludes me.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we all come with 70s mustaches next week in a quest for more horsepower.  There seems to be a correlation.

Steve Prefontaine

Tom Selleck Magnum PI

Jeff Vilker

Vilks hurt all of us, an equal opportunity suffering lender for quadriceps and egos alike. One Hip Wonder, who stayed in contention for the Strava victory with Vilks, seemed to escape the pain until leaving church.  He whimpered, “do you have anything absorbent?”  Sort of an odd question coming from a member of the XY chromosomal camp.  And then I noticed his nose bleeding, and the impact of the altitude at church became apparent.  Luckily, Z is not only a Bone Mender, but an expert in herbal medicine.  A few purple clover plants inserted gently and precisely in the nasal cavity and One Hip Wonder was good to go.  Best quote of the night, by far, came from One Hip Wonder after receiving his herbal remedy:  “I was going to challenge Vilks up that climb, but I’m too hypoxic due to this nose bleed.”

There was much excitement beyond church.  Rick earned his big boy Drafter handle, “Pres“,  after entering this photo from his recent trip to Mount Rushmore.

Pres wasn’t the only Drafter rushing up the mountains last week.  A shout out to K2 who continues to dominate the trail running leader board in Oregon.  I also enjoyed a trail expedition, but on a bike with my daughter, who is rushing at Iowa State next week.  I’m more concerned about dehydration due to substation loss of fluid through tears than I am hypoxia.  I have red blood cells to spare, but am in need of Kleenex (preferably with lotion).

Shout it out

An add for ISU or Kleenex?

Speaking of altitude, the Drafter photo competition climbed to another level. CM Wille got inked!  WKOW Channel 27’s Tobacco City Cousin lost the story of local glory to the Washburn County Register.  Sales at SweatVac have reached as all time high as cyclists and triathletes alike are seeking to duplicate Cookie Monster’s fashionable Drafter head band, which contributed greatly to her success (as did Coach Cindi Bannink). It is essential to keep sweat out of your eyes.  Read on further to learn what can happen to those who don’t heed the head band recommendation.

Loose Screw suffered more cerebral damage during the last yoga session in July.  During a challenging triangle pose, Loose Screw experienced an unscripted free fall maneuver, reportedly due to a stray sweat bead that temporarily blurred his vision. Loose Screw denied that the crash was related to balance or flexibility impairments.  Helmets and headbands will be required in forthcoming yoga sessions.  Perhaps his free fall pose was part of his preparation for the upcoming Leadville 100 event. Good luck and Nama stay alive.

On that note: Yoga II will be coming soon to a VFW near you after Labor Day, not in Aug as previously, prematurely and erroneously announced by me.  Sorry.  My bad.

Warning: Read the label. Confusion.  It is inevitable, but I would like to point out that some confusion is easily avoidable.  Without sharing the details, I will simply put on display two essential cycling accessories and let you draw your own conclusions as to my displeasure with packaging.

This week, we are headed to Spring Valley (I’m trying to lure B2 Bomber into a Strava challenge up Enchanted Valley with One Hip Wonder and Vilks).  There is a little northern twist from our usual route, roughly 36 miles.  There is a splendid Short Pour route that cuts off on Pine, which is roughly 27 miles.

Download PDF map here:  Spring Valley with a Northern Twist

Garmin link to Short Pour cut off on Pine

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Sweet Sixteen.  That’s how many Drafters drafted on an epic Monday night, void of rain, humidity and bugs (well, 2 outta 3 ain’t bad).  Team DeKeyser reenlisted in the Draft.  The Ivy League Ice Queen and hubby, D2, were jamming as Newbie Back Beat Bob played some tunes for all Drafters to enjoy.  That’s a first for this group.

Did you know there’s a song by Hilary Duff titled Sweet 16?  The lyrics need no modification.

Today I’m gonna ride away
And feel the sun throughout my hair
Finally free to be who I want to be
Who that is I don’t really care

‘Cause I’ve got friends who love me
Blue skies are above me
My blonde hair is everywhere

Round Two of Yoga is tentatively scheduled to start Monday Aug 14.  I need your help completing the following survey in order to gauge interest for this and an additional class. Namaste.

Yoga Survey Link

DEADLINE for jersey orders is today, Wednesday July 26.  If you have questions about sizes, length of shorts, etc, you can email Meredith or shoot me an email.

We will wrap up July with one more 40mile ride.  Day light hours will be shorter in August, and our mileage will have to follow suit.  The Vermont Church 40 miler is a segment from the Horribly Hilly Hundreds.  The Short Pour is 30 miles (yellow line).

Vermont Church Garmin Link

Note: Garmin link is slightly different than map-  JJ extended to J instead of left on Forshaug to J adds an extra 2 miles.

Draft responsibly,
BrickO

I just received intel that the bridge on Lodi-Springfield, just north of P and south of Rauls Rd, is closed. My recon mission Thur confirmed that this segment was officially closed to through traffic, but easily traversable.  Apparently, some  menacing, ridiculously out-of-season orange snow fencing has recently been placed around said bridge segment to reinforce the concept of “bridge out”.   Huh.  And so, we are on to plan B.  As posted previously, the Lodi Canning counter-clock-wise route has us heading home on Lodi-Springfield Rd.  Please divert and turn LEFT on KURT Road, LEFT on P, RIGHT/Straight on Stevenson, and then RIGHT on Hyslop.  From there, pick up your breadcrumb trail back to to the Free House.

There is no official short pour ride tonight due to leaders being on the injured reserve list or vacation.  However, you can always ride the short pour on your own!  Given the road closure, I recommend Dane out and back.

I’m so delighted to have this additional opportunity to share some race headlines from the weekend:  Chris Froome.  CM Wille.  ESPN’s coverage of the Tour de France was interrupted Saturday morning as reporters fled to northern WI to catch the action at the Shell Lake Sprint Triathlon.

CM and Momma Wille dominated the race, with CM taking first overall female and Momma Wille winning the 60-69 year-young age group.  CM is well-coached by Cindi Bannink, and well yogi’d by former two time Olympian Karen Rigsby. There was a great Drafter showing of yoga champions this morning, wrapping up our last class of this session.

We will resume Yoga on Monday Aug 14th at 6:15AM.  Look for a survey about adding an additional class!  If you’d like to join, please contact Karen at karenkraftrigsby@gmail.com

JERSEY ORDER:  deadline Wed July 26.  Go guns! Follow the link provided here: https://order.hincapiecustom.com/Brickos2

Tonight looks to be perfect riding and beer drinking weather.  The patio was open last Monday and we will be out again, so dress appropriately (dare I say no rain and a little chill in the air).

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The Hincapie Order will include sleeveless jerseys (go guns)!  The artwork won’t be up on the website until next week, but you CAN order now.  The style will be “AXIS race cut”, which is more loose fitting than Velocity race cut, but tighter than the AXIS club cut (for those of you who ordered that style in the spring).

I know that some cyclists find sleeveless jerseys a bit unorthodox (LuciO) and some bike groups prohibit them.  In 2014, a good friend of mine, Damon,  invited me to join the Heroner’s bike group.  Eager to ride with my new friends, I showed up on a Saturday morning in “guns”.  The email I received from the Director was absolutely hysterical, and really was the inspiration for the Drafter blog.  The ability to make fun of ourselves, and gently poke fun of those we treasure, is a gift.  Enjoy this gift from Jon Furlow to me, which I have saved all these years and reread on occasion for enjoyment (I will spare you my response, which was much less clever):

It was all the buzz on Saturday when a new rider to our ranks appeared sleeveless. Yes, shockingly sleeveless!  Naturally, all the gossip over our 75 mile (and about six flats) jaunt to Indianford was whether what one hopes was a simple Ironman-frenzy induced lapse in judgment was actually permitted under the By-Laws.

So the Directors retrieved the By-Laws in the cupboard next to the extra large bag of lime-flavored Doritos.  After a thorougly thumbing through the crumb-dusted pages, there it was – The Guns Rule, complete with historical references.

The By-Laws are unusually clear on the point, albeit with some exceptions and a proviso (that the Directors have decided by vote) are directly relevant in this case.

The “guns” rule (its actually a subsection) appears in Section III of the By-Laws under the Kit Directives which deals most prominently (Section III.A) with kit fit guidance which helpfully addresses the material differences between the race, sport and club cut, and contains the algorithm to calculate proper kit cut selection based on key metrics such as weekly nutella budget and average number of empty cookie cartons over a six month period in your weekly recycle.  As important, Section III.B of Kit Directives (directly principally to males) addresses the general hazards of wearing white shorts and the more specific and heightened hazards associated with donning white shorts in the rain.  See cross reference to “Porn Star.”  Both Subsections A and B also address kit overuse and the resulting transparency effect that, I think we can all agree, is a major distraction particularly for those who are just trying to follow a wheel and are instead assaulted by a disturbing view that is really quite avoidable with a the slightest modicum of self-awareness and pre-ride kit inspection.

So that brings us to Section III.C, the “guns” rule.  Some historical background.  In ancient times, the rule was more of a well-understood common law (common sense) prohibition based on a cultural imperative to resist assimilation into the emerging tri-culture tribes.  The Ancient Elders (now know as Directors) thought – did the cannibal, the badger, the pirate or the professor ever go sleeveless?  The Elders did not think so (to be fair, there was evidence of a debate over whether the professor ever went sleveless, but the Elders concluded it was irrelevant because he was French and had a floppy pony tail).  So the proper sleeve tradition held strong.  But the tri-tribes continued to multiply until one day a wayward heroner strayed from the flock and went sleeveless on a group ride because it was hot and humid and he felt compelled to wear a birthday gift from his spouse: a sleeveless jersey with a cartoon cartoon character.  Please see Cross References to “Jersey Selection – Fashion Don’t”  and “Navigating Spouse Cycling Gifts.”

This historic mistep (legally, speaking, frolic and detour) proved useful because it revealed the three pillars that form the practical foundation of the current day “guns” rule and led to the strong movement to formalize the “guns” rule in the WHHDS By-Laws.

Pillar One: No one wants to ride behind (much less glance even fleetingly at) anyone with hairy shoulders and arm pits.

Pillar Two: No one wants to be batterred by the spray of salty sweat droplets from hairy shoulders and armpits.

Pillar Three:  No one wants to grab a drink from a bottle cacked with someone’s armpit sweat.

[Variations from the Historical Text.  The prior version of this rule cited a Fourth Pillar: the corrosive effect of sweat.  But the carbon innovation led to that pillar being deleted as archaic.  The prior version also had an sleeveless exemption for women cyclists on the theory that they don’t sweat or smell; they glow.  But over time experience has proven that to be a lie of mythic proportion].

So, all in all, a pretty sound rule.

For future reference, here’s the text from the By-Laws:

Section III.C – The Guns Rule

(1) Definitions. As used herein,

(a) the term “jersey” shall mean any item of clothing designed to be worn in a way to cover any part of the torso while cycling and and with openings for a head, two arms and the waist, whether full, 3/4 or short zip.

(b) the term “sleeveless” shall mean any jersey (as herein defined), that allows a fellow rider to observe bare shoulders or armpits (shaven or not) whether or not (i) the exposure of shoulders or armpits is either by intentional or unintentional design of the jersey, (ii) accomplished by rolling-up sleeves, (iii) done for “summer tanning” purposes or (iv) accomplished by cutting off sleeves; provided however, that the definition of “sleeveless” does not apply to jersey’s rendered sleeveless through an unintended crash so long as the crashed jersey is no longer worn at subsequent herron rides. [Directors Annotation: a “sports bra” including a tri-top, would be considered “sleeveless” within this definition.]

(2) Prohibition.  Sleeveless jerseys are strictly prohibited unless otherwise permitted by these rules.  [Cross Reference: Please see further guidance relating to the prohibition of simultaneous wearing of sleeveless jerseys and arm warmers.]

(3) Exceptions.  Section III.C(1) is not applicable in the following circumstances:

(a) its over 90 degrees F and 100% humidity, and the rider is not on a sanctioned herron ride;

(b) you are riding with tri-bars and having mechanical problems, and are not on a sanctioned herron ride;

(c) you are on a bouncy breach bike, and are not on a sanctioned herron ride; or

(d) you are alone in your room with the lights off and no one is home.

The Directors have, over time, grafted an additional proviso on this rule the states that the “guns” rule can at the Directors sole discretion be temporarily suspended on a one-time only basis for riders who met the following criteria (a) the rider is on their first sanctioned Herron ride, (b) the preponderance of the evidence suggests the rider can be rehabilitated and (c) the person inviting the new ride (hereafter, the “Inviter”) had failed to review the By-Laws with the new ride in advance.

The Directors have concluded after a review of the evidence that this last proviso governs the “sleeveless” situation on Saturday.  The vote was close, 5 in favor, 4 against.

Lets see everyone on Saturday morning . . . .

The Directors

Several Drafters have requested an opportunity to order more Hincapie cycling gear, jerseys, bibs, shorts, jackets (winter is coming), vests, etc.  You can place an order for ANY item until Wednesday July 26.

I do not have samples for sizing, but can certainly help you out.  Over 25 orders were placed last time, so chances are good that I can help you find somebody with the size you need to try on.  Or, feel free to contact Hincapie Sportswear directly.  They are a great group to work with, and Meredith has provided her contact info below, along with directions for placing an order.

1. Follow the link provided here: https://order.hincapiecustom.com/Brickos2
2. If this is your first time ordering with Hincapie Sportswear, click on “Create Your Account Now.”
3. If you have ordered with us before, click the “Log On” icon in the top right corner of your screen.
4. Shop and add any items to your cart that you would like to order.
5. Once you have selected everything you would like to order, click on your cart then click “Continue.”
6. Double check to make sure that your billing address and shipping address is correct. Please note that Hincapie CANNOT ship to a PO Box and a signature WILL be required upon delivery.
7. Click “Continue” to proceed through the checkout process.

Please let us know if you have any questions.

MEREDITH NEWMAN Custom Account Manager | Hincapie Sportswear

Direct: 864-400-3061 | Main: 864-400-3040

mnewman@hincapiesports.com | http://hincapiecustom.com

NOTE ON SHORT POUR ROUTE for MONDAY: Not well thought out on my part.  If the bridge is still out on Lodi-Springfield,  the short pour path home will be unridable.  I’d suggest riding out as described, taking a LEFT on Stevenson, but then an immediate LEFT on GOEDEN, and LEFT on LAVINA, and retrace your path back on Hyslop.

Place your order responsibly (or not if you can snag a friend’s credit card),

BrickO

Is it too early for Reindeer Games?

You know Rainbow Maker, and Drone Master, and Z and Brickson,

Loose Screw, and the Tobacco City Boys, and CM Wille and B2 Bomber a blitzen

But do you recall

The most directionally impaired Drafter of all?

Hit-The-Wollaeger, a sawbones Drafter,

had a route that he crisscrossed

and if you ever saw him

you would even say he’s lost.

All of the other Drafters

used to laugh and call street names

They never let poor Wally

play in any Garmin games.

Then one sunny Monday night

Dan-yelly came to say:

“Hit-The-Wollaeger with your GPS so bright,

won’t you guide our ride tonight?”

Then all the Drafters loved him

as they shouted out with glee,

Wally the astray Drafter,

you’ll go down in history!

And so 13 thirsty Drafters finally reached their Free House destination, eventually, despite taking a circuitous route.  There were several usual suspects missing, most likely due to excessive celebration following a tremendous showing at the Door County sprint and half IM events over the weekend.  Congrats to Kilo and MegaWatt, Counselor Queen Bee, and Dan-yelly on the sprint.   Arms, Legs, Angel Gabriel, Slow Cow and NBA Cliff placed well in the Half IM.  It seems suspicious that the last two triathlons Cliff entered had the swim cancelled or shortened.  I think his new Drafter handle will be “AquaPhobe”.

If you are looking for organized rides, here are a few suggestions.  There will be plenty-o-Drafters at DLD, Tyranena and The Ride, so sign up and go green.

Dairyland Dare Registration

Tyranena Registration

The Ride Registration

The route for next week will take us through Lodi.  I am aware that there is a segment on Lodi-Springfield that is currently under construction.  Be prepared to take a detour.  If repairs aren’t made by Monday, we will turn LEFT on Kurt Road, a LEFT on P, straight onto Stevenson and home on Hyslop (red line on map).  There is a short pour 30mile route and also a shot to Dane.

Lodi Canning Garmin Link

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Congrats to the Drafters who rode the Circus Gran Fondo last Saturday.  Vilks took second place overall, a victory of the heart.  He was in the lead pack of 5, down to 4, 3, 2…. battling to the finish with a nice guy from Marshfield, who had pulled most of the 100 miles. Vilks had plenty in the tank to take the lead across the finish line, but knew in his heart that winning after Drafting isn’t really winning at all.  Besides, the other guy was training for IM Canada and had to run 10 miles after finishing the century, so wan’t remotely interested in what Vilks had left in the tank.  Mega Watt and Z  finished in the top 10 overall male category.  Mega Watt doesn’t actually show up in the results due to missing the time mat at the second rest stop, but I can attest to the fact that he didn’t cheat.  His only mishap was grabbing a banana on the wrong side of the tracks.  Billy Boy conquered 8000 feet of elevation, according to his Garmin.  Mine only reported 7000 and change, which makes me wonder if he was riding in a straight line?  That’s what happens when you ride without a Drafter jersey….  Captain Joe decided an extra hour of sleep was more important than 30 extra miles, and was content to dominate the Circus Classic.

While I was on vacation in northern WI, listening to the loons and recovering from the Circus, 7 Drafters rode on Monday night.  I have heard that the group included a newbie, yet one more addition to the Bone Menders (Drafter name TBD).  One can never have too many orthopedic surgeons in the group.  Have you seen the crashes on the Tour???   Scooter can’t bear to watch.

Tobacco City Boy and Dan-yelly enjoyed the Draft together, compliments of our new Drafter Nanny service.  I have some concerns over Baby Adley’s reaction to wearing Drafter gear.

Start em’ early

Coach Arms is one helluva competitor.  I’m not talking about hockey- I’m talking about this darn photo competition.  She traveled to Niagara Falls, under the pretense of attending a wedding, just to get this shot:

But I think K2 is in the running with this post-thesis defense photo taken at the summit of South Sister mountain, the 3rd highest peak in Oregon.  A 5000′,8 hour trek was required for this submission:

Continuing on with the spirit of Independence Day, this is the epitome of the All American Ride.  In less than 30 miles, we will repeatedly see 3 American traditions, not necessarily ones making America great, but certainly all an integral part of history: churches, taverns and baseball diamonds.   We will start with a tour of historic Ashton, which has all 3 on the same corner! From there, we will roll through Martinsville, home of St. Martin’s Catholic Church, the KEG and a ball diamond.  For those opting to take the bike path home (perhaps those under the influence of the Human Metronome), the Missouri Tavern is one of my all time favorite watering holes.  Void of an accompanying church, and a horse shoe pit as a surrogate ball diamond, it will not disappoint.

Garmin link to Churches, Taverns and Baseball Diamonds

NOTE: I rode recon last week and today and Hwy 19 is still under construction.  I think this will work in our favor.  That is to say, the road is is GREAT shape and CLOSED to traffic.  The only potential pitfall is if they resurface the short stretch between Whippoorwill and Matz on Monday.  PLEASE DESCEND SLOWLY ON WHIPPOORWILL.  For those unfamiliar with this road, it is a STEEP descent with a hairpin turn and a stop sign at the bottom.

Good luck to all those Drafters competing in the Door Country Triathlon this weekend!

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

If you missed it the first time around, this is your chance to travel through time, literally. The Viaduct was constructed in 1881 and is the highlight of this scenic moderately hilly 30+ mile route.

Garmin link to Viaduct route

I’m sure there will be several fearless leaders who will roll forward and gallantly wave the green flag to start the Draft promptly at 5:30PM.  White flags are allowed throughout the course, and even encouraged, given that several Drafters will be coming off of the CIRCUS Gran Fondo ride in Baraboo on Saturday.  BrickO and Z will not be Drafting Monday, so please be sure you know the route. In preparation for our absence, we respectfully submit our recent SC ride photos in a feeble attempt to shake up the Drafter Photo Competition.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Although we are riding independently tomorrow, there is still an official Yoga class from 6:15-7AM at the VFW on Century Ave.  Bring a mat, $15 and a flexible attitude.

I’ve seen some Drafters out drafting independently this weekend.  Hard to miss the green flash.

Tobacco City Cousin is looking to surrender his independence and Draft full-time.  He is currently taking applications for a Cannondale Tandem lead driver.

For those looking to step up their training, here is a little blurb about what it might take to win the Tour de France.  I would guess B2 Bomber is close to 80ml/min/kg.  Too bad about the denominator being kg body weight.  I was in contention for greatness on the VO2 part until I realized that my cardiovascular system has to drag to my mass up hill.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

20 Drafters enjoyed an epic Spring Valley ride to conclude the June edition of the Draft. We had riders in the double fisted, short pour and the newly founded shot divisions.

The Bone Menders (Z, Rainbow Maker, IronMD and NBA Cliff) became a quintet with the (late) arrival of John Hit-the- Wollaeger.   Having not ridden 40 consecutive miles yet this season, Hit-the-Wolleger meandered to the starting line, where he met up with Dan-yelly. Bonded together by the forces of tardiness, they helped one other take 2 wrong turns on Turkey (yes, two wrong turns- one at each end of Turkey Rd), finishing just after dark. There’s nothing like adding a few extra feet of elevation to the hardest Drafter ride of the season to work up an appetite. Dan-yelly texted me, presumably while stopped to figure out the Turkey faux pas, to place her dinner order at Free House.  The thought of sweet potato fries fueled her to the finish.

B2 Bomber took the brunt of the wind, pulling with Captain Joe and the Human Metronome for most of the ride. While B2 was parting the air for the rest to Draft, the air in his tire was departing. Bomber is the third to join the Flat Tire Club this season. He still finished with the yellow jersey, despite the fact that none of us stopped to help him change his flat, capitalizing shamelessly on the opportunity to beat the Bomber. Mission failed.

At times, the ride felt more like a Wisconsin Wild Life Tour.  3 deer on Otto Kerl Rd joined the Draft for a few yards, before growing tired of the pace. Captain Joe is accustomed to seeing deer but was disappointed not to see a bear.

A small lap yap-yap dog on Spring Valley had Bomber, Captain Joe, Human Metronome and BrickO in a skid.  If I am going down due to canine interference, it better be a Doberman, German Shephard or some other dog weighing over 100 pounds.  Rural lap yap-yap dogs are a bit oxymoronic.

LuciO and the Power Couple, Mega and KiloWatt, created a new division, dubbed the SHOT. This 18 mile adventure wasn’t mapped out, but the crew boldly went where no Drafter has gone before. A few special treats of the evening: Nurse Sully and Counselor Queen Bee were back in Drafter action! And, CM Wille made her famous Monster Cookies to celebrate LuciO’s fellowship. CM apologized for their extra crispiness, which most likely was due to the extra dose of radiant light reflecting off her engagement ring during the baking process.

In honor of Independence Day, we will be riding independently on Monday July 3. There is no official ride. The Free House will be closed as well, so your routine Monday night dinner venue will require an alternate route.

Drafter Responsibly,

BrickO