The 2200-2800 feet of climbing up Enchanted, Schuman, Old Settlers and Katzenbuckel (depending on GPS calibration and if you followed Tick Tock on the alternative route which added 4 miles via an unintended left turn on Breunig Road) wasn’t the craziest part of the Krazy Ride.  It was trying to keep up with KK!  This newbie is not a newbie at all, but rather an accomplished professional cyclist residing in Italy and eating Dolomites for breakfast.  KK was given a middle initial by Vilks, Bomber and Tick Tock– A.  As in KickAssK.  I was grateful to Barefooter who warned me not to attempt to keep up with her friend as she pulled away on Enchanted Valley, commandeering my ancient Kestrel, Ruby, who is not geared for such a climb. Ruby may never let me back in the saddle now that she knows what a real rider feel like! Billy Boy McC had led us out Schneider to the point of the breakaway.  You know it’s gonna be trouble when the Clydesdale sets the pace-  everybody got primed in the vortex.

For every foot of climb, there was an excuse as to why KickAssK was in the polka dot jersey.  Bomber feigned a shoe malfunction as KickAssK blew by.  Skeeter Bait hurled out this excuse, “I just finished antibiotics for a sinus infection.” I  suspect he would have traded antibiotics for EPO in a heartbeat.  Skeeter took the easy out and joined the Flat Tire club.   Booker J was the most creative and inventive in the excuse department, “If I had carbon fiber cages, I would not have been dropped.” Later in the ride, Booker J was diagnosed by Dr. Z Rex with a “positive snot sign”, and offered 3 shot bloks and a bottle of water to ease his pain.  Vilks could hardly dismount his bike due to fatigue and exclaimed, “Strava just informed me that I have a new max heart rate”.  Never one to miss an opportunity for a beer, Vilks excused himself from post-ride beverages under the pretense of attending his daughter’s boyfriend’s birthday party.  We all suspect that he was rushing for his AED and didn’t want to make a scene.  Barefooter proudly rolled in and declared, “No short cuts here”. This ride definitely separated the boys from the men, and I’ve never been so happy to have hung with the boys.  Somebody once said to me, “You have to be pretty good to know you much you really suck.”  I get it.  I liked it better when I imagined a small gap between me and KickAssK, not the Vredefort crater that appeared Monday night.

I also liked it better when Counselor Billy Boy informed me that the “return the bride policy” expired after 72 hours.  Eager to exercise my joint credit card rights at the Free House, he admitted to a misunderstanding in the policy, which apparently extends 72 days. Beers on me will have to wait until October. I managed to sneak away last week to Roatan for said wedding adventure without missing a Draft (this is not a discussion about priorities- at least not until I sort out the “return the bride” policy).

“Mom, I forgot the ring”

Mr. Z and Mrs. BrickO

Jump!

A non-dark beer toast

However, we are headed to Norway on Friday for a little fun at the Maserati Haute Route and so I will be leaving you in capable hands for the next two weeks.  

Tick Tock and Cookie Monster will be leading the Draft the next 2 weeks. As always, it is YOUR responsibility to know the route, draft responsibly, and at your own risk. We are one Drafter down due to a car hits bike incident on Woodland and Kingsley (driver was cited).  Fortunately, the only thing broken was Sandlot‘s bike.  Let’s send her some healing love  as we keep our eyes open for vehicles whose drivers don’t.

You are in the capable hands of Cookie Monster for the next 2 weeks.

Drafting in Utah- check out the footwear.

Lodi Marsh (counterclockwise route) is a 40mile venture, with an easy 5 short cut by avoiding Riddle Rd, or a 25 mile option by taking the Hyer Loop or Dane out and back. Tick Tock will most likely opt for the bike path home, which should leave all of you feeling unsatisfied and incomplete, but with more energy and time to enjoy Free House. Remember to treat our waitress, Amy, nicely (especially if you place special orders like half buffalo or a WI salad) and tip generously.

Download PDF map of Lodi Marsh: Lodi Marsh 40 and Hyer Loop 25

Garmin link to Lodi Marsh

The following week, Aug 6, you will be venturing out to Indian Lake.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HEED THIS WARNING:  the descent down Indian Trail to K is steep and THE ROAD IS IN TERRIBLE CONDITION.  I would recommend one of three strategies: 1) ride this course backwards (Dan-yelly, Whamo and Sandlot may do this unknowingly, so follow their lead), 2) descend at a snail’s pace (my choice), or 3) turn right on Whippoorwill (also a steep descent with a hairpin turn), L on 19 and R onto Matz Rd.  Decide as a group, and then make your own choice so that you feel safe and ride within your limits.

Download PDF map of Indian Lake Extended: Indian Lake Extended Cue Sheet and Map

Garmin Link to Indian Lake Extended

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Lucky 13 showed up for the Wild Wild West ride, including Newbie “Slinger“.  Jeff was promoted to the front of the Draft by his neighbors Ice Queen and Duracell, and I would agree with that allocation.  Until, that is, his high speed rear tread unintentionally slung gravel my way (Annie suffered no structural damage- Annie is my Colnago for those of you who haven’t been introduced).  That will teach me for drafting too closely.   In an unprecedented sharing of the  lead, Dan-yelly and B2 Bomber pulled hard out KP heading into the Wild Wild West.  They key phrase here is “heading into”, as their tanks were empty after competing in the grueling Door County Triathlon and their gallant pull did not last long.

Clip on aerobars are a luxury for Bomber

Does this hat make me look fast?

This could be (or just plain is) the first time I’ve ever beaten Bomber to the Free House.  Can I tell you how happy it makes me to watch this man suffer from fatigue?  His recovery meal was two Spotted Cows and half buffalo.  Confused?  So was the waitress.

Maybe it was the sliver moon and Venus hanging in the sky that inspired Drone Master on Monday night.  He relished in taking a turn at the front with Bomber and Barefooter in his slip stream.  With great power comes great responsibility, and after his pull, Drone Master responsibly fell off the back as Barefooter took the opportunity to bury the boys.  Beaten but not broken, Drone Master had the ultimate opportunity to earn the yellow jersey.  With Bomber and his blinkie light both running low on energy, Drone Master graciously offered to provide a Draft back home …. on his scooter.  Just as Bomber got on his wheel, Drone Master accelerated, leaving Bomber in the dust.  “I think I just gave Brandan the best pull ever!”  I will admit that our group could benefit from a lesson in paceline etiquette.  Our motto seems to be “rest as long as possible and when you have to pull, go as hard as you can”.  Booker J exemplified this technique beautifully on the pull home on KP.  “Where did everybody go?”

Some of our Drafters got stuck at work (a tragedy I try hard to avoid, even if it means changing jobs frequently) but still managed to Draft in spirit in their own time.

Congrats to K2 on her 7800′ summit run.  She’s moving to Canada to finish her PhD program and has invited us all to the Velodrome in London, Ontario.  What could go wrong on a banked surface on a single gear bike? I’m in.

The ride on July 23 will make you crazy.  In fact, that was the theme song we choose for our wedding in Roatan over the weekend. Speaking of which, I generously offered to buy beers for the table with my new joint credit card.  Billy Boy McC, attorney at law, was quick to cite a bylaw describing a 72 hour cancellation/invalidation policy on brides.  So, I quietly retracted, rescinded and otherwise revoked the offer until a later date.  The crazy part of the wedding wasn’t the ceremony, but the run with the kids just prior to saying “I do” up a 25% grade for 1/4 mile.  Who thought 4 minutes could leave me limping for 3 days (and sweating for several hours, which made hair and makeup a null and void proposition) ?????

We are doing the inaugural Krazy Katzenbuechel ride on Monday.  I have not done recon, so there is no GPS link.  I’m estimating 40miles, but don’t hold me to that exactly.  I could make up the elevation, but you already know that my precision with elevation is drastically underestimated even with GPS.

PDF download map: Krazy Katz Map and Cue Sheet

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

We’ve weathered some rough stretched dolled out by Mother Nature this spring and summer, but Saturday could have single handedly counterbalanced all complaints uttered this cycling season.  The Circus in Baraboo was absolutely delightful (except for the aid stations, which didn’t materialize until mile 80) and well represented by the Drafters.  Congrats to Slow Cow, Whamo, Sandlot, Booker J, Vilks and Z Rex on their finishes.  Vilks was in the winner’s circle for Circus 2017, but in 2018, he took home the gold for Best Cycling Samaritan.  With a flat at the start, unnoticed by his teammates, who assumed he was already a mile ahead, Vilks rode like a bat out of Baraboo to catch Z and BrickO at mile 65.  Despite a 20 minute delay of game due to flat repair and a missed turn which cost him 2 miles, he maintained a positive attitude and pulling force which got us home in record time.  Setting aside the slight irritation at watching him loop back to get us after climbing several hills, we were grateful for the pull AND the cooler of Nitro Left Hand Milk Stout he had waiting at the finish line.

Sandlot and Whamo at the finish

Whamo holds onto a namesake beer for Slow Cow

The humidity was back for the Monday night ride to Fish and Crystal Lakes.  This did not deter cycling enthusiasts, as we had a showing of 20 Drafters, including one Newbie.

Zika, Loose Screw, Billy Boy, Cookie Monster, Footer, Skeeter Bait

Tick Tock, Ice Queen, Sandlot, PresDuracell,

Barefooter brought a friend, “Ripper”.  The name came with the man so I can’t tell you the etiology. I know that he designs mountain bike and downhill ski courses, but that would make me think his name should be Shredder?  I can tell you that his true Drafter purpose is “Skeeter Bait“.  He lured all the mosquitos at dinner to feast on him so the rest of us could eat in peace.  More impressively, he provided a feast for Tick Tock and B2 Bomber, who ate up the challenge Skeeter Bait posed at every climb.  It was clear by the time we reached Dane that there was to be an A team and B team.  B for BrickO.  The B team was led by the Pyrenees returnees, Billy Boy McC and Loose Screw, who charged up Crystal Lake Road as if it were the Tourmalet.  I could hear Billy Boy “neighing” on his Stallion bike as though in a Budweiser commercial.

Hit-the-Wall may have had a tear in his eye as the lakes came into view, “I’ve never made it this far”, he uttered.  And he wouldn’t have made it further had his cat like reflexes not saved him from colliding with a deer who bolted across Fish Lake.  The A team experienced a similar 4 -legged endeavor as a baby cow escapee meandered down Brererton, providing a slalom course for Skeeter Bait.

Pres pulled out his AAA card and called for roadside assistance on his inaugural ride of the summer.  “What is your roadside emergency?”  – “I’m out of gas”, Pres replied.  Turns out, AAA doesn’t lend roadside assistance to cyclists who run out of gas.  Nor do they fix flats.  Welcome to the FLAT TIRE club, Booker J!

The B team stayed together until the climb out of the valley on Hornung, at which time the C team was born.  C for Cheaters- BrickO, Z Rex and Loose Screw.  Turns out this was the only subset of Drafters who opted to take the short cut home on the bike path, cutting off 3 miles and 2 hills.  I solicited each Drafter as they crossed the finish line, hoping for at least one other cheater.  There were none. Shame on the C team.

Cheaters aren’t suppose to prosper, but I sure did.  Two big surprises were waiting at the finish line. My uncle John Boy and aunt Steph had ridden to the Free House (on a Harley, but we don’t discriminate.  A cyclist is a cyclist), and I was thrilled to see them 3 miles earlier than if I had ridden the whole route.  Coach Arms brought Baby Riley and I got first baby smells and rocking privileges.  The rest of the night is a blur, as I was lost in the magic of new life.  I do recall hearing Hit-the-Wall say, “What happened to all my money?” when it came time to pay the bill, and Cookie Monster finding a stash of $1s to help him cover dinner.  There’s more there than I want to tackle in this blog.  I remember Tick Tock scolding Sully, “You wrecked the Tour de France” after she gave up the crash highlights.  Mostly, I remember feeling like the luckiest person in the world to be surrounded by my Drafter family.  It took dueling cameras at both ends of the table to capture the crew.

Next week we will head to the wild wild west for a 35 mile jaunt.  Don’t be deceived by the simplicity of the route- I promise hills, including Vermont Church and Moen Valley.

Download PDF map for wild Wild West: West HHH 35

Garmin link to wild Wild West: Wild Wild West

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Oops.  Please note my mistake on the last cue sheet (Garmin link was correct).  I inadvertently noted a short cut which would have deprived you from fully shaking the lake.

NOTE: Once we hit Crystal Lake Rd, we will not be taking the shortcut on Mussen Rd.  Instead, we will turn on Schhoppe to circumnavigate Fish Lake, and then climb our way out of the valley on Hornung.

Here’s hoping the Gran Fondo Circus 100 in Baraboo on Saturday sees some cool temperatures.  Best wishes for a safe and fun ride to all of the participants.  Slow Wandering Cow signed up for the Fond adventure.  Who knows what distance that might bring?

Draft responsibly,
BrickO

What’s a few feet? My elevation estimation for the Spring Valley ride was off by a few hundred feet. Does anyone with a math brain bigger than mine (that excludes no one) understand how my Garmin innocently reported 1700ft on my recon mission, when Tick Tock had us at 1900 before we even hit Table Bluff, and the final feet of elevation according to Z Rex’s Garmin was 2487?  Baffling.  And it really felt like 3000 given the punishing pace set by da’ boys.

Drone Master got a head start on the ride. We caught him snaking his way up Enchanted Valley (was a misnomer- better described as “Disenchanted Valley).  I heard him cry out, “Somebody sing me a song”, and Captain Joe made a gallant effort to do just that.  Unfortunately, his new Drafter Kit restricted his lung capacity.  Apparently, when checking the box to specify style, he marked “Podium Girl” instead of the “Podium” fit.  Personally, I am thinking of revamping the jersey fit options altogether.  Instead of club versus race fit (relaxed versus suffocating), I think small-medium-large should be offered  according to quadrant. For example, I would like a small jersey in my northern hemisphere where boobs allegedly reside, a medium around my arms to account for the deltoids and biceps I keep hoping will grow, and then a large around my waist where skin stretched from 2 babies hangs loosely.  Doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?

We could call this the “Restorative Jersey Line”, a phrase coined by Sully and Ice Queen when discussing the fine line between coloring and highlighting hair.  Speaking of restorative measures- I was at the cabin last weekend working hard to even out my biker tan lines.  Not that I am ashamed or embarrassed by them.  In fact, they are sort of a badge of honor.  But, I would like the Vitamin D enhancement to extend further north than my distal quadriceps.  I’m happy to report that 3 days in the lake did just that- restored my legs to one shade of brown.  However, an unanticipated and unfortunate consequence of said sunning in the lake is that I now have stripes on my face!  While drinking, talking, laughing, squinting, etc the sun failed to reach the creases, wrinkles and other fine lines that have found a home on my face.  Restoration is a work in progress, I guess.

That was definitely a tangent.  Back to the Draft report.  There was some confusion about the Northern Twist on the Spring Valley route.  Tick Tock instructed the crew, “When in doubt, turn the direction of the steepest hill.  That’s probably the right way.”  Good advice, which Slow Cow failed to heed.  Last to roll into the corral, he blamed his wrong turn on the “blinding angle of the sun”, and respectfully submits his request for me to better plan the routes according to the earth’s position.  Capitalizing on his legal training, he also petitioned for a Drafter Handle change from Slow Cow to Wandering Cow.  WC.  Doesn’t that stand for something else? Drone Master would have been the last to the table, but somehow he managed to trade his road bike in for a scooter.

Drone Master wasn’t the only one worried about being late for dinner.  Ice Queen called in her order somewhere along Schneider Road.  We all enjoyed watching her eat while we patiently awaited our vittles.  She might be the smallest of the Drafters, but this girl can hold her own with a knife and fork, or ice cream cone.

Due to popular demand, THE HINCAPIE STORE HAS BEEN RE-OPENED FOR 2018 DRAFTER JERSEYS, SHORTS, BIBS, VESTS, JACKETS and POLO SHIRTS.

1. Follow the link provided here: https://order.hincapiecustom.com/Brickos2018reorder
2. If this is your first time ordering with Hincapie Sportswear, click on “Create Your Account Now.”
3. If you have ordered with us before, click the “Log On” icon in the top right corner of your screen.
4. Shop and add any items to your cart that you would like to order.
5. Once you have selected everything you would like to order, click on your cart then click “Continue.”
6. Double check to make sure that your billing address and shipping address is correct. Please note that Hincapie CANNOT ship to a PO Box and a signature WILL be required upon delivery.
7. Click “Continue” to proceed through the checkout process.

MEREDITH NEWMAN

Custom Account Manager at Hincapie

DIRECT 864-400-3061  EMAIL mnewman@hincapiesports.com

Let’s shake the lakes on Monday.  We probably only have enough daylight to do a few more 40 milers, so let’s take advantage of the earth’s position (despite Slow Wandering Cow’s disposition about it’s position).  The route to Crystal and Fish Lakes via Dane is one of my favorites.  If Tick Tock doesn’t ride, we can take the bike path home, otherwise we will be forced to ride back on Woodland.  I’m not going to make any empty promises about the elevation.  I will say that we won’t be climbing anything near what Billy Boy McC, Loose Screw and Two Fist have been facing.

Conquering the Tourmalet

The Stallion emerges from thin air

Pick one

Two Fist in CO

Garim link Crystal and Fish via Dane

Download PDF map: Crystal and Fish Lake Via Dane Cue Sheet

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Last week was a brutal ride- over 2000 feet of climb mostly occurring during 10 of the 40 miles.  Sharing is the cornerstone of our Drafter community, and I wanted to share Moen Valley and Blue Mounds Trail, two lovely hills on the Horribly Hilly Hundreds route with our newbies, Josh and Peter.  Somebody did their homework- Josh showed up for the “Book Club Ride” with his satchel!  He actually read the blog in advance (“novel” concept- please notice the pun, cause I’m rarely clever and need you to notice the rare times when I am.  It’s a self esteem thing.  Please notice.  Thanks for your time), and came prepared with books to exchange in the community library box on Blue Mounds Trail.  When I asked Booker J how he heard about the Drafters, he quietly admitted to knowing B2 Bomber.  With that, he was instantly promoted to the front of the line to share pulling detail alongside Tick Tock. I did store his satchel in my jeep, but next week, I am going to insist that he ride with his books to slow him down a bit.  Don’t ride and read.

Peter was apparently interested in catching up on reading, since he chased Booker J up Blue Mounds Trail to the book depository.  He’s credited with testing every rumble strip on Hwy 78.  It’s good to shake things up a bit.  Welcome to the Draft, Rumble Strip.

Whamo and Sandlot thought they could avoid the hills by riding the route in reverse.  What goes up must come down, of course, so I wasn’t sure of their strategy until we saw them come down Blue Mounds Trail as we were climbing.  They got to the book depository first!  Poor Booker J didn’t missed out on this week’s top seller.

Team DeKeyser made their inaugural appearance for the Book Club. D2 Duracell decided this doozy made for an excellent first ride of the season.  He should be recovered sometime in August.  His bride, Ice Queen, had got her bike out two days before during Girls Weekend up north, and was clearly in peak condition for the Book Club.  Ya’ gotta love athletes who just do it.

The kits arrived and looked pretty sharp.  With that, a few folks have inquired about placing another order.  No problem.  As soon as I have at least 5 people interested (I have 3 so far), I will open up the Hincapie store.  Let me know if you want in. This year we have golf shirts, just for Sully, since she is spending half of her retired life swinging at those white eggs in Arizona. I do have a guns (sleeveless) women’s large jersey that I am willing to sell at a discount if anyone is interested.  I guess I overestimated my bust a bit.

Ice Queen and D2 Duracell shared a 10% stout over dinner.  After a few sips, the dynamic duo came up with some creative math to justify their beer selection. “So, if we split this beer, it’s just 5% alcohol, right?”  That calculation is exactly right, according to BrickO math rules, which is why you can have two!

Since all 18 Drafters lived to complain about the hillacious ride, we will serve up more of the same medicine next week as we venture out to the Spring Valley Loop with a Northern Twist. The Short Pour (which unfortunately hasn’t really been tapped this summer) can hang a left on Pine.

Garmin Link to Spring Valley with a Twist

PDF of map to download: Spring Valley with Northern Twist Cue Sheet

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

My sister is a professor at UIC where she teaches negotiations.  It made for an ugly childhood, as she gained practice winning every negotiation (read: argument) with me.  On the upside, I gained some skills which apparently paid off when negotiating with Mother Nature on Monday.  How did we not get wet amidst this colorful cluster??

We had seen the Doobie Brothers and Steely Dan perform at Breese Stevens Field on Saturday night (highly recommend the venue, but standing on astroturf after the HHH was a bugger) and saw promotions for the upcoming REO Speedwagon concert.  That planted the seed for this song to play in my head Monday night as we were Riding The Storm Out

Ridin’ the storm out, waitin’ for the fall out
On a low vis night on the Lodi Canning bike route
My Heed bottle’s low, watching for the pot hole
Thinkin’ about what I’ve been missin’ off the paceline
And I’m not missin’ a thing
Watchin’ the Drafters crossing the range

Ridin’ the storm out
Ridin’ the storm out
My Drafters beside me, they’re there to guide me
Stout says he’s not sure we’ll finally reach home

Newbie Stout rode the storm out.  His last name is Porter, which could be the best Drafter name EVER.  But, nobody gets to use their real name.  Welcome to the Draft, Stout.  He’s a smart guy, choosing his debut the Monday after the HHH.  Since the majority of the riders Mon night were riding rough, there was discussion of taking a short cut.  Cooler (dumber) heads prevailed like the wind and we dutifully rode to the Lodi Canning Company.  Billy Boy McC took a vigorous turn at the front.  It was a Cadillac of a ride for the rest of us until his legs gave out.  Tick Tock was a no show, so we opted to take the bike path home, as nobody wanted him to feel like he missed out on his favorite climb up Woodland.  That’s just the kind of teammates we are.  And, we were running late for happy hour.  Nurse Sully had held the table so long that other Free House patrons were offering to keep her company.  By 8PM she figured we had not only rode the storm out, but rode directly home.  Fortunately, we intersected in the parking lot and she came back to the Free House for round two.

I’ve never seen anyone double over at dinner with a calf cramp.  Billy Boy blamed it on the deviled eggs the Drone Master ordered, but the rest of the sorry HHH crew knew better.  Loose Screw, B2 Bomber and Z attributed the cramping to punishment for not wearing his Drafter jersey on Saturday.  As part of his penance, Billy Boy was asked to give a demonstration of his Drafter loyalty.  Rising to the occasion, (not literally, as he was still cramping, but acoustically) he sang this little ditty for Coach Arms, who was in labor at the time.

Drone Master wins the award for highest intellect (yes, this is the same guy who didn’t realize tire pressure isn’t a constant and requires air input from time to time).  Like the drone he flies, this guy magically shows up in Dane, and then bows out before having to climb Viaduct.  His malt to mile ratio is the highest of all the Drafters.  Brilliant.

We wish Billy Boy and Loose Screw safe travels and excellent riding in France next week with Cyclesport Travel on their Pyrenees Playground trip with the Italian Job.

Speaking of travel, the honeymooners are back from their fishing trip to O’Canada.  E$ hit the jackpot and caught a Monster.

Caught a Monster!

E$ hits the jackpot

E$ hits the jackpot

Caught a Monster!

Check you front porch- there were some special deliveries this week.  Billy Boy is trying to make amends for his attire at the HHH by being the first to wear his new Drafter jersey. I hope he’s off to another ride and not to court.  He has his game face on, for sure. “Guilty, your honor.”

Jerseys weren’t the special delivery.  That honor is reserved for Riley Grace.  Congrats to Poppa Legs and Momma Arms.  Welcome to the Draft.

I guess this would be a good time to discuss the route for Monday.  We are going to head out west and hit a few of the HHH roads, a new route for the Drafters.  I’m calling it the “Book Fair 40” as you will see a book box on Blue Mounds Trail.  I fully support all attempts at increasing literacy, although I have no idea who would think to stop and exchange a book here?  It is nice they leave a spare wheel, just in case.

I don’t have a map prepared, but I do have the Garmin link.  Fear not- it is not 50 miles as downloaded, as I did a loop twice.  It’s only 40.

Garmin link: Book Fair 40 Garmin Link

Cue sheet to download: Book Fair 40

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Mother Nature and I have been negotiating for most of the day.  My understanding of our agreement is that we can ride safely,  most likely experience one brief and hopefully non-torrential rain, and then dry off in the sunshine.   With that, the ride is ON.

There are many Drafters with tired legs from the HHHH (Hot and Horribly Hilly Hundreds).  I  will be the first to suggest a short cut, regardless of the forecast.  Congrats to Billy Boy, Loose Screw, Slow Cow, Rainbow Maker, Too Hip, Bomber and Z on conquering many vertical feet.

The barometric pressure has been dancing around all day.  Nurse Sully told us this AM at Drafter Yoga what happens when the barometric pressure changes…. let’s see if Coach Arms drops the puck.

See ya at 5:30.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

I thought I was clear on the Take Me To Church directive, but Dan-yelly apparently mistook the route for Take Me To Work.  She was not alone.  Two Fist followed her innocently, not having been clued into Dan-yelly’s directional impairment.  These two yardbirds decided the route would be more fun as a cyclocross course!  With bikes hefted over their shoulders, they traversed the construction in Cross Plains like champs.

Those two and a few other wayward Drafters went off road.  Literally.  Billy Boy, Whamo and Sandlot compared stories of crashing backyard BBQs as they meandered through the lawns of unsuspecting Cross Plaines residents.  This “inadvertent” re-routing through construction is all part of my master plan to purchase a gravel bike without guilt- think of the functionality, the necessity even?  Loose Screw showed up to ride looking like he had been rolling in the gravel- forearm bandaged and hand swollen. Clearly, his most recent bike meets immovable object collision is yet another sign that our Drafter team needs gravel bikes.  Tick Tock wasted no time making a purchase after watching Bomber lead the Draft on his gravel bike.  Welcome his new baby (photo on left below).  Speaking of baby, there was an ommission in last week’s blog. I mentioned that the Italian Job came to check on his babies, Cervelo, Colnago and Scott but I left out Parlee.  Billy Boy’s Parlee, Stallion (yes, all bikes must be named), nearly reared up and bucked me for my insensitivity. I’m including a baby photo as a way to make amends (photo on right below).

Tick Tock’s new gravel bike

The Stallion

While some of us are going gravel, others are going aero.  Congrats to Tree of Rown, an honorary Drafter, on conquering things that I’m bound by HIPAA not to share in order to finish the Wisconsin Half Ironman on Sunday.  Let’s just say the normal P-QRS-T EKG was more like a tidal wave. There is a Drafter water bottle in her cycling jersey pocket, so technically this photo counts in the competition.

The photo competition is heating up.  This one has some sizzle and bling.

The other thing heating up is the temperature for the Horribly Hilly this Saturday.  Good luck to all the participants!

JERSEY UPDATE: the Hincapie order will be mailed on June 18, and expected arrival is June 20.  Remember that you have to sign for your package.  If you have a nice FedEx guy, you could try leaving a note (and cookies- or beer, if that’s legal or I don’t find it first) on the front porch if you won’t be home.

This week will will find some flats roads (relatively) to let our HHH legs recover.  As such, we will happily be stuck in Lodi again.  The full route is 40miles, with a 30 and 20 option.  I have it on authority that Team Power Watt may be leading the Short Pour.

Garmin Link: Lodi Canning Company GPS Link

Download PDF map: Lodi Canning 40 30 20

Draft responsibly

BrickO

A recap of our Churches, Tavern and Baseball Diamonds ride is best sung to the Creedence Clearwater Revival melody, “PROUD DRAFTER”.

Left the Free House at 5:30,
Riding with The Drafters every Monday night,
And I never lost one minute of drinking,
Worrying ‘bout the way I could have ridden.

Big wheel keep on turning,
B2 Bomber keep on burning,
Rolling, rolling, rolling on his gravel bike.

Dropped a lot of guys on Matz Rd,
Pumped a lot of pain down Whippoorwill,
But I never saw the good side of the Drafters
Until I hitched a ride with Tick Tock and Too Hip

Rolling, rolling, rolling on with the Drafters,
If you come down the hill on Woodland,
Bet you gonna find some drone overhead.
You don’t have to worry ‘cause you have no legs left,
Drafters on the ride are happy to give.

Rolling, rolling, rolling with the Drafters.
Rolling, rolling, rolling with the Drafters.
Rolling, rolling, rolling with the Drafters.

Yeah, so Bomber shows up on his gravel bike, since it was still on the car rack from his 100mile gravel race in Kansas the DAY BEFORE.  Too Hip, The Italian Job and Captain Joe were silly enough to think he would show signs of fatigue and challenged his lead right out of the Free House gate.  My own silly inclination left me before reaching Martinsville, about the same time the pack left me. But, I realized that it isn’t a lack of fitness that left me in the dust. It’s the lack of a gravel bike!  I’m sure the wider tires and lower pressure = faster BrickO, right?  This new gravel bike is really a necessity, or at least a scientific experiment, and not a hedonistic pursuit. And so my birthday list grows.

We had a crew of 18 Drafters, including Newbie Kim “Sandlot“. Remember the movie scene when Ham is having a verbal sparring match with the captain of the rival baseball team?  His crushing blow is, “You throw like a GIRL!”.  Sandlot was overhead sparring with her mate, Whamo, and may have uttered a similar verbal assault. To be honest, she uttered a totally different Sandlot quote, something like, “you’re killing me Smalls”, but that didn’t have the same bite for the blog as, “you bike like a girl”, so I took artistic liberties.  But what if my artistic rendition of a silly Sandlot quote led to marital strife? So, I must acknowledge my exaggeration and elaboration and now I’ve droned on way too long.

The Italian Job made an appearance.  Like a proud papa, checking in on his babies (Colnago, Cervelo and Scott) making sure they are being well-loved and cared for by their adoptive Drafters.  Not that anyone (Drone Master) has been accused of neglect, like failure to check air pressure before a ride…  A huge thanks to Colin (Italian Job), Scott, Paul and Josh at Cronometro for keeping us rolling.  With those kudos, I have to give a little dig, too (cause that’s how I roll).  As previously mentioned, I was dropped somewhere near Martinsville, and excited to see the lead peloton waiting for me at the top of Matz Rd.  Or not.  Turns out the pause was for a mechanical: Too Hip needed his seat adjusted.  Seems like he always needs something- at least this time is wasn’t something absorbent.  Anyway, the Italian Job was quick to render mechanical support, given that he lives and breathes bike design, maintenance and fitting.  I was bursting with anticipation as he reached into his tool bag, expecting a gold plated Park Tool.  Looks like somebody forgot to check their bag twice…. empty.  He will be on the Horribly Hilly course this Saturday offering mechanical support and I’m sure the gold plated Park Tool will be at the ready.

Drone Master skillfully maneuvered through the course, staying ahead of the peloton to capture the action.  Imagine his surprise when Tobacco City Boy and Dan-yelly appeared ahead of B2 Bomber.  They apparently opted to ride the course backwards.  That’s one way to take the lead! Here is the link to the Drone video:

Drone Master’s Drafter video link

Tired and hungry from our ride, the crew was happy to reach the beer and beverage refueling station.  Nurse Sully and Party Planner (P2) Ann had secured the Free House patio. We celebrated E$ and Cookie Monster’s last singles ride before heading off to get married this weekend.  May the force be with you.  And, we celebrated Coach Arms’ home stretch before she “drops the puck”.  Due date June 20.  May the force get baby out quickly and safely.  A couple of my friends, Eric and Kristine, biked to the Free House- on their Harley.  When Coach Arms walked in, I heard Eric exclaim to his girlfriend, “Did you see that woman?”  To which Kristine clarified, “The pregnant one?”.  Eric confessed, “The athletic one.  Is she pregnant?”  Ahh, to be 9 months pregnant and still be chiseled from stone.  Barefooter and I agreed that nobody ever commented on our athletic stature at 9 months pregnant.  Perhaps they were inspired to contribute to the Save the Whales campaign.  I hope so, as it would mean I contributed something other than surliness to the world.  That’s a really long time to go without a beer.

This coming Monday, June 11, we will prepare for the Horribly Hilly Hundreds with a taxing ride called Take Me To Church.  You will have plenty of time to repent your sins on the way to church as it is a LONG 17% climb.  E Money and CM Wille have inspired this ride up Vermont Church.

Please say, “I do” and join the Draft.  The Short Pour option is the Brains and Braun ride we did earlier in the season, cutting off of Union Valley on Braun and looping back to KP. I do believe team Power Watt will be leading up the Short Pour but please communicate via GroupMe app to verify if you plan to attend. REMEMBER THERE IS CONSTRUCTION HEADING INTO CROSS PLAINS, so we will have to follow the detour to get across Hwy 14. I did recon on Friday, and even in the rain, the two stretches of packed dirt by St Francis Xavier were easily ridable.  THERE IS GRAVEL TURNING LEFT ONTO BARLOW FROM MINERAL POINT. 

Garmin link: login to Garmin Connect and then open this link.  Save it as a course.  Then plug in your Garmin and share it. Garmin link Vermont Church

Download and print PDF map: Vermont Church

SHORT POUR: See cut off on Take Me To Church map or follow this one, which has even a shorter short cut:

Download and print PDF map: Vermont Church

Draft responsibly,

BrickO