Oops. I really upped my game this week by including a formal cue sheet. And then forgot to attach it. Did I mention my secretary is on furlough? Or maybe I knocked a screw loose riding the new Saris platform?
In any event, Rockin’ Roxbury v2 is fortuitous as Duchess also had a forgetful Go Fish moment.
A half-dozen Drafters decided to Go Fish! Nothing clever in this post. Just the bare bones.
Bare Bones Post
Footer warms up before MTB with the Dirty Draft
Pit Stop
Sandlot finds her inner Warrior
Slinger yet to miss a Draft
Drafter of week goes to Skipper, who racked up another 55miles by extending this route.
Intimidator. Skipper dares you to Go Fish.
Slow Cow meandered through the the countryside, seeking friends of his own kind rather than fish. Thanks for letting us know you are still out there wandering.
Wondering off route
Slow Cow Finds Friends
The Rockin’ Roxbury route for next week will be challenging. Dig deep as you face 3000 feet of climb over epic hills including Enchanted Valley, Katzenbuechel Road and Dunlap Hollow Road. Enjoy the rustic towns and their establishments: Marxville Welding, The Roxbury and Dorf Haus Supper Club. This is a slighly different route than in previous years, and perhaps the most breathtaking (both in beauty and elevation). The photo destination is the corner of Old Settlers and Dunlap Hollow.
A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Pipes, making it clear past the half century mark. What you can do once, you can do again (maybe not two Olmpic medals, and hopefully not the scaphoid fracture with a bike tip-over part).
Pipes flashes her new birthday suit, price tag and all.
What travels over 40 mph and generates less watts than a light bulb? Bob Dylan knows.
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind
No credit can be taken for choosing a route with a tail wind to deliver us home, but I will claim it anyway. 15 Drafters showed Brains and Brawn on a climb that ruthlessly “levels out” at 14% before nipping at the quads with a 15% bite.
Deposit brains here, please. BrickO wisely relies on brawn.LuLu covers the brains of this operation.Footer prepares for Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Sandlot and Duchess were an unexpected surprise).Happy wife happy life. Duchess knows to let Sandlot win the polka dot jersey on Braun. As if he had a choice.Pit Stop! Not just pausing for a photo…Skipper’s brawn resulted in a 54 miles ride from Monona. Winner, winner, beer for dinner.ZRex before the climb. Wonder if he had that same smile hammering up Braun?
Clark Kent
or Captain Joe?
Captain Joe shows his true colors before unleashing his brawn on Braun. A few Drafters have room for improvmenet when it comes to showing their true colors. Where’s the green???
Slinger
Thing 1 and Vintage
Belle and Bomber. Beauty and the Beast. Brains and Brawn.
Octane remembered his water bottle but forgot his brain bucket. Foiled to conquer Braun, he headed back home and filled his bucket with a double rainbow.
Pot of gold on a different route.
A shout out to our health care heros. Hit-the-Wall foregos a Drafter ride to be on Webex call. Clearly, the boss forgot it’s Drafter Monday.
We have submitted a funds request for a babysitter in next year’s Drafter Budget. Dan-yelly and TCB were spotted Drafting together on Monday near their home in Oregon. Who is watching their children? And the beer frigde? It isn’t Longtable, but it is impressive.
Beer fridge like Longtable
Dan-yelly and TCB
Drafter of the Week winner(s) are rich with something much greater than brains or brawn. These sisters bring us pure joy. And a budget increase for that babysitter.
Arms and Legs introduce the newest Drafter, Blake. She will have competition for that title soon as Cookie Monster is counting down the weeks. Big sister Smiley Riley suits up in green for her first Draft.
The ride for Monday April 27 will be Go Fish! My Dad and I used to play that game for hours, until advancing to Crazy 8s and eventually Buck ‘Em. I no longer play cards. One trip home from college, I found myself in a bar in my home town of Edgerton, playing Buck ‘Em with a group of guys. They were loud and obnoxious, and I thought I had more brains (and brawn for that matter) than all of them put together. Confidently I antied up, placed my bet, and lost more in one hand than I had brought to the table. I slunk to the bar where my Dad was having a beer and asked him to cover my debt. On the quiet ride home he said only this, “I hope you learned your lesson.” That I did. The late great Kenny Rogers heeded the same warning, “You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” I tried that and decided biking was a faster escape. Anyway… back to Go Fish.
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Green Fish
The road between Fish and Crystal Lake is still closed, and is the photo destination for the Go Fish! ride. The recon route through Dane to Lee is more scenic that the map below. Since my secretary is on furlough, we are taking the path more trodden (read: less work to post). Ride whichever route makes your heart sing, so long as your picture is taken in front of the Road Closed barricade.
OTHER RIDING NEWS: if the weather cooperates this Friday, April24, there will be a 50 mile ride to the Rock of Gibraltar departing between 10AM-2PM. The route will be posted. It might be fun to see fellow Drafters rocking to and from Gibraltar, riding apart together.
DIRTY DRAFT: with Skipper at the helm, we hope to kick off the Dirty Draft on Wednesdays. Blackhawk, Pleaseant View and CamRock will be our playgrounds. Announcments will be made through GroupMe. If you got dirty in 2019, you are inextricably enlisted. If you want to get dirty, email or text me. Please consider joining the Capital Off Road Pathfinders (CORP) if you are going to get dirty. Trail building and maitenance is largely done by volunteers who rely on the support of those enjoying the trails.
Hair style has never been my strong suit. Recently, my mom cleaned out her basement and came across my K-12 school photos, leaving no doubt that my “style” is unrelated to the recent closing of salons. Undoubtedly, the chlorinated pool where I spent the better part of my early years did not tip the scales in my favor. Walking to school in 4th grade, I was attacked by a red-winged black bird who claimed the straw on my head for his nest. Surviving the BIG HAIR 80s as a teenager was painful. Perms weren’t really a good option. Thanks to the chemical combination of chlorine and farm well-water, perms left my hair a very unnatural and unsettling shade of orange (and once purple). My hopes were raise in college when a teammate promised that product would make it come to life. Defeated after much product, rollers and a curling iron, she said, “I’m sorry. There is nothing I can do.” A conversation at age 29 is not one to forget: (Stylist) “Your hair will really thicken up when you start taking pre-natal vitamins.” (BrickO) “I am taking pre-natal vitamins.” (Stylist) “Oh. Well, when you get pregnant, your hair will really be full.” (BrickO) “I am 3 months pregnant”. (Stylist) “Oh.” Many have tried and failed.
Drafter “dos” and don’ts.Imagine having a full bodied hair and voice? Instead, I settled for a full bodied beer.
Over the decades, I have come to terms with my fine, thin, straight, drab dishwater color, lifeless hair. And by that, I mean I have as many hats as I do bikes. After all, it’s just hair, right? I have a strong motor, good treads on the tires, an electrical system that only short circuits occasionally- who needs the fancy finishes? I would check the box for the upgrade if available, but it’s not. And, for the first time EVER, I’m actually grateful for what sits on my head. Since there is no salon that can improve my hair lot in life, there is nothing about closure of the salons during the pandemic that can make it worse. My hair could be the only thing thriving (relatively speaking).
The inspiration for this soliloquy comes from you, my fellow Drafters. I feel your pain. Thank you for joining me.
Skipper’s Doppelgänger is Syndrome from the IncrediblesFooter’s son had a school physical education assignment requiring hair intervention to “see” it through.Belle is a curve wrecker when it comes to poking fun at hair.Vilks is going for the porn mustache meets Peaky Blinders look.
Phew. That’s a half hour of entertainment (for myself). Keep those photos coming.Coach Arms- we need one of your new arrival. Congrats to Arms and Legs on the birth of their daughter!
Monday was certainly judgement day. The majority of us came up short on braving Rock of Ages due to 38mph gusts and the temperature to match . No need to recount the votes for Drafter of the Week. There was only one Drafter on the ballot.
Slinger Drafted unopposed.
Another Drafter faired well on judgement day, earning herself a seat on the bench. As a former mediocre division 3 basketball player, I have spent a fair amount of time on the bench, but not this kind. Congrats to Jill (I am reluctent to share her Drafter handle now that she’s a big deal) on being elected to the WisconsinSupreme Court. I’m taking up a collection for a green robe. I have a photo depicting a very green shade of green during an Ironman competition… but I’m saving it for a rainy day. Or snowy day, as it appears out my window.
WTF (what the fluff)?
The ride next week will test our brains and brawn (as in use our brains and find a way to not climb Braun) as we head west to Cross Plaines. The photo opp is at intersection of Union Valley and Braun. This will give you pause to consider the climb ahead as you flash your pearly whites and Drafter green.
In the words of the late and great Bill Withers, Monday was a Lovely Day to Draft.
When I wake up on a Monday, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind
Then I Draft with you
And the world’s alright with me
Just one Draft with you
And I know it’s gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day
When the road that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to find
When someone else in front of me
Always seems to know the way
Then I Draft with you
And the world’s alright with me
Just one Draft with you
And I know it’s gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day
As discovered on my recon mission last week, and revealed via Drafter GroupMe (let me know if you want to be added to that list for f’d up direction and other construction updates), Pine Rd and Schuman Rd don’t actually intersect. “When the road that lies ahead of me seems imposssible to find.” I hear you, Bill. And I also hear Billy Boy… who wins round two of DRAFTLESS DRAFTER OF THE WEEK.
Billy Boy is all too familiar with my sense of directional impairment. Drafting on the deserted island of Sanibel, he writes, ” I found Pine, which is quite near Blind Pass, a name I’ve always equated with your direction handouts. Just ride blindly and figure it out! ” It’s gonna be a lovey day, a lovely day.
Billy Boy Drafts to Pine and Blind Pass. How prophetic.
Footer, Slinger, Duchess and Sandlot set out a full 24 hours early, not trusting Mother Nature to deliver a lovely Monday.
Social Distancing not applicable for Sandlot and Duchess. Consider it a fringe benefit of marriage.
A few trusted Mother Nature to deliver and Drafted Monday.
Hit-the-Wall risks hypothermia to comply with the Drafter gear requirement. Tomorrow, he ages up. Happy Birthday!Z Rex and BrickO were headed home when they spotted Captain Joe on the outbound path. For a brief second, it felt like old times.Pine and Shuman. Pine and Spring Valley. Whatever. Close enough.
Yah know, we all have our strengths. And I’d be happy to post mine. It would be a short list (road bike, dark beer aficionado, MTB bike, dark beer taste tester, gravel bike, fat tire bike) – and by bike I don’t mean that I am a strong bikER. I mean that I have a strong showing of bikes in my garage. It’s really my weaknesses that are more plentiful and extraordinary. Here is the short list. Directional impairment is one most familiar to the Drafters, who have “benefitted” by exploring most of Dane (and unintentially) surrounding counties . Cooking. Math. Spelling. Wine appreciation. Singing. I’m just getting warmed up for my marathon of shorcomings. But back to directional impairment. There is one route that cannot have misdirection, and that is how long to Draft apart together. A Drafter, friend and Nurse Practitioner sent me this article, written by a cyclist and PhD in something that studies small things that kill us. It is worth reading. And directs me to continue to Draft apart together.
Next week’s route will be Rock of Ages. Hills are good character builders. All sorts of characters are built in a sequence of 4s and expressed up the climb on Bitney. The selfie challenge continues. The photo destination is the intersection of Y and Bitney.
The day was absolutely spectacular for Drafting to the Riley Tavern, except for maybe a nippy homeward bound head wind. Our double entendre Drafter handle has become a bit of a misnomer, since we are neither drafting behind our bigger bodied cyclists (hey, no judgement, delicate flowers appreciate help- thanks for the socks, Sully)…
Draft draft behind me. I’m a delicate flower.
Nor are we enjoying a post-ride draft at Longtable. That doesn’t preculde us from enjoying a draft at home, 6 feet from our signficiant other, however. LuLu has embodied the drafter spirit and found electrolyte balance, as displayed below.
Electrolyte Balance
The Drafter photos came fast and furious throughout the day. Apart, we Drafted strong together.
Seems like we suffered a bout of forgetfulness:
Footer forgot where the Tavern was on the route.
Footer never saw the tavern, but sent proof of concept
Belle and Bomber forgot to take a photo at Riley. So cute how they share post-ride snacks and Strava data.
Bomber and Belle share Pirate’s Booty and Strava data
Hit-The-Wall forgot the route entirely. He has a penchant, it seems, for the bike path. A+ for family time, B- for Drafter attire (allegedly there is a Drafter shirt under his jacket), and C for route.
Hit the Wall goes off the wall with his son.
Sandlot blended right in on the Woodland Trail at Gov Nelson, hiking in her Drafter green. She forgot the idea was to bike.
Pipes, notorious for forgetting her front wheel, also forgot her bike and joined Sandlot in exercise on foot.
Caboose found a silver lining to virtual Drafting: he is no longer relegated to a last place finish. No chance of riding Riley Tavern route from MN, but how can you forget Drafter swag?
Following the rules of engagment and therefore eligible for the GRAND PRIZE are the following:
Vilks sports a 5 o’clock shadow (or lame attempt at a beard?) and GQ arm warmersThing One looks for LuLu and Vintage, who apparently had a top-tube-to-crotch altercation while doing a wheelie in the parking lot. Thing One, his wife and PT noted, “You can’t treat stupid.”Slinger was the first to reach the Riley Tavern summit!BrickO and Z Rex collectively donned the most Drafter gear per pixel.Skipper wins the greatest Riley Tavern mileage, pedaling home to Monona with all lights on at dusk.
The clear winner(s) in round 1 are Speedy and Duracell. “Road Trip! Didn’t burn too many calories but we sang a lot in the van. Too bad it was closed, kids really wanted to have a beer with us.”
Speedy and Duracell with their kiddos on a road trip
Here’s what is on tap for Round 2 next Monday, April 6: PINE LOOP. Same rules apply: text me a photo at the intersetion of PINE RD and SCHUMAN with DRAFTER SWAG.
Our Drafter Family has Drafted Responsibly since 2013. We will continue to do so.
No droplet sharing from Middleton to Lodi thanks to SweatVac
Our good friends at SweatVac have donated shapeshifters to physicians on the front lines, and will offer a dramatic discount to cyclists seeking to Draft Responsibly: Link to SweatVac
In an effort to ensure that we Draft responsibly, I tinkered around with the idea of providing these masks for the Monday Draft to Riley Tavern. This gives a new meaning to “going green”. I entertained a non-Drafting time trial format, releasing a rider every 3 minutes to maintain a safe distance (exemption for couples already sharing snot). Even if the risk of contamination was eliminated with these measures, we run the risk of being perceived by the community as drafting irresponsibly.
While stewing and brewing over this conundrum, I was epiphanized (I guess you could say I had an epiphany, but this word is so much cooler, although possibly not real). The Drafter bond is less about the miles ridden side by side, and more about the stories of those miles (mostly me poking fun at our ineptitudes). My epiphany for a solution came from watching mini-Pipes conquer her first hairpin turn on concrete. I wasn’t on the sidewalk at the time, but know it well. Pipes shared the story and that gave me a sense of community, even without drafting behind mini-Pipes.
With that, here are the rules of engagement for the Riley Tavern Route:
We will Draft responsibly, not convening as we normally do at 5:30.
Ride on your own; it must include a portion of the Riley Tavern route in order to be recorded for all prosperity on the offical spreadsheet , henceforth qualifying for a prize (TBD including but not limited to Photo Competition and MVP).
You must send a selfie with Drafter swag and evidence of the Riley Tavern, date stamped Monday March 30. You do not have to be in Drafter attire, although strongly encouraged to earn photo competition points.
In case of rain, you can ride indoors and send a selfie with Drafter swag. No need to have a smart trainer with copious amounts of power data. Old school Johnny G Spin Bikes work beautfiully. Please consider joining the Tobacco City Peloton (current Edgertonian members: 2).
Tobacco City PelotonBrickO’s Johnny G Spin bike: watt per rust ratio is dropping as we both get older.
Side bar: our Hincapie Drafter gear should be shipped April 21. Keep an eye on your email for shipping confirmation from FedEx as you will need to sign for your package.
Octane has been practicing selfies with his Drafter water bottle. Water bottles, towels, socks, hats, shapeshifters and certainly Drafter kits qualify as swag.
The Drafters followed The Offspring and CDC’s advice. YouTube You Gotta Keep ‘Em SeparatedKeep Em’ SeparatedSandlot took social isolation to the next level: Drafting alone at home with PPE.
Given the circumstances of social isolation and a gloomy March Monday, we made the best of the situation. One bright spot was the addition of Drafter Newbie, LuLu. I was worried about his abilities from the start, as he and Vintage nearly collided making the turn from Elmwood Ave over the curb (because we forgot there was a driveway?) into the parking lot. There are many reasons why this would have been bad: 1) failure to follow the no injury policy, 2) Cronometro’s Italian Job wasn’t present to do curbside bike repairs, 3) skin to skin contact is forbidden under the current viral attack. Luckily, the boys got their signals straight and reluctantly crouched at the starting line, muscles pumping and thumping in time, they’re going the Distance, they’re going for speed.
The only thing I learned about our Newbie was his occupation, some sort of cyclotron jockey. In my mind, this translated into a tech geek working on peloton development. Cyclotron. Peloton. You can see the connection? So, when he casually asked about my career, I utilized lots of air to drone on about the myriad of initials that have found their way to the end of my name. I was feeling pretty darn good about myself and my tuition dollar to initial ratio, unitl I got home and googled him. Yeah, so I should have used more big words and less air during our conversation. Turns out this dude is a cyclotron jockey… the medical frickin’ physics kind with “experience in radionuclide production, accelerator targetry and radiochemistry, as an analytical and preparative radiochemist in clinical and pre-clinical positron emission tomography (PET) scanning environments, in the construction of automated radiochemistry modules for routine and novel syntheses, and bringing PET radiotracer production facilities from bare slab to routine production and research activities.” Uh, yeah, so about my initials. Nevermind.
Half way through the ride, his Drafter handle was decidedly “Einstein” as he clearly knows enough about physics and gravity not to get dropped. But then I noticed the Lululemon emblem on his cycling pants and his handle changed. No matter that my half century +1 old eyes mistook Novara for Lulu. I can’t keep ’em separated. LuLu had taken root.
Our “leave no Drafter behind” motto was mostly adhered to. Booker J showed up on a single speed. Although the 107 mile Dairy Roubaix has been cancelled, he is determined to continue his rigorous training regimen. With a perspiration rate like his, the motto had to be modified: “Leave no Drafter more than 10miles behind “.
Hit-the-Wall, living up to his name, went out hard and turned around at the bike path. He sent a curious notification to the blog:
Not going the Distance, but going for Speed. He’s all alone, all alone, in his time of need.
His follow up text, “I just couldn’t keep up, so the bike path looked inviting. No beer at the end really kills the motivation, too.” Couldn’t agree more, Hit-the-Wall.
In this trying time, I thought a few motivational videos from Drafter off-spring might brighten your spirits. Coach Arms has almost gone the 9mo distance with Baby #2, and almost went the distance with another UW Badger Women’s Hockey title. With the uninvited time off from the rink, she is focusing her coaching energies on muffin making.
Pipes uses teaching points from her bike-deer collision and subequent bonk tip-over scaphoid fracture to coach her off-spring’s first spring ride.
As of now, the forecast for next Monday is sunny and 58. Lots can change, including social isolation protocol. I can’t predict if we will be riding apart together or not at all. But, here’s to hoping for a Riley Tavern Draft next week.
We have all been called upon to create social distance. The forecast for Monday March 23 is favorable for the Drafters to go the distance while respectfully keeping that distance. This is an excellent opportunity to get dropped and claim viral defense and social responsibility! There is a song by Cake that delivers the message beautfilly, with some liberties taken with lyrics (Cake The Distance)
Reluctantly crouched at the starting line
Muscles pumping and thumping in time
The green kit flashes, the Drafters start up
Churning and burning, they yearn for the beer cup
Bomber v Skipper deftly maneuver and muscle for rank
Hit-the-Wall’s fuel burning fast on an empty tank
Reckless and wild, Loose Screw pours through the turns
Belle’s prowess is potent and secretly stern
As the Italian Job and Z Rex speed through the finish, the flags go down
C-Monster and her belly are cheering at the edge of town
The parking lot is empty except for kick-butt woman
Pipes biking and striving to avoid deer as best she can
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up
And long ago Speedy left with the cup
But Footer and Dan-yelly are biking and striving and hugging the turns
And thinking of Arms for whom baby delivery date still looms
We’re going the distance
We’re going for speed
We’re not alone (not alone)
Not alone in this time of need
With the predicted temperature at 51 degrees and sunny until setty at 7:12pm, I think we can go the short Hyer Loop distance. As you will recall from years past, we depart prompty at 5:30PM from Parmenter St and Elmwood Ave. We convene for a post-draft draft at Free House or Longtable. However, in the short term, we will be socially responsible and drink alone at home until the the establishments reopen and the air is clear.
There are a few rules: 1) have fun which includes wearing green and may mean riding like a bat out of hell or a bat with a broken wing- it isn’t a competition, unless a competition is fun for you and then it is definitely a competition 2) you are responsible for your safety, don’t get injured if you can help it, 3) follow the rules of the road (Loose Screw has his own ideas of what the yellow line indicates), 4)don’t ride alone (but don’t ride too close while observing viral precautions) , 5) be sure your bike is in good repair (now is a GREAT time to get a tune up at Cronometro) 6) be prepared to fix a flat (the Italian Job is not our official team mechanic, although he has the quickest flat change time this side of the Mississippi), meaning you have the equipemnt and know how, or at least access to YouTube (Pipes), 7) text me if for some reason you don’t finish the ride so I don’t freak out or save you a beer that gets warm.
Let the photo competition games begin! There is one rule and one rule only: you must be in the photo with some type of Drafter swag (head band, water bottle, jersey, towel). The categories will be determined after the final submission to spur on creativity without boundaries (and giving me total latitude). In a similar fashion, awards will be at at the discretion of the Drafter Board. Last year’s yellow jersey winner was Bond, in part because he is a beast, but moreover because of his frequent pit stops.
Bond finds a fitting home for his Yellow Jersey trophy.
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