Memorial Day was filled with many fatigued quadriceps myofibers as 11 Drafters tackled the Pinnacle Pain & Punishment (PPP) segment of the Horribly Hilly Hundreds (HHH) route.    In case you are in need of a bit of inspiration to go the distance, check out this story: “Lionhearted” Girl Bikes Dad Across India, Inspiring a Nation

The PPP included the Usual Suspects, green with Mounds Park Road climb anticipation.

There were those who never reached the destination, but were successful in other ways.  Octane had plenty of gas left in the tank, but none in his tire. He is the second Drafter 2020 Flat Tire Club inductee.  Kudos to our front line bicycle shop workers in Mt Horeb for a quick turnaround.  LuLu has been promoted to Photo Shop coordinator for any Drafter needing assitance “reaching” their destination.

And then there were the Usual Suspects riding in unusual ways.  Vintage gutted himself (literally, see photo) early, allowing Thing One to Draft responsibly, saving energy to claim the QOM. There has been some concern about Vintage’s morphogenesis.  He has shed his namesake bike with “grandpa shifters”, 15 pounds, most of his clothing and all signs of Drafter green. Riddle: who wears nothing but is always dressed in green? Maybe Kermit is a more appropriate Drafter handle.

Slow Wandering Cow continues to live up to his name. Missing the turn on Zwettler Rd, he meandered along County F where he was accompanied by a snapping turtle.  He who rides indiscriminatly among all slow creatures is not lost.

Some Drafters were definltey lost.  The Dark Drafter got his bat signals mixed up and rode to Roxbury.

Whitesnake’s Here I Go Again has been the theme song of our Drafterless Drafter season thus far:

And here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a Drafter, I was born to ride alone
‘Cause I know what it means
To ride along the lonely street of dreams
Here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known

Bowie’s Changes may be our new theme song.

Ch-ch-changin’. Turn and face the strange. Ch-ch-changin’. Just gonna have to be a different Draft.

THIS COMING MONDAY, JUNE 1, WE WILL REINSTATE THE  GROUP RIDE WITH SOME CH-CH-CHANGES AND PREVENTATIVE MEASURES IN PLACE.   1) Departure 5PM vs 5:30. Since most of us are more flexible, let’s shoot for 5PM. Please text me if you prefer 5:30. This is just a trial.  2) Departure location temporarily moved fromParmenter St to the BrickO-Z residence (parking along Glacier Ridge Rd-  parking on west side only), swinging by the various Pheasant Branch Conservancy parking lots on the way out of town. 3) Time trial start: Draft only those in your household, otherwise departing at intervals (30s? 1min?) to help keep em’ separated (see previous theme song by The Offspring). 4) Lawn provided. Bring a lawn chair and beer if you want to hang out after the Draft.

We will head to the Lodi Canning Company for a 38mile adventure. There is a section on Meek Road I like to call “Lodi-Roubaix“.  Dental supervision for loose fillings is highly recommended.  Keep to the centerline, pending oncoming traffic,  for minimal cobble experience.  If you are more comfortable Drafting on your own, I would encourage you to do so.  A photo record of your Draft should be taken at Lodi Canning Co.

PDF map and cuesheet download: Lodi Canning Co

GPS link: Lodi Canning Co.

Cha-cha-changin’ DIAPERS is what  Cookie Monster Willie and canine Millie will be doing in the upcoming weeks. It’s the home stretch… okay, so maybe “stretch” isn’t the right word.  Or it is but lacks sensitivity.  It’s the bottom of the 9th.  You got this.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Cleveland.  It’s a death trap, it’s a suicide rap.  The Boss found lyrics to speak to the  11 Drafters who faced the Formidable Festge. Born to Run (or Ride). 

In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream

At night we ride through the maze of Dane County on two-wheeled machines

Sprung from cages out on Cleveland Road,

Carbon wheeled, Di2 injected,and hammerin’ out over the line

H-Oh, Baby this ride rips the bones from your back

It’s a death trap, it’s a suicide rap

We gotta get out while we’re young

‘Cause Drafters like us, baby we were born to ride

Slow Cow sent an emotional montage depicting before (smiling) and after (grimacing) climbing Cleveland. In addition to his normal herd of pursuers,  Slow Cow was passed by a 90 year-old power walking up Cleveland.  Slow Cow’s groupies are Drafters of the Week, despite lack of green attire.

Bomber and Belle may have been the only Drafters to ride Festge on Monday evening, trusting the radar only to be betrayed.  HAPPY BIRTHWEEK TO BOMBER!

The rest of us played it safe and rode over the weekend when the weather was less formidable (read: perfect).

Festge Park began to look like an official health care professional summit.  Surly Bob, Pit Stop and BrickO have your RN and PT essestial bases covered, and even some non-essentials, too.

And then Festge Park began to look more like UW Health Lover’s Lane.  Knievel didn’t crash, but he did fall for Hundo.  Make no mistake, she may have been the 100th rider to join the Draft, but she’s worth a million. Duchess bowed to his bride, and then got dropped as Sandlot was out of sight the last 4 miles home.

Skipper may not be a UW health care professional, but he knew where to find one. Skipper and his mate returned to the park for a 3 hour tour.  A 3 hour tour.

Next Monday is Memorial Day and so we will celebrate with an extra long Draft, the P3 route (Pinnacle Pain and Punishment). Many are deeply saddened by the necessary cancellation of the Horribly Hilly Hundreds. The P3 route reclaims 60 of those HHH miles for your quadriceps pleasure.  The photo opp is the HHH sign at the bottom of Mounds Park Rd. The calm before the storm.

Recon notes: There is a bit of gravel at the sharp right corner on the descent on Pinnacle, just before reaching HH.  Don’t be startled when you hear a ferociuos dog(s) barking just as you are negotiating the gravely turn – he/they are caged.  Many road signs are missing, so be sure to load the GPS link, have the map, or phone a friend.  Doing recon, I couldn’t get a GPS signal and had to phone home, have my location tracked, and then told which way to turn on F from Moyer, when I thought I was on Ryan.  Anyway, Billy Bob will appreciate that you should always go left on Johnson in the woods of WI. And, when in doubt, climb.

GPS link: PPP Garmin

Download PDF map and cue sheet: P3 Pinnacle Pain and Punishment

Whatever kind of punishment you want to serve up your quads this Memorial Day weekend, please be safe and may the green force be with you.  And if you need more green, the Hincapie store is open through May 27: Hincapie Drafter Gear Order Here

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

It has come to my attention that since my Formidable Festge recon mission, Enchanted Valley has become a dienchanting cycling experience.

• From Otto Kerl, stay striaght instead of turning R on Enchanted Valley.
• R on K (mind 3 rumble strips before P).
• R on Vosen Rd
• L on Schneider

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Thirteen Drafters pedaled toward the light.  Amen. Hallelujah.  Technically, only a dozen Drafters actually made it to Church.  Skipper, despite extending the route to 70miles, took a wrong turn and never made it to Church.  Instead, he was christened into the 2020 Flat Tire Club.  A former champion of the Flat Tire Club, he lost his way but is now home. Please pay attention to his calories “consumed.”

Successful Churchgoers pictured below.

Climate change may not account for hell freezing over.  The appearance of the Dark Drafter may be a more probable cause.  We’ve waited a very long time for the return of the Dark Knight. He made one appearance before the Drafters became an offical franchise in 2013, sanbagging his way to the yellow jersey.  One and done, he went out on top.  And now he’s back.

The Dark Drafter does need a little green.  Pipes’ daughter, Pipette, has a solution.  References upon request.

The ride next week will meet the Formidable Festge. This is more of a “hub” type route, intended to provide opportunities to venture off on various spokes.  Footer and Skipper have been indulging in extra miles (like 70 of them), and I would hate to cramp their drafting style with a piddly 32 mile excursion. The photo destination is the Festge park sign at the top of Scherbel Road. You should appreciate the generosity of adding a slight detour on Cleveland Rd and Deer Run Rd, adding a little appetizer before the 20% entree.

Link:GPS Formidable Festive

Download PDF cuesheet and map: Formidable Festge

Off the road and on to trail news, the  inagural Dirty Draft at Pleasant View was quite pleasant.  We started with 9, and ended with 8. An additional equiment failure category  will be added to the year end awards ceremony to recognize the broken spoke.  Better a broken spoke than a broken bone, right Z Wrecks? Let’s get dirty again tomorrow (Wednesday).  Look for confirmation on GroupMe. Meet at the end entrance of Blackhawk at 5PM.  Or, if you are Vintage and Thing 1, meet at the John Muir trails to get dirty.

Other news: the Hincapie order has shipped and should arrive tomorrow.  Be sure to manage your FedEx account for indiriect signature if you won’t be home.  Because there are so, so many other places to be during lockdown.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

I’d like to blame the quarantine for holding my memory captive, but I’m afraid being on the backside of this century may have more to do with my forgetfulness.  13 Drafters rocked Roxbury.  11 on the blog+ Footer + Slinger = 13.  Here’s “two” my math and memory improving.

A silver lining to my senior moment: another opportunity to wish Nurse Sully a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sully and her Spotted Cow are ready to roll.

And highlight another Drafter inductee.

Look for a boot-propelled strider and moose-mobile drafting with TCB and Dan-yelly.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

13 Draftess Drafters rocked 3000 feet of climb on the Roxbury route and lived to tell the tale. And there are tales to tell:

Pit Stop and Surly are RN heros on the front line and in Drafter line to climb Dunlap Hollow.  Check out the 5″ fatty tires on the Surly.  As if the climb isn’t hard enough…. hero all around.

Skipper was rockin’ Roxbury and then some.  He is a day tripper, yeah, it took him so long to climb out, he climbed out. Here is a math problem worth figuring out: 2636 calories = how many quadruple barrel Big Bad Baptist beers? Motivation comes in many flavors.

Warped sense of fun.

Thing 1 was indoctrinated to the thrill of victory and the agony of Di2.  Always check your electronic shifting charge before heading out to climb 3000 feet.  Vintage has a full charge for Katzenbuechel, opting to ride the course in reverse to play favorties with the wind direction.

Only two Drafters waited to rock Roxbury on the dedicated Monday time slot.  Captain Joe was sighted on the return trip while Z and BrickO were stretching their legs on the Hyer Loop.  Nothing like being caught in a major shortcut! Octane finished in the dark at 8:40.  In an exclusive interview with Drafter Illustrated by candlelight, he gasped, “That which doesn’t kill you makes you cry like a little baby.”

Still happy. Easterly winds and a few wrong  turns later, smiles were traded for tears.

Cycling with one’s spouse in “normal times” can be a wonderful opporutnity to keep the magic brewing.  During times of the pandemic, it means more…. Til Dunlap do us part. Duchess and Sandlot, BrickO and Z rewnew their vows.

Z and BrickO ponder their vows.

The pandemic has also impacted cycling as a retreat for parents from their beloved offspring.  The Drafter of the Week explains in video clip below:

Tobacco City Boy tries to break away but is quickly caught.

Dan-yelly can’t overpower the rubber boot propelled strider bike.

There will be a time and place next week to renew vows as the route will Take Me To Church, Fo Sho.  That’s urban speak for Forshaug, a gnarly little climb after the uphill battle to Vermont Church.  Time to earn that holy water of the Gods.

Holy Water

Cross your fingers that this will be one of our last Draftless rides.

Garmin link: Take Me To Church

PDF map and cue sheet download: Take Me To Church

Wednesday May 5, the draft will get dirty, pending dry trails (it is currently drizzling).  Please click on these links to 1) consult the madcitydirt website for trail conditions, and 2) pay your CORP dues. Mountain bike action starts at Pleasant View trail head at 4:30. We will then ride to Blackhawk east parking lot (ski jump) to round up more Drafters at 5PM. Updates will be posted on GroupMe, NOT the blog.  If you are intereseted in getting dirty and not on GroupMe, let me know.

Skipper, BrickO and Footer get dirty at CamRock.  Well, technically, BrickO is the only one who came in contact with terra firma.  Crash pads have been ordered. 

**NOTE: Hincapie order should ship today. Keep an eye out for an email with FedEx tracking information.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Oops.  I really upped my game this week by including a formal cue sheet.  And then forgot to attach it.  Did I mention my secretary is on furlough?  Or maybe I knocked a screw loose riding the new Saris platform?

In any event, Rockin’ Roxbury v2 is fortuitous as Duchess also had a forgetful  Go Fish moment.

PDF map and cue sheet (for real): Rockin’ Roxbury

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

A half-dozen Drafters decided to Go Fish!  Nothing clever in this post.  Just the bare bones.

Bare Bones Post

Drafter of week goes to Skipper, who racked up another 55miles by extending this route.

Intimidator.  Skipper dares you to Go Fish.

Slow Cow meandered through the the countryside, seeking friends of his own kind rather than fish. Thanks for letting us know you are still out there wandering.

The Rockin’ Roxbury route for next week will be challenging.  Dig deep as you face 3000 feet of climb over epic hills including Enchanted Valley, Katzenbuechel Road and Dunlap Hollow Road. Enjoy the rustic towns and their establishments: Marxville Welding, The Roxbury and Dorf Haus Supper Club.  This is a slighly different route than in previous years, and perhaps the most breathtaking (both in beauty and elevation). The photo destination is the corner of Old Settlers and Dunlap Hollow.

GPS Link: Rockin’ Roxbury

PDF cue sheet and map download: Rockin-_Roxbury

A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Pipes, making it clear past the half century mark.  What you can do once, you can do again (maybe not  two Olmpic medals, and hopefully not the scaphoid fracture with a bike tip-over part).

Pipes flashes her new birthday suit, price tag and all. 

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

What travels over 40 mph and generates less watts than a light bulb? Bob Dylan knows.

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind

No credit can be taken for choosing a route with a tail wind to deliver us home, but I will claim it anyway.  15 Drafters showed Brains and Brawn on a climb that ruthlessly “levels out” at 14% before nipping at the quads with a 15% bite.

Captain Joe shows his true colors before unleashing his brawn on Braun. A few Drafters have room for improvmenet when it comes to showing their true colors. Where’s the green???

Octane remembered his water bottle but forgot his brain bucket. Foiled to conquer Braun, he headed back home and filled his bucket with a double rainbow.

 

We have submitted a funds request for a babysitter in next year’s Drafter Budget.  Dan-yelly and TCB were spotted Drafting together on Monday near their home in Oregon.  Who is watching their children?  And the beer frigde?  It isn’t Longtable, but it is impressive.

Drafter of the Week winner(s) are rich with something much greater than brains or brawn. These sisters bring us pure joy. And a budget increase for that babysitter.

The ride for Monday April 27 will be Go Fish!  My Dad and I used to play that game for hours, until advancing to Crazy 8s and eventually Buck ‘Em.  I no longer play cards.  One trip home from college, I found myself in a bar in my home town of Edgerton, playing Buck ‘Em with a group of guys.  They were loud and obnoxious, and I thought I had more brains (and brawn for that matter) than all of them put together.  Confidently I antied up, placed my bet, and lost more in one hand than I had brought to the table. I slunk to the bar where my Dad was having a beer and asked him to cover my debt.  On the quiet ride home he said only this, “I hope you learned your lesson.”  That I did.  The late great Kenny Rogers heeded the same warning, “You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run.”  I tried that and decided biking was a faster escape. Anyway… back to Go Fish.

The road between Fish and Crystal Lake is still closed, and is the photo destination for the Go Fish! ride. The recon route through Dane to Lee is more scenic that the map below.  Since my secretary is on furlough, we are taking the path more trodden (read: less work to post). Ride whichever route makes your heart sing, so long as your picture is taken in front of the Road Closed barricade.

PDF map to download: Crystal 36

Garmin link: Middleton Hills to Crystal GPS

OTHER RIDING NEWS: if the weather cooperates this Friday, April24, there will be a 50 mile ride to the Rock of Gibraltar departing between 10AM-2PM.  The route will be posted.  It might be fun to see fellow Drafters rocking to and from Gibraltar, riding apart together.

DIRTY DRAFT: with Skipper at the helm, we hope to kick off the Dirty Draft on Wednesdays.  Blackhawk, Pleaseant View and CamRock will be our playgrounds.  Announcments will be made through GroupMe.  If you got dirty in 2019, you are inextricably enlisted.  If you want to get dirty, email or text me.  Please consider joining the Capital Off Road Pathfinders (CORP) if you are going to get dirty. Trail building and maitenance is largely done by volunteers who rely on the support of those enjoying the trails.

CORP link to trail conditions and membership

HINCAPIE Drafter Gear: slight delay.  Look for FedEx shipping info on May 5.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Hair style has never been my strong suit. Recently, my mom cleaned out her basement and came across my K-12 school photos, leaving no doubt that my “style” is unrelated to the recent closing of salons. Undoubtedly, the chlorinated pool where I spent the better part of my early years did not tip the scales in my favor.  Walking to school in 4th grade, I was attacked by a red-winged black bird who claimed the straw on my head for his nest.  Surviving the BIG HAIR 80s as a teenager was painful.  Perms weren’t really a good option.  Thanks to the chemical combination of chlorine and farm well-water, perms left my hair a very unnatural and unsettling shade of orange (and once purple).  My hopes were raise in college when a teammate promised that product would make it come to life.  Defeated after much product, rollers and a curling iron, she said, “I’m sorry.  There is nothing I can do.” A conversation at age 29 is not one to forget: (Stylist) “Your hair will really thicken up when you start taking pre-natal vitamins.” (BrickO) “I am taking pre-natal vitamins.”  (Stylist) “Oh.  Well, when you get pregnant, your hair will really be full.”  (BrickO) “I am 3 months pregnant”.  (Stylist) “Oh.”   Many have tried and failed.

Over the decades, I have come to terms with my fine, thin, straight, drab dishwater color, lifeless hair.  And by that, I mean I have as many hats as I do bikes.  After all, it’s just hair, right?  I have a strong motor, good treads on the tires, an electrical system that only short circuits occasionally- who needs the fancy finishes?   I would check the box for the upgrade if available, but it’s not.  And, for the first time EVER, I’m actually grateful for what sits on my head.  Since there is no salon that can improve my hair lot in life, there is nothing about closure of the salons during the pandemic that can make it worse.  My hair could be the only thing thriving (relatively speaking).

The inspiration for this soliloquy comes from you, my fellow Drafters.  I feel your pain. Thank you for joining me.

 

Phew.  That’s a half hour of entertainment (for myself). Keep those photos coming.Coach Arms- we need one of your new arrival.  Congrats to Arms and Legs on the birth of their daughter!

Draft responsibly,

BrickO