On the first ride with Drafters Pipes said to me: a gold medal, finally
On the second ride with Drafters Columbus said to me: Just how flat is Spring Valley?
On the third ride with Drafters Duchess said to me: Hyer Loop, bad history
On the fourth ride with Drafters Dan-yelly said to me: I’m planning to ride early
On the fifth ride with Drafters Special K said to me: Barlow with one gear, watch me
On the sixth ride with Drafters Flash said to me: No chance Dark Knight will catch me
On the seventh ride with Drafters Rimshot said to me: 3 flats one road Dane County
On the eighth ride with Drafters LuLu said to me: I ride with crazy socks high knee
On the ninth ride with Drafters Coach Arms and Cookie Monster said to me: It’s hard to Draft with a baby
On the tenth ride with Drafters Thing 1 said to me: Can we please rename Kermy?
On the eleventh ride with Drafters Romeo said to me: please push Keez up Bonetti
On the twelfth ride with Drafters Booker J said to me: Garmin mph always twenty three
On the thirteenth ride with Drafters Drone Master said to me: Got some cool photography
On the fourteenth ride with Drafters Duracell, Slinger, Mario and Queenie said to me: So many girls on Team B!
On the fifteenth ride with Drafters Bomber and Belle said to me: Leadboat is cancelled… YIPPIE?
On the sixteenth ride with Drafters Tick Tock and Blurple said to me: Commuted to work and back already
On the seventeenth ride with Drafters Pit Stop said to me: I could use a porta potty
On the eighteenth ride with Drafters Billy Boy and Loose Screw said to me: It’s flatter in Sanibell-E
On the nineteen ride with Drafters Footer and Speedy said to me: Cannibal’s drinks make us woozy
On the twentieth ride with Drafters Hit-the-Wall and Slow Cow said to me: Which road is this supposed to be?
On the twenty-first ride with Drafters Surly said to me: Barlow on a fat tire, it’s easy
On the twenty-second ride with Drafters Gopher said to me: I make a wicked brownie
On the twenty-third ride with Drafters Skipper said to me: Let’s get these Drafters Dirty
On the twenty-fourth ride with Drafters Captain said to me: I’ll host if there’s a debut by Sully
On the twenty-fifth ride with Drafters Ninja and Octane said to me: Funtathalon? Never met but we will see!
On the twenty-sixth ride with Drafters Wampus and Yoda said to me: Here comes the ortho PARTY!
On the twenty-seventh ride with Drafters Hundo and Knievel said to me: Love to ride but bed time is 7:30
One and done for JRad, Han Solo, the Rock, Pres, NBA Cliff, Vilks, Helios, Ditch and Daisy. Einstein came up with a new Drafter formula that calculated beer without a bike variable. Crazy.
Switching holiday themes….
You know Captain and Skipper and Bomber and Z Wrecks Speedy and Footer and Sandlot and Brickson But do you recall The most famous Drafter of all (at least on Dec 25)?
Cookie the Monster-Wille Has a very special day And if you ever saw her You would even say she glows
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cookie Monster!
Merriest wishes, Drafter Family. Here’s to health, happiness, hills and hops in 2021.
The winds were howling on Monday, pushing the Drafters effortlessly north on Black Widow. The A team was restless, deciding to leave before the more “mature” (read: slow) riders. But apparently not as restless as Queenie and Duracell who left mid-afternoon.
Queenie and Duracell hit Dane shortly after noon.A Team: Rimshot, Vintage, Speedy, LuLu, Footer, Gopher and Z Wrecks depart at 4PM
Footer and Speedy looked around at the 4PM foreigners and stepped out of the line up to re-establish the B-team. The A team had a head start, and there was no chance of catching them as Speedy was not feeling so speedy. Well, there wasn’t a chance, period, but who wants to post negativity in the blog?
“You guys go on ahead.”
Blinded by the fame of his Wisconsin State Journal front page press, Skipper was on the beltline before realizing he forgot his shoes. Honoring the No Drafter Left Behind mantra, BrickO waited patiently for Cinderella to retrieve his glass slipper. Honor was only part of the equation. A debt (or two) needed to be paid for times when Skipper was indeed left behind, not out of Drafter misconduct but simple age-related memory loss. Mid-way down Schneider Road two-weeks ago, it occurred to BrickO that perhaps she failed to mention leaving early to Skipper, who rolled in just as the A team was rolling out. Sorry, buddy.
BrickO, Skipper and Octane play catch up.
“I’m going 25mph uphill and pushing 110 Watts. This isn’t going to be good coming home.” No sh*t, BrickO. With Skipper at the helm, the B Team was quickly caught. Granted, they weren’t so speedy given the sinus infection limiting Speedy’s oxygen intake just above survival threshold. She upped the social distancing boundaries exponentially, respectfully leaving Footer to do all the work into the headwind home. “I was downshifting and losing speed on the descent out of Dane. This isn’t right.” said the aerospace engineer, Footer.
Easy come: Skipper, BrickO, Octane, FooterEasy goOctane burns some fuel taking a pull on Lodi-Springfield for Skipper, Footer and Speedy
Footer wasn’t the only one doing wind calculations. Vintage rode clear to the opposite side of the road to politely launch a snot rocket to ensure it landed out of Drafter orbit. The cross-winds were so strong on Woodland that the echelon had to tilt their heads due west in order to keep fluids from draining unilaterally. Did I mention that I’m not good at math???
Despite the wind and blistering pace, Skipper found time capture a wildlife photo. Check out the eagle in the tree behind Skipper’s left shoulder.
The Eagle has landed
This is the first ride in Drafter history where the number of riders (11) was exceeded by the number of beer-drinkers! Belle and Bomber crashed the party bringing gifts of chocolate from Sweden. Or at least from as far away as Ikea. Octane brought a Newbie to drink only. Is that guy smart or what? Drafter handle: Einstein. Gopher brought his wife, Badger, and a couple dozen delicious chocolate mint cookies. LuLu went home to get warm clothes and came back with Columbus. With all the excitement, Skipper had a hard time staying put in his chair. Luckily, the fire stayed put in the pit this week.
Footer, Octane, Speedy (drinking hot tea more than 6 feet away), Z Wrecks, Skipper, Vintage, Columbus, LuLu, Bucky, Gopher and Rimshot. Belle and Bomber soon to arrive.
The wind blew in some good memories for our last Monday night ride, and is much preferred to the rain the previous week which blew our chance to draft and to recognize a few weekend warriors.
The Draft was well represented at the Birkie Trail Run.
Northern Draft: Momma Monster, Footer, Cookie Monster and E$
Footer and E$ were nominated to run two of the 6 relay-legs. With calves like these, the Birkie Trail hills stood little chance.
An anatomy lesson in the superficial posterior compartment.
The other Drafter relay team had a rocky start, as they were registered under two different names: Ambassadors of the Cosmos and Ambassadors of the Clouds. Ultimately, they came together to win the Masters Marathon Relay. #oldladiescouldn’twalkfor2days and #took5oldladiestocover26.2
Nobody dared look to see if there were other teams registered in that division. Please don’t mess with our illusion of grandeur. Pipes added a long-awaited Gold Medal to her collection. She attributed her success to the inspirational singing by her crew during the road trip to Hayward and the hospitality of the Wille Village.
Ambassadors of Something: Ninja, Speedy, Pipes, Pipette, Judge and BrickOOlympic Gold at lastBrickO, Pipes, Ninja, Footer, Cookie Monster, Pensatoio, Millie, Pipette and Speedy at Wille Village
5 Women could barely cover 26.2 miles, and yet a newbie Drafter and friends easily covered the Ultra Marathon.
Columbus discovers more land than the Ambassadors
Back in Dane County, the weather wasn’t so favorable for The RIDE.
Z RIDES strongDuchess, PitStop and Sandlot RIDE 100 in the rainTree of Rown finishes a 70.3 in Racine (Drafter gear hidden beneath cold weather gear)
The Byrds were on to something when they sang, Turn, Turn, Turn.
To everything (turn, turn, turn) There is a season (turn, turn, turn) And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to wear green, a time to climb A time to pull, a time to sweep A time to draft, time on a wheel A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn) There is a season (turn, turn, turn) And a time to every purpose, under heaven
A time to drink up, a time to break down A time to attack, a time to get dropped A time to ride all alone, a time to gather miles together
That time is Saturday, Oct 10. It is time to celebrate the season turn, turn, turn. The last official Drafter Fondo 2020 offers 3 routes: Gran, Medio and Picolo (borrowing terms from the Hincapie Fondo). A small gathering with social distancing is to follow. Please bring a lawn chair, beer and whatever sustenance you need. There are a few awards to be given, although to be honest, 2 of the 4 recipients of the “big awards” aren’t able to attend, and the prizes for those riding more than 10 times have been delayed. So don’t forget the beer as that will be the focal point of the gala. A large cooler with ice will be out back, if you want to leave beer to chill before the ride.
The Gran 53 mile Rock of Gibraltar will depart at 11:45AM.
Every season turn, turn, turn… the Draft may be ending, but the Dirty Draft is still in season! Join us tonight at Blackhawk: 4PM family time, big boys riding at 5PM.
Dirty Draft family style
Looking for a capstone event (or any event) in addition to the Drafter Fondo to wrap up the season? Check out the Ironbull Gravel Grinder 140, 85, 50 and 12 mile routes.
An unintentional blending of the A and B teams occurred on Monday. Tom. Collins; Corona. Lime; Brandy. Old Fashioned; Dark. Beer; Whiskey. More. These are natural couplings. A and B teams. 23 Drafters. Not so much. When Cannibal announced that the A team would be leaving at 4:45, most mortals translated that message to mean the B team should leave at 4:30 or earlier.
B Team Roll Out: Thing 1, Z Wrecks, Sandlot, Duchess, Captain Joe, Queenie, Speedy, Pit Stop, C Monster and Footer
Skipper’s translator must have been out on his new ski boat. He showed up as the A team was gearing up. “Sh*t. It’s just 4 fast old guys and me.” Good to differentiate by age and speed. Cannibal, Rimshot, Blurple and Booker J were a blur before long.
4 Old Fast Guys and Me
Where are they?
Our professional team photographer, Drone Master, was on site to capture the essence of the Draft. Except he missed BrickO and Z Wrecks. When you help build something solid, it can stand alone, without you. That mature and worldly statement came after intense sensitivity training (remedial) provided by Cannibal and Company. Discount Code: lil fkrz.
Rimshot slingshots to the front
Duchess, “Why does it look like I’m suffering going DOWNHILL???”
Duchess, per us, struggled with more than just the ride. While Skipper’s translator was altogether absent, Duchess’s Garmin was translating the route in Suomi, a Finnish language not common in Dane County. Skipper, wanting to redeem himself in the art of translation, offered up “gelande quaffing“. Intrigued without knowing exactly what that entailed (sounds like a decadent dessert), Sandlot asked Duchess if he would like to head home and have some. Duchess, no longer showing any signs of suffering, quickly accepted the invitation. Side note: this blog is powered by PowerDot, the smart electrical muscle stimulator, with performance enhancement and improved recovery settings.
Gelande Quaffing
The evening was rowdy. The lawn caught fire, which was a definite improvement over the smoke two weeks ago prompting an air quality index alert for Glacier Ridge Rd. Skipper brought his favorite beer to share, a curious construct of habanero and cinnamon. Blurple was the Master Sampler, eagerly accepting Skipper’s Mayan Mocha Stout and a sip of my Big Bad Baptist. The professor had class at 9:30PM. We will be reviewing his performance next week. I think there is a PowerDot setting for that, as well.
Not everyone opted for habanero and cinnamon beer.
Recovery drinks WISCO style: Hamms and chocolate milk.
Speedy heated things up dancing around the ring of fire, and hubby Duracell got down to his socks.
Gopher returned for his second Drafter appearance. He failed to bring his famous brownies, but brought something even sweeter.
Sweeter than brownies
Speaking of sweet things, Cookie Monster showed up for her second ride of the season, multitasking to make it happen.
Pres made his first Drafter appearance of the 2020 season. He bought an official Drafters jersey on ebay. Who knew that was possible??
Pres comes to town
If ebay doesn’t have what you are looking for, the Hincapie store is giving us one last opportunity to buy Drafter gear. Store closes Sun Oct 4 at midnight. Do not use the discount code noted above.
North of the lawn and ring of fire… Congrats to the Chequamegon 40 finishers!
Bomber, Belle, Thing 1 and Vintage at the Cheq 40
Next week we will head towards Lodi, abbreviating the route to honor the Sun Gods who are taking a bit more each day. Black Hill is a killer. But fun. The route is 28miles, so we need to hustle. If possible, B team 4:15 wheels up, with the A team giving a wide berth with a 4:45 departure, and Skipper somewhere in between. If enough folks can continue to leave early, we will keep Drafting into early October. Be nice to hit Easy Street and Riley Tavern 25 mile routes before we call it quits. Please check your email for a Survey Monkey concerning the Drafter Year End Gala on Oct 10th or 11th. Prizes and beverages will be served.
In summary of Cannibal’s 2000+ feet run up Timber, Barlow, Mineral Point, Witte, and oh yeah, Timber again… he’s sweet but he’s psycho. A taste of my own medicine, perhaps? So grateful for another Drafter to craft a route and host the shindig afterwards, I barely complained. Define barely: the interval of time after 1000 feet of climb and before 2 garden drinks and 4 monster cookies. Ava Max said it best: Sweet But Psycho
Oh, he’s sweet but a psycho
A little bit psycho
Monday night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma hill’s a grind”
Oh, gin drinks but a psycho
So green but it’s right though
At night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma hill’s a grind”
He’ll make you climb, cause he’s Cannibal
He’ll rip your Strava within a second
You’ll be coming back, back for seconds
In your dinner plate, you just can’t help it
No, no, you’ll ride along
Let him lead you o-, o-, on
You’ll be saying, “No, no”
Then saying, “Yes, yes, yes”
‘Cause he messin’ with your head
Oh, he’s sweet but a psycho
A little bit psycho
Monday night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma hill’s a grind”
Oh, gin drinks but a psycho
So green but it’s right though
At night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma out my mind”
The B Team fueld up for Cannibal’s Run with help from a fresh baked batch of cookies delivered just in time by Cookie and lil’ Monster.
Cookie and Lil’ Monster
B Team Fueled Up
Footer, Belle, Speedy, BrickO, Queenie, Duracell and Loose Screw stayed together for all of 10 minutes. By the end of Midtown Road, the B team was minus Queenie and Footer. There was report of Queenie joining the Flat Tire Club,with Footer dutifully executing her Drafter duty of lending mechanical and emotional support. The remaining B team reviewed the Drafter bylaws (always good to have an attorney present- thanks, Belle) and unanimously voted it was appropriate to pedal on. Why stop at one? If you are going to join the Flat Tire Club, go big or go home with as many tubes you can secure from the B and A team members. The A Team was hungry like the wolf, catching the B team in record time. Speedy yelled, “Car back!”, mistaking the sound of the fast moving A team machine for a motor vehicle.
Queenie joins the club
Second flat conveniently at Riley Tavern
The A Team dropped a tube for Queenie. They were in a dropping sort of mood. Averaging 23mph until Barlow, Cannibal announced, “let’s stick together.” LuLu called BS and Vintage opted not to listen to the command. In fact, LuLu and Vintage were rogue from the start, opting to ride from Middleton to Cannibal’s beautiful house in the woods as a “warm-up”.
A Team: Booker J, Cannibal, Rimshot and Bomber (LuLu and Vintage warming up)
The A team cannibalized one another, pushing the limits of quadriceps power. The destruction was clear by the conversation afterward. LuLu: My legs are tingling. Rimshot’s Garmin indicated that he required 41 hours of recovery. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go into work tomorrow.” Booker J’s Garmin recovery forecast wasn’t so ominous, perhaps because it curiously continuously registers 17mph. While that is a favorable report climbing Barlow, relatively speaking that meant the rest of the A team had to be climbing over 40mph. “I thought I would die here on Barlow, alone.” In the throes of desperation he was seen kicking at his derailleur and throwing a water bottle at his chain, hoping for a mechanical issue that would invoke the Drafter code and temporarily cease the climbing pain.
Booker J decided to contact Garmin with a complaint: “Dear Garmin. You suck.” To which Garmin responded: “Dear Booker J. Please remove the protective sticker from the Garmin screen and you may notice the numbers changing.”
The Drafter Board is considering sensitivity training for all members. The A team, as rough and tumbly as they appear, have feelings, too. Rimshot, in a moment of vulnerability, expressed sadness over not being included in GroupMe. While an unintentional oversight by the IT department, it also came to our attention that he also feels some sadness when not mentioned in the blog. Rimshot is much nicer than he looks. A reminder that one cannot judge a book by its cover.
The Drafters were treated to the generous hospitality of Cannibal, his wife (who needed tube educated on the n+1 rule) and 3 German Shepherds, and fresh baked cookies by Cookie Monster. Belle was particularly taken with the house and hospitality. “Do you think they’ll mind if I move in? I can sleep with the dogs.” Mind you, they each have a very inviting bed with a killer view of the woods. Dances with Wolves, Sleeps with Dogs. Sounds like a Kevin Costner movie.
Vintage doubles up on monster cookies
Speedy does the math: half a Solo cup = half the alcohol content
Speedy, Z Wrecks, Queenie, Booker J, Footer, Rimshot, Jen, Bomber, Belle, Loose Screw and Duracell enjoy garden drinks by Cannibal (LuLu and Vintage already departed on their bike ride home)
Late but not forgotten, Dan-yelly rolled in just after sunset. “It is a bit eerie out here riding after dark.” Talk about dancing with wolves!
Dan-yelly feasting after a hard solo ride
The days are getting shorter and so will the rides. Next week we will sip a Tom Collins, a short 28 mile route. There is an option to take the bike path home after crossing Hwy 12, shortening the route to 25 miles. Staggered start per norm, 4:30, 4:43 and 5:00PM departures. Pizza and ring of fire to follow.
The Dirty Draft has had a run of bad weather. The sun finally cooperated. Great to see Octane and his buddy Rudy, Stout and his buddy Mike, Speedy and kiddos at Blackhawk yesterday. Reminder that Blackhawk membership is required to ride and registration is open: Link for Registration.
It is nothing compared to the Tour de France stage 15 many of us watched this morning. But we are not Pogacar. We will suffer like Bernal. And like it.
I’m taking the liberty to cannibalize the blog for the sole purpose of celebrating my daughter’s first triathlon today. Due to Covid, I declined the 9 hour round trip to witness 1:24 of her glory, but I was there in spirit. First collegiate female, 4th overall female!
Full of pride, I had some emotional bandwidth left to revisit my first sprint triathlon, also during my senior year of college, with my PT classmate and lifelong friend. What I remember most clearly is that her helmet was on backwards during the bike leg. Helmets were a bit different back then- much harder to tell the front from the back of a dome that sat a foot above your skull. The equipment has come a long way, but the feeling is the same ….
Pre-race jitters
Post-race euphoria
Check out the aero helmets in 1992. And the aero bars on my Giant. Nevermind the Umbro shorts.
The last ride in August was perhaps the most scenic. Pleasant Valley and Old Indian were new to many Drafters, but riding them felt as old as time itself. The staggered start for this 40 mile adventure spread out 16 Drafters, but all came together at the Ring of Fire.
B Team: Queenie, Speedy and FooterB Team showing a little leg at Church
Ring of Fire may have you thinking of the Man in Black, but you should be thinking about the US Forest Service.
With a Drafter’s hat and bottle, and a kit of Hincap-ies you will
find him on Glacier Ridge always sniffin’ at the breeze. People
stop and pay attention when he tells em’ to be-ware, ‘cause
ev’-ry-bo-dy knows that he’s the fire pre-ventin’ Chair.
You can take a tip from Speedy and there’s nothin’ like a blow, cause they’re
good for spreading Covid and igniting flames real slow, you just
have to look a-round you and you’ll find it’s not a joke, to
see what you’d be mis-sin’ if you weren’t blinded by the smoke.
You can call upon the Bomber and he’ll make you feel the heat, you won’t
cough and choke and tear up any -more, you won’t retreat. He will
let you take his pizza and pre-tend he’s not so smart, but
don’t you dis his fire for he has Pyro in his heart.
Smokey in his ChairBlow Speedy, Blow!Footer, Vintage, Thing 1, Bomber, Captain & Tennille, Queenie, Rimshot, Blurple, Cannibal, Speedy, Booker J, Belle, Z Wrecks and Hit-the-Wall around the Ring of Fire. Finally.
NO RIDE ORGANIZED DRAFTER LABOR DAY. The following Monday, Sept 14, we will be departing from Cannibal’s house between 4:30 and 5PM. Garden drinks will be provided. The route looks to be roughly 25miles. Check GroupMe for the address and hopefully cue sheet/map/GPS link will be provided before the gin.
The Lovin’ Spoonful had words for our Waunakee Warriors Ride:
Hot ride, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Hyslop, isn’t it a pity
Doesn’t seem to be a shadow in the city
All around, people looking Covid
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter with a mask head
But at night it’s a different world
Ride back and grab a beer
Come-on come-on and draft all night
Despite the heat it’ll be alright
We had the biggest turnout of the season, with 2 dozens Drafters baking in the sun and another 4 who rode a full day early to beat the heat.
Sunday riders included Bomber and Bell, and Duchess and Sandlot, who rode the Trek 100 the day before and still had enough strength to strike a Warrior Pose.
Duchess and Sandlot taking the Warrior ride seriously
Belle and Bomber beating the heat on Easy St
Two dozen Drafters weren’t the only thing baking on Monday. Gopher had been busy in the kitchen. Sensitive to Cookie Monster’s contributions the previous week, and not wanting to step on her oven mitts, he baked brownies for the Drafters.
The Drafters dug into Gopher’s brownies
Covid is also heating up, so we took extra measures to social distance. Captain Joe once again pulled a Captain Solo, riding at noon. Small chance the virus could do anything but waive a white flag in the heat of the day.
Captain Solo riding at high noon.
Columbus set sail at 4:10, with college roomie, good friend and Newbie Daisy. Not too many living things thrive in direct sun, but this flower could be one.
The B teams divided up and set off around 4:30.
B-2: Loose Screw, Pit Stop, Speedy and Footer
The B-1 team included Newbie Helios. When you ride on the hotest Monday of the year… on a gravel bike… and bring the heat, you earn the titel of Greek God of the Sun.
B-1: Slinger, Z Wrecks, Billy Boy and Helios (Gopher awaits the A-2 team). Duracell joined the B-1 Draft on Balzer. Billy Boy separates from the B team when he takes a left on Johnson.
Dan-yelly towed the line for the 4:43 group, while the A team further subdivided into A- (BrickO, Skipper, LuLu and Gopher) and A+ (Cannibal, Blurple, Rimshot and Booker J) teams.
A- team: Gopher, LuLu, BrickO (photo by Skipper).
BrickO promised Gopher the ride was going to be “pretty flat”. After Viaduct and Cuba Valley, the MI native realized, “We aren’t in Detroit anymore.” There was more elevation change leaving Middleton Hills than in the entire Motor City.
Late to the party: Vintage and Thing 1 rode the course backwards, meeting up with the A- team on Cuba Valley. Tick Tock staggered from home, while Octane gased up undetected.
Vintage does a U-turn to join the A- team.
We all rode apart but came together, within limits, for pizza, beer and Gopher’s brownies.
Last Wednesday was the biggest Dirty Draft turn-out. 7 Drafters enjoyed the amazing trail upgrades at Blackhawk. Huge thanks to Skipper for breaking trail and taking action photos.
Footer, Stout, LuLu, BrickO, Slinger and Octane (photo compliments of Skipper)
Footer
Octane
LuLu
BrickO
Slinger
Stout
To closeout the month August, we will go long. *** B Team START AT 4PM. Other Drafters stagger at 4:15 (A-) and 4:45 (A+). A short pour is always an option when ordering your Draft. If you come at 5PM and want to ride the full 40 mile route, go for it.
This is a new route, or at least two new roads incorporated into the existing Back Door to Church route. Pleasant Valley and Old Indian are beauties. It isn’t always Pleasant Getting Old, but I thought combining these two roads wasn’t a bad way to spend a day in the second half of my century.
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