Ten Drafters set forth on the Ride of Ages, with the skies looking ominous and a few raindrops biding their warning as we headed towards Dane. Mother Nature must have taken our GPS coordinates and planned her precipitation route to precede our arrival at every turn. We didn’t get wet, but we were literally drafting the rain, finding each road ahead more saturated than the last. The capstone event was climbing Pheasant Branch and seeing the setting sun in all of its pink, orange, and yellow glory. We had a few new Drafters this week, including a deer and 3 confused cranes, who joined us briefly.
CM Wille brought her famous Monster Cookies to celebrate the birthdays of Loose Screw, Billy Boy McC and Tobacco City Boy. In fact, she brought enough for all of us to enjoy two, and still left have overs! I was careful to consume only the low calorie monster cookies. We also celebrated the return of her fiancee, E-Money. Eamon will be Drafting for the next 5 weeks while he applies for residency positions. He commented that paying for medical school and residency interviews is a bit like playing with Monopoly money- you just keep spending and hope you draw a Chance card with a big payout.
CM is responsible for the video below, which was intended to be a delayed selfie. The slow motion gait analysis at the end is worth the watch.
Loose Screw, Billy Boy, BrickO, Z, Capt Joe, Arms, Tobacco City Boy, Hit-the-Wall, E-Money and CM Wille
Congrats to LuciO on her podium finish in CO. Check out the Drafter socks.
“It really came down to the socks in the end”
Key announcements:
No ride on Labor Day. I will post the ride for Sept 11 next week. We will need to keep the miles under 30 due to lack of daylight.
Yoga for the Cyclist with 2x Olympic medalist Karen Kraft Rigsby starts Mon Sept 11, 6AM. Email her for details and to sign up: karenkraftrigsby@gmail.com
Spin begins the end of October. Email me to confirm your spot.
Look for your Drafter jersey order to be sent on Sept 6. I will email you with FedEx shipping numbers.
Historically, the Draft is the highlight of my Monday routine. I dare say, however, that I missed the No Brains All Brawn ride in lieu of an opportunity to experience the Solar Eclipse in OR. A complete sensory and spiritual experience, indescribable with words, at least with my literary limitations. Z and I thought we might have a shot at winning the Outrageous Drafter photo competition, ousting Arms and Legs from their African Safari post, but taking a photograph of the eclipse with us in Drafter gear while holding a lead shield proved too great of a task for an amateur selfie-photographer. And during totality, well, it was just plain dark. These will have to suffice- neither Drafter gear nor the Eclipse are visible, so I will acquiesce that my photo submission ranking remains at ground zero.
The Eclipse trip was definitely a rich experience, including the food and beverage service. Unfortunately, anticipation doesn’t burn many calories. In an effort to come home wearing the same size clothes in which we departed, Z rented a bike and conquered Mt. Bachelor.
The Bachelor? No, no. I said Mt. Bachelor.
Enough about the Eclipse. Let’s circle back to the Draft. One of the most outstanding attributes of the Drafters is the number of generations we span. If my math is correct (never a good assumption), we have over a 40 year spread between our matriarch, Sully, and the youngins. With that, I am quite sure that Monday’s Ride of Ages, with reference to Rock of Ages will escape those in diapers during the Big Hair 80’s music scene. If you will allow me to pen my stream of consciousness during my reconnaissance mission yesterday, I will try to make the name relevant.
In search of a route to suite our 30ish mile hilly criteria, I headed north, but stayed south of the lakes (Fish and Crystal). As I began to climb my way up Bitney, Buethin, Brereton, an alliteration from the Def Leppard Song Rock of Ages resonated in my brain (or whatever matter occupies the space between by ears): Gunter Glieben Glauchen Globen. And so it stuck for the remainder of my recon.
Gunter Glieben Glauchen Globen.
All right.
I got something’ to say.
Yeah, it’s better to burn out.
Yeah, than fade away.
All right
Over, and over, and over again in my head. One of the many beautiful things about music is it’s ability to connect you with a place and time. One note from Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ and I remember the dress I borrowed from my cousin to wear to Prom (the rest I have conveniently forgotten). And then there’s Quiet Riot’s Come on Feel the Noise, the concert which earned me a spot on Dane County Sheriff’s finest list. And let’s not forget Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer, our pre-game locker room decibel barrier song. Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart- relevant for my recent trip, and also eerily descriptive of my high school and college dating history. Once my gray matter retreated into the 80s, I remained there for some time.
It occurred to me that my passion for riding really stemmed from those early teen, formative Big Hair years. I didn’t/don’t do big hair. To be fair, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Did you know that blonde hair (or dishwater blah in my case) often lacks the central protein with amino acids that form disulfides bonds that promote curls? Yup. True that. I have zero disulfide bonds. And so I found it convenient to have a helmet on my head as often as possible. I grew up on a farm, literally born in a barn (technically a milking parlor which my parents converted and named the Cow Palace), a few miles south of the roads we Draft. My primary form of entertainment came from my uncles, Numa, Kent and John Boy, who were cycle enthusiasts. Only these cycles had motors and studded tires to deal with racing on the ice in the winter months. My mom insisted that I wear a helmet, Irish setter boots and a jean jacket, regardless of temperature. It is no wonder that my first crush was on Evel Knievel (I gave up my crush on Mark Spitz when I didn’t make the A relay at my YMCA swim team- too painful). Motorcycling offered me freedom- a helmet to cover my head, noise to block out all the distractions, and speed to make me feel alive. I sold my motorcycle in the mid 90’s to buy my first bike, a shiny red Kestrel. It offers much the same freedoms, minus some but not all of the risks we take on the road (please ride with LED blinky lights). The boys still have their toys, and I highly recommend studding up the tires and taking a lap on the frozen H2O, if you ever get a chance.
Numa and John Boy
T for Taylor
How’s that for stream of consciousness during recon? I bet you’re relieved it was only a 30mile route. Can you imagine what goes on in my head during a century? Scary. The Eclipse has me a bit reflective and way sentimental. Life is good, even when it sucks. I’m grateful for being born in a barn, for my family, for the mentors and opportunities I’ve had, and honestly, for the Draft. You guys are the Rock of Ages.
Let’s ride. The Ride of Ages is 30 from our house, so add a few extra from Free House. The short pour could be a shortcut by turning left onto Fellows road (see yellow dotted line on map), or if you wanted to ride clock wise, you could do the Hyer Loop. The shot could take the Hyer Loop with the bike path home.
The sports page of the Drafter Gazette is loaded this week! Congrats to the following Drafters on their various adventures:
Vilker and MegaWatt took advantage of the glorious weather on Saturday to explore 300k of Wisconsin’s finest hills. The longest event in the Dairyland Dare was no match for these two Drafters. Vilks finished third overall with a time of 11:41:31. MegaWatt decided to use more of the allotted time and rest stop hospitality, finishing strong as the clean up crew cheered him on. Z and BrickO took the more leisurely 150k route. They had intended to ride a more substantial distance, but once they realized the finisher shirts did not delineate the distances ranging from 50 to 300k, they lost motivation. BrickO was whining incessantly about lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion subsequent to dropping her eldest offspring off at the dorm the day before. She claims there weren’t tears in her eyes during the DLD, only sweat (hard to do that in 70 degrees and no humidity but let’s cut a little slack here).
Half way to an empty nest
Loose Screw fought the mountain and the mountain fought back, hard. The Leadville 100 is not for the meek. If they do inherent the earth, I’m quite sure it won’t include the 100 miles of the Colorado Rockies terrain ranging from 10,152 to 12,424 elevations.
Loose Screw battles hard at Leadville. The jersey isn’t the only thing green.
B2 Bomber found slightly less elevation to do a mountain bike race, but still incredibly challenging. Congrats on rocking Ore to Shore 48 mile Hard Rock event in Marquette, MI.
MI was a popular destination for Drafters this weekend. CM Wille knocked 28min off her 70.3 PR at the Steelhead triathlon in Benton Harbor on Sunday. Despite the sleep deprivation that comes with parenthood, Coach Cindi Bannink was on her A game, pushing CM to a 5:33:03 finish. Wow.
Cookie Monster Wille has gas left in the tank
A dozen Drafters boldly set off last night, despite as many raindrops which began to fall at precisely 5:28PM. L-Mac allegedly experienced derailleur failure and was forced to withdraw from the Draft. This claim falls under suspicious circumstances, as the equipment malfunction occurred near Docter Evergreens, where L-Mac has been known to frequent for hiking and beer drinking festivities.
I trust the group can find their way next week without me, as I will be Solar Eclipsing in Bend, OR. To ensure success, I have chosen a route that requires No Brains and All Braun/Brawn. Tobacco City Boy and Dan-yelly can’t even get lost (congrats to both of you on a successful Indian Lake Extended route last evening).
For drone coverage of previous episodes, please visit the Drone Master’s webpage at: Drone Master Video
5 Kingdumbs in WesteroWIS
14 Drafters from 5 Kingdumbs joined forces on Monday night to win the battle against the Flat Tire Walkers. Deflation is coming. Any history of war between the 5 Bone Mender Kings was cast aside for the greater good of the Drafters.
Kingdom of the Rock and Flat Tire, ruled by Rainbow Maker
Kingdom of the Mountain and Strava Segments, ruled by One Hip Wonder
Kingdom of the Isles, Rivers and Cancelled Swims, ruled by Aquaphobe
Kingdom of the Wrong Turns, ruled by Hit-The-Woll
Kingdom of Ukrainelands, ruled by Z
Rainbow Maker was looking a bit green heading into the glacier ridges of Kahl Road. In part, this was due to shielding BrickO’s friendly fire, as she failed to observe the wind direction before executing her farm girl discharge maneuver. Distracted by the friendly fire, Rainbow Maker rode over a landmine of pot holes, blowing a tire on his Cervelo war machine. The reverberations that ensued enhanced the green hues in Rainbow Maker’s spectrum.
Fire breathing flies were ferociously attacking the cycling warriors as they waited for Rainbow Maker to repair the damages. Apparently, he is pretty green when it comes to changing flats as well. In a rare call for help, Rainbow Maker cried out to his resident, “I could replace a hip faster than I can change this flat.” No doubt or argument there.
Fire Breathing Flies on an otherwise gorgeous glacier ridge
A surgeon with a tire iron and no power tools discovered that replacing a tube takes longer than replacing a joint.
In the true spirit of the Bone Menders alliance, leaders of the 5 Kingdumbs rushed to assist with flat tire repairs. 5 sets of hands all working together independently. We grew cold and hungry waiting- not easy to do in August, but we exceeded expectations.
It takes a Kingdumb to keep the Drafters rolling.
The Flat Tire Walkers and fire breathing flies were not the only adversity the Drafters faced that evening. Seemingly, the Map of WesteroWIS had been sabotaged. One Hip Wonder, a red-shirt pre-schooler, could not discriminate between R and L such that every turn was decidedly right. Team Tobacco City didn’t even bring a map, and subsequently had no recollection of the battle fought on Far View Rd. Can’t take a wrong turn if you don’t know where you are going. Edgerton breeds some clever boys. It is no wonder we only have one stop light in our home town. Aquaphobe failed to head the steep grade warning on Turkey Rd and toppled over. This incident would have gone unnoticed by the Drafters, save the black spot on his shining forehead. Given that Ash Wednesday doesn’t fall on a Monday in August, we were quick to deduce the cause of the dark mark. Drone Master had a different map altogether- one that included a secret passage with a direct route to the cask and ale.
Fully inflated, the Drafters sped down Schneider in a pace line that averaged 30mph. Zika was pumped up with stories of pulling Lance Armstrong at RAGBRAI last week, which inspired the blistering pace. The Free House was glowing under the full Sturgeon Moon as we rolled in having defeated the Flat Tire Walkers, fire breathing flies, and navigational ineptitudes. Also glowing in the moonlight was Sully, dutifully holding down the fort and ordering beers for the thirsty troops. News correspondent Tobacoo City Cousin reported that all golf courses within a 100 mile radius had agreed to shut down Monday evening to ensure Sully reenlisted in the Draft. Winter is coming, but Sully has a date with the Green Walkers of AZ.
Tobacco City Boy, Sully, CM Wille, Human Metronome, One Hip Wonder, Mega and KiloWatt, LuciO, Tobacco City Cousin, Z, Aquaphobe, Zika and Drone MasterSturgeon Moon over Free House
We had the moon to guide us home, but next week we should rely on daylight. The routes will start to shorten, this one less than 35 to Indian Lake. The Short Pour takes the bike path home after crossing the Highway, near Rauls Rd. The the Flat Tire Walkers should strike again, we might all be taking the bike path home. I did recon today and discovered that Hwy 19 at Indian Lake is still closed to through traffic. This is perfect as there should be minimal car traffic.
Take me to church. The 17% climb to Vermont Church was breathtaking, literally. Equally breathtaking FOSHO was the most beautiful descent in Dane County (in my humble opinion) on Forshaug Road. It could easily be mistaken for somewhere in the south of France (minus the vineyards- but I’m a beer girl anyway). I regret not snapping a photo of 11 Drafters at this scenic location but it was too painful to stop ascending, and too beautiful to stop descending. I was hypoxic, gasping at any available molecule of oxygen on the ascent. The few extra ATPs required to fetch the iPhone from my jersey pocket would have resulted in rigor. I’m filing a formal complaint against all things Strava and this time B2 Bomber isn’t the guilty party. Vilks showed up with a 70s mustache and as much horsepower to crush several Strava segment leader boards. Side note: I apparently have a Strava account, but please don’t friend me or follow me, message me, or whatever the heck people do on Strava since I have accumulated zero miles- dang technology eludes me.
That’s a big W.
I wouldn’t be surprised if we all come with 70s mustaches next week in a quest for more horsepower. There seems to be a correlation.
Steve Prefontaine
Tom Selleck Magnum PI
Jeff Vilker
Vilks hurt all of us, an equal opportunity suffering lender for quadriceps and egos alike. One Hip Wonder, who stayed in contention for the Strava victory with Vilks, seemed to escape the pain until leaving church. He whimpered, “do you have anything absorbent?” Sort of an odd question coming from a member of the XY chromosomal camp. And then I noticed his nose bleeding, and the impact of the altitude at church became apparent. Luckily, Z is not only a Bone Mender, but an expert in herbal medicine. A few purple clover plants inserted gently and precisely in the nasal cavity and One Hip Wonder was good to go. Best quote of the night, by far, came from One Hip Wonder after receiving his herbal remedy: “I was going to challenge Vilks up that climb, but I’m too hypoxic due to this nose bleed.”
Take Me To Church: Z, Vilks, D2, Ivy Ice Queen (hidden for not forgotten), Rainbow Maker, Tobacco City Boy, Billy Boy, CM Wille, One Hip Wonder, Tobacco City Cousin. Photo by BrickO
There was much excitement beyond church. Rick earned his big boy Drafter handle, “Pres“, after entering this photo from his recent trip to Mount Rushmore.
Mt Draftmore“Pres”
Pres wasn’t the only Drafter rushing up the mountains last week. A shout out to K2 who continues to dominate the trail running leader board in Oregon. I also enjoyed a trail expedition, but on a bike with my daughter, who is rushing at Iowa State next week. I’m more concerned about dehydration due to substation loss of fluid through tears than I am hypoxia. I have red blood cells to spare, but am in need of Kleenex (preferably with lotion).
Shout it out
An add for ISU or Kleenex?
Speaking of altitude, the Drafter photo competition climbed to another level. CM Wille got inked! WKOW Channel 27’s Tobacco City Cousin lost the story of local glory to the Washburn County Register. Sales at SweatVac have reached as all time high as cyclists and triathletes alike are seeking to duplicate Cookie Monster’s fashionable Drafter head band, which contributed greatly to her success (as did Coach Cindi Bannink). It is essential to keep sweat out of your eyes. Read on further to learn what can happen to those who don’t heed the head band recommendation.
Loose Screw suffered more cerebral damage during the last yoga session in July. During a challenging triangle pose, Loose Screw experienced an unscripted free fall maneuver, reportedly due to a stray sweat bead that temporarily blurred his vision. Loose Screw denied that the crash was related to balance or flexibility impairments. Helmets and headbands will be required in forthcoming yoga sessions. Perhaps his free fall pose was part of his preparation for the upcoming Leadville 100 event. Good luck and Nama stay alive.
On that note: Yoga II will be coming soon to a VFW near you after Labor Day, not in Aug as previously, prematurely and erroneously announced by me. Sorry. My bad.
Warning: Read the label. Confusion. It is inevitable, but I would like to point out that some confusion is easily avoidable. Without sharing the details, I will simply put on display two essential cycling accessories and let you draw your own conclusions as to my displeasure with packaging.
Similar containers butt very different application locations.
This week, we are headed to Spring Valley (I’m trying to lure B2 Bomber into a Strava challenge up Enchanted Valley with One Hip Wonder and Vilks). There is a little northern twist from our usual route, roughly 36 miles. There is a splendid Short Pour route that cuts off on Pine, which is roughly 27 miles.
Sweet Sixteen. That’s how many Drafters drafted on an epic Monday night, void of rain, humidity and bugs (well, 2 outta 3 ain’t bad). Team DeKeyser reenlisted in the Draft. The Ivy League Ice Queen and hubby, D2, were jamming as Newbie Back Beat Bob played some tunes for all Drafters to enjoy. That’s a first for this group.
Did you know there’s a song by Hilary Duff titled Sweet 16? The lyrics need no modification.
Today I’m gonna ride away
And feel the sun throughout my hair
Finally free to be who I want to be
Who that is I don’t really care
‘Cause I’ve got friends who love me
Blue skies are above me
My blonde hair is everywhere
A quick pause in Lodi to enjoy Back Beat Bob’s tunes.Sweet 16: Drone Master, Human Metronome, LuciO, Billy Boy McC, Z, Back Beat Bob, 1 Hip Wonder, Hit-The-Wall, Ivy Ice Queen, Zika, Loose Screw, CM Wille. Dan-yelly and Tobacco City Boy still on the road.
Round Two of Yoga is tentatively scheduled to start Monday Aug 14. I need your help completing the following survey in order to gauge interest for this and an additional class. Namaste.
DEADLINE for jersey orders is today, Wednesday July 26. If you have questions about sizes, length of shorts, etc, you can email Meredith or shoot me an email.
We will wrap up July with one more 40mile ride. Day light hours will be shorter in August, and our mileage will have to follow suit. The Vermont Church 40 miler is a segment from the Horribly Hilly Hundreds. The Short Pour is 30 miles (yellow line).
I just received intel that the bridge on Lodi-Springfield, just north of P and south of Rauls Rd, is closed. My recon mission Thur confirmed that this segment was officially closed to through traffic, but easily traversable. Apparently, some menacing, ridiculously out-of-season orange snow fencing has recently been placed around said bridge segment to reinforce the concept of “bridge out”. Huh. And so, we are on to plan B. As posted previously, the Lodi Canning counter-clock-wise route has us heading home on Lodi-Springfield Rd. Please divert and turn LEFT on KURT Road, LEFT on P, RIGHT/Straight on Stevenson, and then RIGHT on Hyslop. From there, pick up your breadcrumb trail back to to the Free House.
There is no official short pour ride tonight due to leaders being on the injured reserve list or vacation. However, you can always ride the short pour on your own! Given the road closure, I recommend Dane out and back.
CAUTION: Map does not show bridge out. Follow these instructions: head home on Lodi-Springfield Rd, LEFT on KURT Road, LEFT on P, RIGHT/Straight on Stevenson, and then RIGHT on Hyslop. Short Pour: Dane out and back.
I’m so delighted to have this additional opportunity to share some race headlines from the weekend: Chris Froome. CM Wille. ESPN’s coverage of the Tour de France was interrupted Saturday morning as reporters fled to northern WI to catch the action at the Shell Lake Sprint Triathlon.
1st Overall Female and 1st 60-69 Young
CM and Momma Wille dominated the race, with CM taking first overall female and Momma Wille winning the 60-69 year-young age group. CM is well-coached by Cindi Bannink, and well yogi’d by former two time Olympian Karen Rigsby. There was a great Drafter showing of yoga champions this morning, wrapping up our last class of this session.
Namaste. Wallpaper samples out of stock since 1970
We will resume Yoga on Monday Aug 14th at 6:15AM. Look for a survey about adding an additional class! If you’d like to join, please contact Karen at karenkraftrigsby@gmail.com
Tonight looks to be perfect riding and beer drinking weather. The patio was open last Monday and we will be out again, so dress appropriately (dare I say no rain and a little chill in the air).
Table for 12. LuciO, Hit-The-Wall, Z, Loose Screw, B2 Bomber, Tobacco City Cousin, Dan-yelly, Tobacco City Boy, Ryan from Supreme, Arms and Drone Master. Photo by BrickO.
The Hincapie Order will include sleeveless jerseys (go guns)! The artwork won’t be up on the website until next week, but you CAN order now. The style will be “AXIS race cut”, which is more loose fitting than Velocity race cut, but tighter than the AXIS club cut (for those of you who ordered that style in the spring).
I know that some cyclists find sleeveless jerseys a bit unorthodox (LuciO) and some bike groups prohibit them. In 2014, a good friend of mine, Damon, invited me to join the Heroner’s bike group. Eager to ride with my new friends, I showed up on a Saturday morning in “guns”. The email I received from the Director was absolutely hysterical, and really was the inspiration for the Drafter blog. The ability to make fun of ourselves, and gently poke fun of those we treasure, is a gift. Enjoy this gift from Jon Furlow to me, which I have saved all these years and reread on occasion for enjoyment (I will spare you my response, which was much less clever):
It was all the buzz on Saturday when a new rider to our ranks appeared sleeveless. Yes, shockingly sleeveless! Naturally, all the gossip over our 75 mile (and about six flats) jaunt to Indianford was whether what one hopes was a simple Ironman-frenzy induced lapse in judgment was actually permitted under the By-Laws.
So the Directors retrieved the By-Laws in the cupboard next to the extra large bag of lime-flavored Doritos. After a thorougly thumbing through the crumb-dusted pages, there it was – The Guns Rule, complete with historical references.
The By-Laws are unusually clear on the point, albeit with some exceptions and a proviso (that the Directors have decided by vote) are directly relevant in this case.
The “guns” rule (its actually a subsection) appears in Section III of the By-Laws under the Kit Directives which deals most prominently (Section III.A) with kit fit guidance which helpfully addresses the material differences between the race, sport and club cut, and contains the algorithm to calculate proper kit cut selection based on key metrics such as weekly nutella budget and average number of empty cookie cartons over a six month period in your weekly recycle. As important, Section III.B of Kit Directives (directly principally to males) addresses the general hazards of wearing white shorts and the more specific and heightened hazards associated with donning white shorts in the rain. See cross reference to “Porn Star.” Both Subsections A and B also address kit overuse and the resulting transparency effect that, I think we can all agree, is a major distraction particularly for those who are just trying to follow a wheel and are instead assaulted by a disturbing view that is really quite avoidable with a the slightest modicum of self-awareness and pre-ride kit inspection.
So that brings us to Section III.C, the “guns” rule. Some historical background. In ancient times, the rule was more of a well-understood common law (common sense) prohibition based on a cultural imperative to resist assimilation into the emerging tri-culture tribes. The Ancient Elders (now know as Directors) thought – did the cannibal, the badger, the pirate or the professor ever go sleeveless? The Elders did not think so (to be fair, there was evidence of a debate over whether the professor ever went sleveless, but the Elders concluded it was irrelevant because he was French and had a floppy pony tail). So the proper sleeve tradition held strong. But the tri-tribes continued to multiply until one day a wayward heroner strayed from the flock and went sleeveless on a group ride because it was hot and humid and he felt compelled to wear a birthday gift from his spouse: a sleeveless jersey with a cartoon cartoon character. Please see Cross References to “Jersey Selection – Fashion Don’t” and “Navigating Spouse Cycling Gifts.”
This historic mistep (legally, speaking, frolic and detour) proved useful because it revealed the three pillars that form the practical foundation of the current day “guns” rule and led to the strong movement to formalize the “guns” rule in the WHHDS By-Laws.
Pillar One: No one wants to ride behind (much less glance even fleetingly at) anyone with hairy shoulders and arm pits.
Pillar Two: No one wants to be batterred by the spray of salty sweat droplets from hairy shoulders and armpits.
Pillar Three: No one wants to grab a drink from a bottle cacked with someone’s armpit sweat.
[Variations from the Historical Text. The prior version of this rule cited a Fourth Pillar: the corrosive effect of sweat. But the carbon innovation led to that pillar being deleted as archaic. The prior version also had an sleeveless exemption for women cyclists on the theory that they don’t sweat or smell; they glow. But over time experience has proven that to be a lie of mythic proportion].
So, all in all, a pretty sound rule.
For future reference, here’s the text from the By-Laws:
Section III.C – The Guns Rule
(1) Definitions. As used herein,
(a) the term “jersey” shall mean any item of clothing designed to be worn in a way to cover any part of the torso while cycling and and with openings for a head, two arms and the waist, whether full, 3/4 or short zip.
(b) the term “sleeveless” shall mean any jersey (as herein defined), that allows a fellow rider to observe bare shoulders or armpits (shaven or not) whether or not (i) the exposure of shoulders or armpits is either by intentional or unintentional design of the jersey, (ii) accomplished by rolling-up sleeves, (iii) done for “summer tanning” purposes or (iv) accomplished by cutting off sleeves; provided however, that the definition of “sleeveless” does not apply to jersey’s rendered sleeveless through an unintended crash so long as the crashed jersey is no longer worn at subsequent herron rides. [Directors Annotation: a “sports bra” including a tri-top, would be considered “sleeveless” within this definition.]
(2) Prohibition. Sleeveless jerseys are strictly prohibited unless otherwise permitted by these rules. [Cross Reference: Please see further guidance relating to the prohibition of simultaneous wearing of sleeveless jerseys and arm warmers.]
(3) Exceptions. Section III.C(1) is not applicable in the following circumstances:
(a) its over 90 degrees F and 100% humidity, and the rider is not on a sanctioned herron ride;
(b) you are riding with tri-bars and having mechanical problems, and are not on a sanctioned herron ride;
(c) you are on a bouncy breach bike, and are not on a sanctioned herron ride; or
(d) you are alone in your room with the lights off and no one is home.
The Directors have, over time, grafted an additional proviso on this rule the states that the “guns” rule can at the Directors sole discretion be temporarily suspended on a one-time only basis for riders who met the following criteria (a) the rider is on their first sanctioned Herron ride, (b) the preponderance of the evidence suggests the rider can be rehabilitated and (c) the person inviting the new ride (hereafter, the “Inviter”) had failed to review the By-Laws with the new ride in advance.
The Directors have concluded after a review of the evidence that this last proviso governs the “sleeveless” situation on Saturday. The vote was close, 5 in favor, 4 against.
Several Drafters have requested an opportunity to order more Hincapie cycling gear, jerseys, bibs, shorts, jackets (winter is coming), vests, etc. You can place an order for ANY item until Wednesday July 26.
I do not have samples for sizing, but can certainly help you out. Over 25 orders were placed last time, so chances are good that I can help you find somebody with the size you need to try on. Or, feel free to contact Hincapie Sportswear directly. They are a great group to work with, and Meredith has provided her contact info below, along with directions for placing an order.
If this is your first time ordering with Hincapie Sportswear, click on “Create Your Account Now.”
If you have ordered with us before, click the “Log On” icon in the top right corner of your screen.
Shop and add any items to your cart that you would like to order.
Once you have selected everything you would like to order, click on your cart then click “Continue.”
Double check to make sure that your billing address and shipping address is correct. Please note that Hincapie CANNOT ship to a PO Box and a signature WILL be required upon delivery.
Click “Continue” to proceed through the checkout process.
NOTE ON SHORT POUR ROUTE for MONDAY: Not well thought out on my part. If the bridge is still out on Lodi-Springfield, the short pour path home will be unridable. I’d suggest riding out as described, taking a LEFT on Stevenson, but then an immediate LEFT on GOEDEN, and LEFT on LAVINA, and retrace your path back on Hyslop.
Place your order responsibly (or not if you can snag a friend’s credit card),
You know Rainbow Maker, and Drone Master, and Z and Brickson,
Loose Screw, and the Tobacco City Boys, and CM Wille and B2 Bomber a blitzen
But do you recall
The most directionally impaired Drafter of all?
Hit-The-Wollaeger, a sawbones Drafter,
had a route that he crisscrossed
and if you ever saw him
you would even say he’s lost.
All of the other Drafters
used to laugh and call street names
They never let poor Wally
play in any Garmin games.
Then one sunny Monday night
Dan-yelly came to say:
“Hit-The-Wollaeger with your GPS so bright,
won’t you guide our ride tonight?”
Then all the Drafters loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Wally the astray Drafter,
you’ll go down in history!
And so 13 thirsty Drafters finally reached their Free House destination, eventually, despite taking a circuitous route. There were several usual suspects missing, most likely due to excessive celebration following a tremendous showing at the Door County sprint and half IM events over the weekend. Congrats to Kilo and MegaWatt, Counselor Queen Bee, and Dan-yelly on the sprint. Arms, Legs, Angel Gabriel, Slow Cow and NBA Cliff placed well in the Half IM. It seems suspicious that the last two triathlons Cliff entered had the swim cancelled or shortened. I think his new Drafter handle will be “AquaPhobe”.
Angel Gabriel, Legs and Arms have a strong finish at the Door County Half IMAquaPhobe, brother of well-known AquaMan, finished well at the Door County half IM after summoning weather to shorten the swim.
If you are looking for organized rides, here are a few suggestions. There will be plenty-o-Drafters at DLD, Tyranena and The Ride, so sign up and go green.
The route for next week will take us through Lodi. I am aware that there is a segment on Lodi-Springfield that is currently under construction. Be prepared to take a detour. If repairs aren’t made by Monday, we will turn LEFT on Kurt Road, a LEFT on P, straight onto Stevenson and home on Hyslop (red line on map). There is a short pour 30mile route and also a shot to Dane.
brickosdrafters 
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