Despite my competitive nature, I don’t think picking a fight with Mother Nature is in our best interest, especially on Earth Day. The deck is stacked in her favor. While the forecast on my iPhone looks hopeful for a ride,
Just Do It.
Z Rex’s avionics intel is telling me otherwise:
Don’t Even Try It
Based on the latter, it appears red (bad) is going to hit hard around 6PM. I thought about meeting at 5:30 and doing a short loop, staying closer to home base should the skies let loose. But that makes me look desperate, and I’m not wanting Mother Nature to have that impression of me, especially on Earth Day.
I will see you next week for a Mulligan on the No Brains and All Brawn route.
Welcome Newbies! 4 Newbies rounded out our group to 14 Drafters who were, in the words of the famous Bob Dylan, blowing in the wind. The day was gorgeous until 5:30PM, when the sun dipped behind the clouds and the wind began to howl. And so it goes.
Captain, Footer, Cookie Monster (or at least her pink vest), von Diesel, Sandlot, Hit-the-Wall and PipesPixie and Half-Pipe still friendly with Booker J.
Bomber and Captain had some fuel to light their cycling fire as Newbie von Diesel joined the front line. He is used to chasing down Bomber on skis, and two wheels gives him another opportunity. Booker J brought two friends- well, I’m not sure they are friends as Booker J didn’t exactly convey the topography of the route. One said Newbie climbed half-way up Enchanted Valley and turned around. Welcome to the Draft, Half Pipe! 13% is a steep debut. Booker J’s other “friend” showed up on a single speed. I give the man credit- he never quit, although I could hear his heart beating from several hundred yards away.
The wind was relentless, which made conversing a challenge. I thought I heard Footer say, “The Pixie is bringing up the rear” when in fact she said, “The Fixie is bringing up the rear.” That Footer doesn’t differentiate a single speed from a fixed gear is a topic for another day- for now, I am content with his new Drafter handle. Welcome to the Draft, Pixie!
Last (literally) but not least (far from it), our very own Drafter yoga Master, Pipes, made her inaugural Draft. To note, she was last only because Caboose is off honeymooning in Jamaica. Congrats to the happy couple! I am quite sure that if rode UBEs (upper bike ergometers) instead of using our legs to pedal, Pipes would put all to shame. Climbing up Enchanted Valley, I glanced back and caught her in full Vrschikasana pose, pedaling with her arms and steering with her legs.
Vrschikasana Pose- Preferred pedaling technique for Olympic Rower turned Drafter
The only silver lining to the ferocious wind was that is was mostly blowing at a cross. We were fanned out like geese to reduce the wind. Captain Joe was behind Skipper‘s right calf and I was flanking his left. I’m not sure I’ve ever noticed the shear mass of his gastrocnemii- they provided at least 50W of savings, each. Maybe my kankles could offer similar Draft protection? Dr. Wampus (who promises to Draft soon) has diagnosed me with an accessory soles, so I don’t REALLY have kankles. It just looks like I do.
The ride for Monday April 22 will require more Brawn than Brains. We will venture west towards Cross Plains. The construction through town has been completed, so there will be no need for Dan-yelly to repeat her off road adventure through the yards of these fine townspeople. There are a few respectable climbs up Braun and Old Sauk Pass, but I don’t think you will need a dinner plate- yet.
The inaugural Draft was a bit drafty. Thanks to gale force winds out of the south-southwest, 14 Drafters felt like rockstars leaving the corral and heading north. BrickO and Z Rex were sure to take turns pulling early (read: while tail winds were strong), leaving the Highway Men to do the dirty work on the way home. Too Hip and Tick Tock definitely earned their cold draft at the Free House, pulling us through the wind tunnel. These Highway Men did not miss a day commuting throughout the winter months (need I remind you of the snow fall and sub-zero temperatures in Feb?) and it showed in their quadriceps strength and mitochondrial density. All I have to show for my “winter training”, which consisted of a serious Netflix regime and sampling of dark and mysterious microbrews, is a few more adipocytes. Time to taper, I think…
Too Hip, Duchess (Whamo no more), Tick Tock, Loose Screw, Speedy, Slinger, Footer, Duracell, Sandlot and Tough Girl (not pictured: Z Rex, Skipper and Drone Master)
The route was pretty straightforward, or so I thought. Tough Girl ignored the GPS coordinates and posted map, ending up in Waunakee. What is that saying about the road less traveled (by someone wearing his wife’s bike shorts- or is that a different literary work)? When accused of getting lost, Tough Girl retorted, “I wasn’t lost. I live in Waunakee and knew exactly where I was. I just didn’t know the bike route.”
Despite nothing but sunshine (and wind) in the forecast, we rode hard to escape the looming black rain clouds that appeared approximately 2 miles into the ride. Tick Tock muttered under his breath as we rode into town, “We couldn’t get out from under it the entire ride”, to which I jubilantly responded, “Yeah, but we never got wet”. Famous last words. Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. It wasn’t so much the volume of water that fell as it was the tenacity with which the drops struck (Z Rex counted 12, confirmed by the divots on Sandlot’s helmet).
Drone Master is currently running unopposed for “best dressed” Drafter. He looked stunning in his green kit, but I’m talking about the post-ride wardrobe. This guy is brilliant- not only does he cut the ride short by stopping at his house on the way into town, but he showers, shaves, puts on cologne and looks fresh as a daisy for dinner at the Free House. Table for One, please.
A few riders represented the Draft from east to west in the south. From Sanibel (Tobacco City Boy and Billy Bob) to Arizona (Nurse Sully), green was seen (or making a scene, probably both). From far reaching corners of the county, we were represented earlier in the day (some folks just can’t wait to get in their miles) from Fitchburg (CM and Vilks) to Middleton (Captain Joe). I appreciate flying the colors even when you can’t join us. Mysteriously absent was Bomber. His teammate, Slinger, confessed that Bomber might need some alone time after pulling him (literally, with a rope) mid-Adventure race due to a pedal mechanical failure on Saturday. Rumor has it that Bomber also rode the Railroad Roubaix route on Sunday (in the rain, as you may recall), just because Saturday didn’t kill him.
Cookie Monster conquers Fitchburg
TCB and Billy Bob did not have gale force winds or elevation changes in Sanibel
The route for next week, April 15th, will head west to Disenchanted Valley to test your quadriceps strength and mitochondrial density. We won’t attempt the full Spring Valley loop quite yet as we need to leave something hillacious to look forward to when the days grow warmer and longer. For now, we will take the short cut on Pine Rd (~27miles). There are a few nasty pot holes on Enchanted Valley before the Autumn Pond subdivision. WATCH THE GRAVEL at the bottom of Schuman Rd and Spring Valley. KP is more pot hole than asphalt. Imagine yourself as Peter Sagan bunny hopping his way to victory on the cobbles of Paris-Roubiax. Other than that, it is delightful.
One more thought to share: as we drafter out Pheasant Branch Road on Monday, I was struck by the number of beer cans (I counted over a dozen can of Fosters- who drinks that??) and countless other pieces of garbage. It makes me sad, as I do think we owe our planet a bit more respect. So, I’m thinking maybe we can give back a little to the earth that allows us the opportunity to ride around on it. I have put in an application for “Adopt-A-Highway” on behalf of the Drafters, specially requesting that stretch of road. Should we be selected, the commitment is 3 clean-ups between April and November. I’m happy for any and all help, should we be selected. Beer will be provided for all who participate. And it won’t be Fosters or Duchess.
The forecast looks promising for our 2019 inaugural Draft, at least for today. Snow tomorrow, so let’s make the most of this window of opportunity to Draft. We will start with a short 25 mile loop due north taking the Hyer Rd cut off at P. Watch for gravel at Pheasant Branch and Meffert Rd.
Wheels up 5:30 sharp from the parking lot on Parmenter. As you may recall from seasons past, the Draft waits for no one at the start, and everyone during the ride. If you are running late, consider parking at the Pheasant Branch Conservancy and joining the pack on the fly.
Bring a blinky light, helmet (duh), and tools to repair a flat. Bomber has had two already, a healthy start to reclaiming his championship title from Skipper. Vilks is making a strong attempt at the title as well. Skipper, on the other hand, seems more interested in creating a new championship bracket for most stitches. I will order more trophies.
So much rubber wasted on so little of a ride.Send it….Stitch it!
Drinking and other debauchery will commence after the Draft at the Free House. Amy will once again take care of us. Please tip her well.
Due to high winds and low interest, we will delay the start of the drafting season. Don’t be afraid to get dirty in the meantime. It’s a perfect day for that.
M-M-M-Monday night
M-M-M-Monday night
M-M-M-Monday night
M-M-M-Monday night
Winter was good to the Drafters. Here’s a brief recap of a few memorable moments.
Indoor training at CXC kept us warm on cold winter nights, and also highly entertained. Fish-N-Boots had several wardrobe malfunctions, including forgetting cycling shoes which necessitated cycling in winter boots, and mistaking his wife’s cycling shorts for his own.
Monday night Drafter crew at CXCFish-N-Boots showing his “Tough Girl” side
Not all of us stayed inside. A fair number of Drafters ventured out on two skis instead of two wheels. I’d like to say that I was one of the Birkie finishers, but alas, the photo is not of the Birkie finish. Cookie Monster and E$ weren’t fatigued enough after the Birkie, so traveled to Switzerland to do another ski marathon.
Birkie Training- finish photo not available, but E$, CM, Barefooter and Bomber crushed it.Conquering hills from Hayward to Switzerland.
Skipper wasn’t afraid to bike in a little weather. I wouldn’t be either if I could grow a beard like his (with my recent half century accomplishment, that shouldn’t be far off)! Look for more opportunities to bike with Skipper this summer as we kick off the Dirty Drafter rides at CamRock.
A few beardless Drafters sought out warm weather riding excursions this winter.
Drone Master does a fly by on Coronado BeachWhamo and Sandlot bike with the pros in MajorcaWay to go, Mom!
And some winter victories didn’t involve a bike at all. Congrats to Coach Arms and the Badger Women’s Hockey National Champions!
We will aim to kick off the Drafter season this Monday, April 1 (no fooling), pending cooperative weather. Wheels up at 5:30 from the parking lot on Parmenter, with beers to follow at the Free House. We will start with shorties, building miles as the weather grows warmer and daylight longer.
DANGER: there are more pot holes than asphalt on the segment of Pheasant Branch between the Conservancy parking lots at the top and bottom of the hill. There is GRAVEL down on the intersection of Pheasant Branch and Meffert. The city has up barricades to alert you to the fact.
A reminder to ride smart, at your own risk, and with another Drafter. Please consider using a blinky light. Have fun, get fit, don’t be a jerk and respect the rules of the road.
Last announcement: 2019 Drafter gear from Hincapie clothing order is due APRIL 2nd. Email me if you want the link.
What a sweet last dance. The weather cooperated beautifully and the daylight held out just long enough to see a record 22 Drafters round the corner from Riley Tavern to the Free House. Several rounded the wrong way, but it wouldn’t be a suitable official end of the season without Drafters gone astray. Tick Tock halted the lead peloton and made the executive decision to turn left on Old Sauk, sighting Rule V. “BrickO would have us climb every last hill, including Twin Valley and Blackhawk. Harden the F up, Cannibal and Booker J, and turn left.” Many of the ensuing Drafters failed to yield Rule V and turned right, eluding the elevation gain- which is always the wrong way.
Tick Tock, Captain Joe, OB, Tobacco City Boy (who is prematurely running a Draft line for Cookie Monster, Footer and B2 Bomber), Sandlot, Whamo, Slinger, Caboose, Speedy, D2 Duracell, Billy Bob V, Dan-yelly, Loose Screw, Z Rex, E$, Booker J, Cannibal. Hiding is our guest of honor, K2, by way of Oregon en route to Ontario.
Drafter quads were a bit sluggish from the RIDE the day before. Cannibal was sporting his RIDE number, definitely a Velominati violation of rule 57. Skeeter Bait, Footer, Whamo and Sandlot rode the full 100. Skeeter pulled Footer for the first 50, before saying, “so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu. I’d like to stay but I need to taste my first cold beer before you.” Whamo and Sandlot managed to avoid the medical tent, a definite improvement over Tyranena. Cookie Monster, E$, K2 and Billy Bob missed the 60 mile mass start, kindly waiting for fellow Drafter Dan-yelly. Who would have guessed she’d be running late? I’m sensing a name change in 2019. Equally predictable, BrickO got off track and ended up riding on Highway on 151 before engaging in some cross bike over the shoulder maneuver and billy goating down the steep embankment to find traffic traveling less than 70mph. Sheesh.
Dan-yelly, E$, CM, K2 and Billy Bob pre-60
Skeeter and Footer
Whamo and Sandlot
Does this number make my quads look big?
Is Hwy 151 part of the RIDE route?
I am directionally impaired, but I had other more pressing impairments to contend with during the RIDE on Sunday. For one, I was exhausted from the Bride Ride on Friday. Haven’t heard of it? Likely because only a few women have lived to tell the tale. 4 to be precise. The Bride Ride itself was only 20 miles, but the first half into a 30 knot headwind. As the story goes, the wind changed direction, such that a 30 knot headwind was enjoyed the entire loop. Pipes hadn’t been on two wheels since the birth of her daughter 3 years ago. Once an Olympian, always up for the games. The physical demands of the Bride Ride required immediate resuscitation at the Missouri Tavern, which was CLOSED ON A FRIDAY BEFORE NOON IN WISCONSIN. What the???? Fortunately for the bridal party, the Craftsman was open and dark beers readily available. Seeking nourishment after 20 miles of pedaling, the bridal party feasted. Dr. Wampus, concerned for our health, insisted on medicinal doses of whiskey and several other Drafters arrived on the scene to render nutritional support.
Olympic rowers clearly don’t know much about helmet fitting
Bride Ride: Footer, BrickO, Pipes and CM
Dr. Wampus Rx
Craftsman hydration station
Surprise! Arms, Keez, Wampus, BrickO, Speedy, Footer, CM and Pipes
A quick shout out to Dr. Lucius Corr for his gallant attempt to make the wedding. When plans fell through, he rode in honor of the Draft.
Lucius thumbing a ride from NY to WI
The Bride Ride is a two day stage race. The elements were not a factor in stage 2, which was held indoors at the Overture Center velodrome. This stage is well known for its cookie toss, an extremely dangerous display of athleticism and precise aim.
Billy Bob and Dan-yelly win the cookie toss
Do they make white bike shorts for these occasions?
Catch, E$! Drone Master and his significant other look on.
An acknowledgment to Ruthie Hauge Photography- I’m quite sure she had never been asked to take a Drafter bridal party photo quite like this.
Headband or garter?
Drafters clean up nice
So, in short, I had good reason to be a little fuzzy on the directions during the RIDE on Sunday AM. Where are we in this story? Back to the Monday night Draft. With 22 Drafters all staying for dinner, and a few more making appearances, we had a total take over of the front patio.
Caboose at the head of the table
Patio take over
Co-pilot Ann with Baby Riley
Evil Twin 11%… good to the last drop.
The 11% Evil Twin was no match for Footer. Speedy and D2 Duracell took a sip and there were immediate repercussions. Speedy did the quick math and calculated that she had drunk 8/9 of a sip and therefore consumed 0.97% alcohol. When waitress Amy asked Duracell how he wanted his burger done, he said “with coleslaw, please”.
I think the Evil Twin should not be underestimated. Look what evil fun Footer and Skeeter Bait had at CamRock this weekend?
Evil Twins
11% pain
BrickO and Z felt like the weather was evil on Saturday as they rode the Shawano Bike the Barn Quilts. I’d say the name lacks luster, and while it is true that the terrain is less evil than CamRock, the 30 degree start made us earn the green jersey.
Hello, George? Can you send us a subzero Drafter kit?
The Drafter family brings me such joy- and I am honored to ride each with with all of you. Thank you for being kind to one another, pushing each other to be stronger and faster, and for putting all the “stuff” aside and enjoying a beer with one another at the end of the night. I have your back, and know you have mine. I’m not big on math and even less of a fan of statistics. I don’t need numbers to know that this group is significant.
2016
2017
2018
Total riders
45
41
51
Average riders
12.8
11.8
15.5
Max riders
19
20
22
Newbies
22
11
19
Number of rides
21
21
19
Start- end dates
March 14- Sept 27
March 20- Sept 25
April 23- Sept 24
Most appearances
19 Dan-yelly
16 Cookie Monster
16 Tick Tock
Two other awards to be given out: 1) Flat tire club inductees: Booker J, Skeeter Bait and Tick Tock and 2) best Drafter photo: for the category of most miles traveled, Billy Bob; for the category of most committed, Cookie Monster and E$; and for capturing the most Drafters under one rainbow, Skeeter Bait.
Billy Bob full of V
E$ and CM say I do
Skeeter under a rainbow
I wish you all a wonderful hibernation and look forward to Drafting again next spring.
She grew up in a Midwestern town Had a good lookin’ Colnago she road all around But she road hard and she climbed alright With them Drafter boys on a Drafter Monday night
Well she started the Draft in two thousand thirteen She didn’t blow the boys away, but it was more than they’d seen The Draft was introduced and we all started groovin’ She said, “I dig you Drafters, we got to keep movin’…on, keep movin’ on”
Last dance through the county of Dane One more time to feel the pain I feel summer creepin’ past and I’m sad this Draft is my laaaast.
Well I don’t know what I’ve been told You never slow down, you never grow old I’m tired of changing flats, I’m tired of goin’ down, but never grow tired of biking this town
Oh my my, oh hell yes Honey put on that Drafter dress Buy me a drink, sing me a song, Take me as I come ’cause I can’t stay long
Last dance through the county of Dane One more time to feel the pain I feel summer creepin’ past and I’m gonna make this night laaaast
There’s mosquitos down at Free House square Sully’s standin’ in her Drafter wear Lookin’ down from a beer menu Spotted Cow will be comin’ soon
Oh my my, oh hell yes You’ve got to put on that Drafter dress
Last dance the county of Dane One more time to feel the pain I feel summer creepin’ past and I’m gonna make this night laaaast
We had an excellent turn out Monday. 17 Drafters “Wauan”ted to Ride Easy Street.
Backside: Cannibal and Booker J Tick Tock, Z, Bomber, Captain, Footer, Speedy, Duracell, Hit-the-Wall, Cookie Monster, Sandlot, Whamo, Billy Bob Way Back: Skeeter Bait and IronMD
Z Rex riding into the sunset
Skeeter Bait and Z Rex
Green Sea
That isn’t to say we all wanted to ride Easy. We had an abundance of lead-legged Drafters. Bomber was still licking his Ironman wounds, leaving Cannibal and Captain Joe to sprint for the town sign. Booker J may have to change his name to Booker BS, as he taunted Cannibal to take the sign from nearly a mile back. “How far is the town sign?” “Oh, just over the hill (unsaid: and up the next one, and then another half mile past that).
Booker J baits Cannibal to sprint to the town sign. Tick Tock isn’t biting. Captain Joe lays in wait.
Captain Joe sat back in Cannibal’s exhaust, until the thigh endowed man had no fuel to burn, and then claimed the sign. Tick Tock declined the invitation to sprint as he had just finished the most challenging race of his life- the Chequamegon, with mud so thick racers were literally stopped dead in their tracks, being catapulted over their handlebars.
Tick Tock: the man isn’t just a playground. He has feelings, too.
Billy Bob was also feeling a bit sluggish after his “Ironland” event. Stunning photos from across the pond. You know where he draws his strength? From the Velominati Rule V. And I thought V was on his license plate because he was Billy Bob McC the V.
Several fierce Drafters found their legs despite being plied with 11% porters compliments of the Tyranena Oktoberfest post-ride party. Footer and her Dad, Electro, Skeeter Bait, BrickO, Z Rex, Whamo and Sandlot enjoyed what could have been the most epic cycling day ever; no rain, wind or humidity and ample beer, food and music post-ride. The weather was so perfect that Electro, who currently resides in Texas, decided to get off his bike and walk for awhile, just to enjoy the cool weather, and then grabbed a beer at the rest stop at mile 30, conveniently the Hubbleton microbrewery.
Tyranena Draft: BrickO, Footer, Skeeter Bait, Electro, Z Rex, Whamo, Sandlot, Nurse on Call
Rest stop Hubbleton Brewery
Footer and Electro
Whamo apparently forgot that one still needs to hydrate, and ended up with road side assistance. Good thing Sandlot is a nurse- “For better and for worse”, right?
Sandlot drafting at work
Whamo seeking aid from a volunteer, a UW nurse and his wife Sandlot, also a RN. Go big of go home on the medical coverage.
Better than the medical tent was the service at the food and beer tent. I strongly recommend you consider Tyranena on your list of events next year.
Footer and Z Rex
Skeeter, BrickO and Electro
Whamo and 2 RNs
That’s a fairly complete list of excuses for why many of us had tired legs on Monday and didn’t challenge Cannibal and Captain Joe for the town sign sprint. None of us could challenge this new record set- 184mph by a woman on a bicycle.
I expect those of us doing the RIDE this Sunday to challenge that. The Drafter force will be felt- I’ve got Bomber, Footer, Coach Arms, Sully, Wampus, Captain Joe, Caboose, Cookie Monster and Vilks on the roster along with special appearance by K2! Congrats on your recent summit race. She’s got more miles on those legs running up mountains than most of us do biking!
K2 Drafting up Dead Mountain
All 17 Drafters, with our without legs of lead, completed the Wanua Ride Easy Street before the sun set. Waitress Amy was ready at the Free House with beers and an extra side of olives and buffalo sauce for BrickO. Sandlot brought her son, Evan AND wrote a poem. Much appreciated.
Buffalo no buffalo, please.Sandlot’s Ode to the Draft
Last dance of the season will be the Riley Tavern Route, a poetic end as it was also our first ride of the season. Short but sweet this is a 21mile oldie but goodie.
Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like
But, the earth is tilting away from the sun on its imaginary axis, gradually restricting our Monday night ride distance until there will be none. All 10 Drafters were in before dark on the Cocktail ride, but only by cutting the ride down to 25miles and taking the bike path home. I am hoping we can safely squeeze in 2 more short rides before calling it a helluva season.
The Green Machine heads out on the Cocktail Ride: Right line: CM, Barefooter, Loose Screw, Tick Tock; Left line: Speedy, Whamo, Sandlot, Captain Joe, Z Rex.We celebrated Amy’s birthday (our steadfast waitress) and gifted her a Drafter golf polo. Just what she wanted, I’m sure.
The Cocktail crew was missing a few usual suspects, possibly due to fatigue. Congrats to Dan-yelly, Tobacco City Boy and Booker J on their Door County Century. Ironman WI indoctrinated two Drafters, Wandering Slow Cow and B2 Bomber.
Dan-yelly and Tobacco City Boy go green at the Door County CenturyB2 Bomber- he does more than just bike! He went the extra mile coordinating his Tri-suit with his Drafter hat.
Well done, boys. Billy Bob decided to get out of town for his endurance event, traveling to South West of Ireland to ride in the Cork Rebel Tour. One one of these endurance competitions had the chutzpah to show up to the Draft Monday… and not to ride, but to drink and eat copious amounts of red meat. Wandering Slow Cow credited Cookie Monster Wille with his strong finish. Allegedly, Wandering Slow Cow was exhibiting the characteristics of his name sake when he stumbled upon CM. Her strong encouragement and possible reprimand for demonstrating behavior unbecoming of a Drafter (not enough Rule V of the Velominati) was enough incentive to pick up his walk to a passing running pace (at least until out of sight).
V!!! Encouragement Cookie Monster gave to Slow Cow.All that cross training paddling in the Boundary Waters pays off for Wandering Slow Cow. And, V!!!!!
The route for next week will take us to Waunakee. It’s a 26 mile route, which is going to be a push against the darkness. PLEASE be ready to ride at 5:30 sharp, and if you can leave earlier with a buddy, please do.PLEASE PLEASE BRING FRONT AND READ BLINKIE LIGHTS.
You must be logged in to post a comment.