Did I say the Roxbury route would be long but not grueling? Shame on me.  And shame on those of you who believed me.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful ride
That started from this parking lot
18 Drafters side by side.

The mate was a mighty cycling woman,
The Skipper brave and sure.
The bicyclists set out that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

Navigating started getting rough,
The tiny map was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Drafters would be lost, the Drafters would be lost.

The bikes sped down on the shoulder of this uncharted dirt road
With Bare Footer
The Skipper too,
And a Drafter called Pipes with drool

So this is the tale of our castaways,
They’re here for a long, long time,
They’ll have to make the best of things,
It’s an uphill climb.

Bare Footer and the Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make drooling Pipes comfortable,
In their Dane County back roads nest.

No phone, no lights, no motor car,
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
It’s primitive as can be.

So join us here each week my friend,
You’re sure to get a smile,
From three stranded castaways,
Out at Roxbury Tavern.

The tales these castaways shared kept things lively at the LongTable.

Skipper had just fought the Battle of Cam Rock WORS on Sunday, and apparently mistook the Drafter ride to be part of the Wisconsin Off  Road series.  Barefooter and Pipes blindly followed their fearless leader to Roxbury Tavern. The first sign that the tour was going to be extended occurred just after the leaving Roxbury, when the crew passed three non-Drafters who exclaimed, “Hey, a bunch of riders in those same green jerseys went the other way!”.  The crew extended the tour to 48 miles, just shy of a half century.  Footer voted to ride circles around the parking to claim those extra 2 miles, but Pipes declined.  With drool and snot impairing her vision for most of the adventure, she misread the “Look for Fallen Rocks” sign on Katzenbuechel Rd (aka Katzenpukel) as “Look for Fallen Drafters”.  Pipes caught her second wind, and second beer back at Longtable, but not the second mile to make it an even 50. The Yoga Master muttered, “Namaste upright for at least 20 min to drink this beer.”

Three other Drafters elected to start the tour early.  We spotted Billy Bob in Drafter green riding out Airport Rd as we were driving to the staging area a few minutes after 5PM. Slow Cow  followed suit, uttering as he rolled out “let the hazing begin!” Or did he say, “let the grazing begin”?  Apparently, Slow Cow is also a member of the Wisconsin Off Road series, as he neglected his map and started the route in reverse.  We came across Billy Bob and Slow Cow shamelessly consulting their GPS. If you want to start and finish early, my money is on Drone Master. Perhaps it takes a degree in aerospace engineering to decipher my directions? Drone Master takes it one step further, mysteriously joining the Draft mid-route and curiously disappearing and reappearing on the other side of most major climbs.  Even so, he gently reminded me, “you don’t have to use ALL of the daylight on these rides”.

I decided this was a  good ride to attempt to hang with the lead group, since Bomber’s legs were still suffering from his Dirty Kanza Gravel race on Sat (he took 17th overall?!!) and Booker J went back to back with the Trek 100 on Sat and the 70 mile Ride for the Arts in Milwaukee on Sunday. Sandlot and Duchess also battled the elements to complete the Trek 100.  Duchess made a desperate attempt to unseat Evel Knievel for the largest hematoma award.  Carefully timing his crash so as to go from max speed of 24mph to zero, he is in contention for the award.  Our Drafter reporter caught up with Duchess for a brief interview. “After a brief survey of the carnage—no broken bones, bike still rideable, but no longer pristine—after getting my clock cleaned, I shook off the cobwebs, applied Rule 5 and proceeded to ride the remaining 75 miles.  Link: Velominati Rules

I wanted to brag about the Hyde and Seek Z Rex and I played on Friday, but after hearing of these real rode adventures, I kept silent about my tired legs after our comparably little 70 mile ride to Hyde Mill.  The picture is worth sharing- not for the two yardbirds in it, but to appreciate a stone mill that has stood the test of time (build in 1850). I told my 50 year old body to harden the F* up (see Velominati Rule #5).

Also in the lead group were Tick Tock,  Vintage and Thing 1. Recently securing her first job since graduating from PT school afforded Thing 1 a new carbon beauty, complete with dish wheels.  I was tempering the fatigue of Bomber and Booker J with the uncertainty of messing with youth on dish wheels. Experience certainly counts- I’ve biked more years than she’s lived, but Thing 1 can bring the hurt.   I can always count on Tick Tock to do the lion’s share of the work, so I took a chance and ventured boldly with the lead group.  Luckily, Thing 1 sabotaged her husband by feeding Vintage copious amounts of sugar.  He didn’t bonk, but nearly vomited.  Thing 1 was also thrown off her game when she realized her new bike computer was equipped to display percent grade. There was some serious swearing as we climbed Dunlap Hollow. “16 f*ing %!” Sometimes ignorance is bliss. All was going according to plan until Tick Tock dropped a chain on Enchanted Valley.  Vintage and Thing 1 took the lead, while I hung back with Booker J and Bomber to make sure Tick Tock had no other mechanical issues.  What we lost in time we (collective we) gained in adrenaline.  There was no chance Tick Tock was going to play Domestique without some glory.  Booker J and Bomber were shot (see Dirty Kanza and Trek 100 results), I can’t pull a pace line to save my large posterior chain, but Tick Tock executed a masterful slingshot move to pull us past the youngsters.

It was a glorious finish, but I should go back to the start where we welcomed another Newbie, Violet.  Friend of Vintage and Thing 1, Violet was overheard in the parking lot expressing his predilection for hills.  I couldn’t make him eat his words, but he did eat the flowers in my salad.  Bomber may want to consider ordering a bowl of violets next time. Forgetting a clean shirt, he wore his very sweet sweat smelling Drafter jersey to dinner.  I’m not an authority on relationships (ask husband 1), but my advice to Bomber in his quest to find a significant other would be less sweat equity.  He’s convinced the bright green jersey is key to attracting a mate. While that may be true for hummingbirds who lack a sense of smell and are attached to bright colors, I think a clean bright green jersey might be a more viable option.

Not all Drafters can make Monday night, but exemplify the spirit of the Draft on their own schedule.

In preparation for the upcoming Horribly Hilly Hundreds, we will be riding a page out of their book. This is a 36ish ride (GPS from Middleton Hills vs Free House) with 2 options for shorter routes (Pine or Turkey).

PDF map to download: Spring Valley

Garmin Link (note this is from Middleton Hills, not Free House): Middleton Hills to Spring Valley

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The Memorial Day ride might have been a bust, but I trust all of you got out on Saturday and Sunday to enjoy the glorious weather, be it on two wheels or otherwise.  I have evidence that Skipper did just that in his new Drafter kit. Speaking of which- if you placed a recent Hincapie order, shipping date is July 8th.  Skipper is in the lead for the photo competition (by default, since I have no other entries).  Remember to submit your photos throughout the season to be considered for the end of the year awards ceremony.  There are no criteria other than Drafter apparel must be in the photograph, hopefully with you wearing it.

I can’t let Skipper go uncontested.

Not to wish away summer now that it has finally arrived, but here are a few links to  fall rides:

Ride Across Wisconsin Aug 17-18

Door Country Century Sept 8

The Ride Sept 22

Tyranena Oktoberfest Sept 28

The Hibernator 100 Oct 5 (same event as the Bear only in the fall)

A huge shout out to former Drafter, Ivy League, for her recent Podcast, Humbled.  This series interviews retired elite athletes to discuss their transition back to “normal life”.   The first episode interviews cycling legend, Levi Leipheimer. Current Drafter and retired rower, Pipes, will be the interviewee in July. I’m not sure she’s the epitome of “normal” before or after achieving elite status, but you listen to the series and decide for yourself.

Listen to Welcome to Humbled from humbled in Podcasts.

The route for Monday June 3 will humble us.  We will be heading north to the Roxbury Tavern for a 42 mile adventure.  For those who like to know what lies ahead, there are serious climbs on Dunlap Hollow and Katzenbuchel.  For a shorter 25 mile option, just skip the northern loop (and Dunlap Hollow & Katzenbuchel).

The Garmin link is from Middleton Hills, not the Free House, but the route is accurate: Garmin Link MH Rockin’ To Roxbury

Download PDF map: Roxbury 42

CAUTION:

• Indian Trail has been repaved at the east end, but becomes pretty pitted as you near K.  Use caution on the turns.
• There are 3 rumble in the jungle strips as you approach Hwy 12.  If there is no oncoming traffic, I suggest avoiding them to keep your fillings in tact, or make sure your dental insurance is paid up.
• We cross Highway 12. Gulp.  There is a safe space between the lanes of traffic to hang out in the middle.  Please cross safely.
• There is NO ROAD SIGN for Kipley. It is the first (I think?) left on KP after 12.
• As we climb Schuman towards Otto Kerl, there is an area of gravel washout from a driveway on the opposite side of the road, with some extending into our lane.  Luckily, we are climbing so high speeds will not be an issue.

We will descend upon Longtable for post Roxbury Tavern libations.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

I have run into a few hindrances for the proposed ride on Memorial Day:

1. Our route home from the Rock via Crystal and Fish Lake is closed.
2. Longtable and Free House are closed and therefore motivation to ride compromised.
3. The weather forecast is not pleasant (see motivational issue above in point 2).

Therefore, I think it is in our best interests to ride independently if and when there is a window.  Happy Memorial Day!  I will post the route for the following Monday at some point next week.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

So this is what the morning after going to Church feels like? Or maybe it was the combination of 2171 feet of climb (Garmins varied, but unanimously agree over 2000′) in 38.3 miles and the 11% Evil Twin beer I selected to re-hyrdrate?  Misery loves company, and  we had a 2019 record attendance of 20 Drafters going to Church.  Our all time high (Drafters, not elevation) was the final ride in Sept 2019, so we are on track to surpass that number.

We managed to depart on time, despite our Newbie needing a Pit Stop before the ride began. Slow Meandering Cow gave us the go ahead to leave him behind.  “I do my own thing anyway”, he sighed. Slow Cow blew a spoke on his way to Church.  A sign? His wife thinks so, as she found the receipt for his most recent trip to Cronometro.  Having a clandestine affair with one’s bike is tricky business.

Evel Knievel was raring to ride.  With is most recent hematoma healed, he was eyeing up Tobacco City Boy’s new redneck truck to jump over.  Sandlot led the Draft out Airport Rd until being foiled by a red light.  She doesn’t ofter much Draft protection size wise, but her competitiveness is nothing to mess with.  Just ask her about husband Duchess’  claim to have “caught up” at the rest stop of their last event.  Waiting for and being caught up to are sort of the same, unless you are competitive.

Cannibal wasted no time expending energy and broke out the Clif Shots 27 minutes into the ride.  When you have your power to mass ratio dialed in like Cannibal, you don’t want to run low on fuel.  We picked up a stray on KP, a kickass commuter named Jason, who was  on his way home to Mount Horeb. Cannibal was eyeing up his saddle bags for food.  I’m not sure which is more humbling- a commuter with saddle bags or Bomber on his gravel bike with 38mm white tires as they scream past.   B2 Bomber ages up this week and I doubt it will slow him down.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOMBER.

Knievel and Pit Stop opted to skip Church, riding the shorter No Brains All Brawn route.  I got a text from Knievel asking what was taking so long- he was on his second beer and unsure if he could hold out long enough to see us return to the Free House. Han Solo had been riding with these two renegades, but felt compelled to go to Church. Half way there, he confessed he had made a bad choice.  That climb is not for the faint of heart.  He wasn’t the only one complaining.  The power couple, Vintage and Thing 1, were vying for best excuses as we approached the final climb on Airport Road. “My bars are so sticky”, proclaimed Vintage to which Thing 1 countered, “My seat is too low- I keep slipping off”.  I generously offered a solution, which was to put Vintage’s bar tape on his wife’s seat.  Marriage counseling could be my next gig.

Speaking of marriage counseling, I might need a referral as I left Z Rex behind to deal with 2 flat tires. “For better or worse, unless it is a flat tire, and then I’m out”.   I didn’t leave him alone intentionally….  and he wasn’t alone.  I got a lovely text from Speedy letting me know that 6 Drafters were helping him change not one, but two flat tires. We have our first FLAT TIRE CLUB contestant.  Bomber was the reigning champion in 2017, and Skipper went home with the trophy in 2018.

Mechanical failures were not limited to flat tires.  My new bargain barrel Pearl Izumi 3/4 tights left much to be desired, especially for those Drafting directly behind me.  Apparently, the 3/4 referred not only to leg length.  Good thing I had a jersey with a little extra length to bridge the gap.  I was catching a Draft, but not the kind we boast of.  In the upper wardrobe failures, Speedy’s arm warmers functioned like wrist warmers.  I guess she could donate them to Pipes or Arms?  C-Monster had a mismatched pair of gloves, with one cycling and one XC skiing.  Functional, but not pretty.  Which reminds me to remind you, if you want to look pretty, Drafter gear is available.

DRAFTER CYCLING CLOTHING ORDER DUE MAY 26.  Here’s the link: Hincapie Custom Store

The Free House was our sanctuary after going to Church.  Speedy didn’t have a free hand to drink, as she was preoccupied massaging her cramping thighs and walking around like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Pipes was euphoric (suffering is her spiritual release) and regaled stories of her positive snot sign.  TCB was simply catatonic.  Maybe it was the stress of envisioning Knievel jumping over his new truck, but I think it was the 2000+ feet of climb.

Nobody was suffering enough to pass up the opportunity to ride 50 miles next week.  Bare Footer said her commitment is weather dependent- if the sun is shining and the wind isn’t blowing, she’ll be bare footin’.   Pipes and Speedy, in their respective states of dehydration and cramping, misheard her say “If it’s nice, I’ll be getting laid.”  Oh my.

Pending weather, we will ride at 2PM for the Rock of Gibraltar. Stay tuned for a time change if the AM looks better for riding than the PM. The Free House is closed, so we will have refreshments at Longtable or skip group therapy, based on interest. If you have a Vintage Drafter jersey from Voler, this Memorial Day ride is the one to sport it.

PDF Rock of Gibralter map to download: Rock of Gibraltar 50

Garmin link (from my house but close enough to Free House): Rock of Gibraltar

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Lyrics by CCR 
Just about a year ago
I set out on the road
Seekin' my fame and fortune
Lookin' for a pot of gold
Thing got bad things got worse
I guess you will know the tune
Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again

Slightly modified to suit the Draft
Just about a night ago
I set out on the road
Seekin' my ride and good beer
Lookin' out for those potholes
Thing got good things got great
I guess you will know the tune
Oh Lord, rode to Lodi again

The Lodi ride brought back lots of old timers and some new fashions. Cannibal showed up with new garish sunglasses so large the rest of him looked dainty in comparison. Pres elected to join the fashion show, looking dapper in his Drafter green leggings.  Skipper finally retreated from the woods, where he has been playing with his new Yeti, back on the road decked out in the new Hincapie Drafter kit.  A bonus feature of this year’s kit is the calf slimming feature. I barely recognized Skipper as I drafted behind his nearly invisible calves, the same ones that offered protection form the wind only a few weeks back. I thought I had specified “butt slimming” feature, but according to my mirror, that didn’t manifest.  Actually, my kankles aren’t any slimmer either.  This feature must only be available in  men’s kits.  Arms finally took a break from celebrating the NCAA Championship to Draft.  Are you kidding? Yes, I’m kidding.  Before the trophy started collecting dust, she has been busy drafting the UW hockey team for next year.  Despite few bike miles and a new baby, Coach Arms rocked (no surprise there). Thing 1 joined her hubby, Vintage, and easily claimed the power couple title, formerly held by Mega and KiloWatt.  This is my shameless attempt to summon Team Watt back to Draft.  

If you are interested in the calf slimming  2019 Hincapie Drafter kit (feature available only in mens), you can order here through May 26: Hincapie Drafter Store

The ride for next week is one of my favorites. I do recognize that I make this claim of favoritism nearly every week. It isn’t my fault that we live in epic cycling territory. I simply cannot choose a single favorite.  Vermont Church is a challenging 40 mile route.  The cut off at Braun is the 30 mile No Brains all Brawn ride we did earlier in the season.  Post-ride rehydration will commence at the Free House. 

And if you are looking for an event this Sunday, check out: Wesby Syttende Mai Bicycle Tour

Lyrics by Hozier 
Take me to church 
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies 
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife 
Offer me that deathless death 
Good God, let me give you my life 

Drafter Version, with apologies to Hozier 
Take me to church 
I’ll climb Vermont like a dog and tear up my thighs 
I’ll tell you my watts cause Barlow cuts like a knife 
Offer me that drafter deal 
Good God, let me draft you for life

Garmin Link Take Me To Church

PDF map download: Vermont Church 40

As our group continues to grow, just a few gentle reminders:

• Blinkie lights should be blinking from the start of the ride
• No headphones, please- we need to hear approaching traffic
• Follow rules of the road WI DOT link
• “Persons riding bicycles  upon a roadway may ride 2 abreast if such operation does not impede the normal and reasonable movement of traffic.”  We have the right to ride side by side, so long as traffic can freely pass.  That said, it doesn’t pay to be right if you aren’t alive to enjoy it.  Please call out “car back” and do your best to get into a single file line.  Please stay in a “tight” side by side formation, not veering near the center line.  Point out potholes.  
• Pheasant Branch Road is more potholes than pavement, and is our main artery out of town.  My feeling is that riding close to the shoulder on the descent between the Conservancy parking lots to allow a car to pass is a death wish.  That stretch reminds me of how I descend a black diamond in CO….. I need ALL the available real-estate to be safe. This isn’t the Tour de France- we aren’t in a paceline holding our line at all costs.  There simply isn’t enough solid pavement to allow a car to pass with 3 feet of clearance (see rules above).  As such, I tend to ride mid-lane and give myself plenty of room behind the rider in front of me.  In short, follow the rules and practice good cycling etiquette and above all, use common sense.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The Cocktail Ride brought a 2019 record high attendance of 16 Drafters, including 4 Newbies.

So many Newbie tales to tell.  Vintage (husband of Thing 1, who briefly enlisted in the 2016 Draft) stood out right from the start.  His old school drop shifters  gave the appearance of a guy who wasn’t up to speed.  Appearances (or in this case disappearances) can be deceiving.  Vintage disappeared from the middle of the pack and continued to “stand out”  front for us to Draft.

The only thing more visibly out of place than vintage shifters was the bulge in Knievel’s shorts.  The bulge was coming laterally from his hip- don’t think this blog has gone naughty. This Newbie has a penchant for connecting with the pavement.  Nothing says “I’m a cyclist” more clearly than road rash, and in Evel Knievel’s case, a greater trochanter the size of an orange.  Knievel’s hip fruit garnished our Cocktail Ride beautifully.

Not that the Draft promotes the competitive spirit … but you can’t squelch the natural desire to suffer.  Like beer, more is better, within the loose framework of moderation.   With that, Han Solo went out hard and suffered with the best of them, namely Bomber. On a mission  to make his daughter’s band concert at 7PM , Bomber was motivated to push the pace (on his gravel bike).  Being a smart young man (I know this first hand, as he was one of my former students), and confident in his Drafter manlinesss,  when Han came to the fork in the road, he took the one less long.  Han headed solo down the bike path,  and the force was with him.

I waited for our final Newbie at said fork. And waited.  And waited.  Who knew there was an equivalent to the Bermuda Triangle right here in Dane County?  It apparently swallowed him up and spit him back out at the Free House as though he’d just come from a beach vacation-  relaxed in flip flops, cool white sunglasses with cocktail in hand.  Bermuda really embodied the  Cocktail Ride.  Meanwhile, Klutch (as in the German term Klatch, describing his indefatigable capacity for conversation modified to a more suitable English spelling) was gracious enough to backtrack with me in search of Bermuda.  I now have verification that Klutch is 1) a nice guy, 2) can talk at the same rate at any aerobic intensity and 3) that I cannot.   All is well that ends well, and our night ended with wonderful celebrations of Coach Arms and the Women’s Badger Hockey Team National Title and birthdays (Nurse Sully and Pipes). 

A few announcements:

• Hincapie Drafter 2019 kits on on their way.  If you won’t be home Friday to sign for your package, please go to the FedEx website to manage your delivery.
• If you did not order new Drafter gear and would like to, let me know.  If there are at least 10 pieces (shorts, bibs, jerseys, jackets, vests, etc) I will open up the store.
• If you ride, please be sure I have your cell phone number and you have mine.  While I am not liable for your safety, I won’t sleep well if I think you’ve been swallowed up in the Bermuda Triangle. May no Drafter be left behind.  I strongly encourage riding with a buddy whenever possible. And please text me if you do a U-turn so that I know you are safe.
• We will be imbibing at Longtable after the Lodi ride on May 13.
• Two more ride opportunities that are really fun, and unfortunately fall on the same date, Sept 28.  Registration for both will be opening soon.

Bike the Barn Quilts Info Link

Our next Draft will find us stuck in Lodi again. There are shorter options, including 25 and 35 mile routes.  The full route is 40 miles, pending being swallowed by the Bermuda Triangle.

PDF Map: Lodi Marsh 40 and Hyer Loop 25

Lodi GPS (these GPS coordinates start from Middleton Hills vs Free House)

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

When I advised showing up with more Brawn than Brains for the ride, B2 Bomber and von Diesel took me seriously. They met up for a pre-ride 12 mile “warmup” (no doubt with VO2 max intervals), finishing just in time to lead out a dozen Drafters.  Side note: they did not take Mother Nature serioulsy last week, choosing the old school method of sniffing the wind for rain instead of relying on modern radar.  Mother Nature rewarded them with a shower, but luckily not a jolt of electricity.  Too Hip did an extended warm up as well, biking to work at 5AM in the rain, and then biking from work out to Cross Plaines as he missed us at the start.  He blew by the Draft on Timber donning a seemingly heavy backpack.  Drafter officials were suspicious and confiscated said backpack.  While body mass to power ratio was not hindered by the pack (all show, no go), it did not contain EPO or other performance enhancing drugs.  Too Hip is too awesome.

We welcomed our first Kiwi to the Draft.  It is too early to tell if he can hold his own on a bike, but there is no doubt he can hold his own in a conversation.  The Kiwi met C-Monster and Footer while out riding Wednesday night, and chatted them up long enough to learn about the Draft.  This Kiwi can Klatch. Pipes, brandishing her new Scott bike, was intrigued by his discussion of grinding cat food with mortar and pestle, but could offer nothing in return as no oxygen molecules could be sacrificed for the sake of coffee klatching.

We changed up our beer drinking venue a bit, and were delighted with the selection at Longtable.  Bomber didn’t get the pre-ride memo regarding venue change- one of the perils of “warming up”.  First off the bike, and the last to the table.  I’m not sure how long he sat at the Free House, or how many beers he had alone, but he did finally join the Draft across the street. There is something for everybody at Longtable.  Pipes, BrickO and Footer went to the dark side while C-Monster kept it light.  Pipes spilled $4 worth of her ClusterFudge.  She can hold onto an oar long enough to win two Olympic metals but not a damn beer?????  Clearly, more training is required.  I’m just the coach she’s looking for.

Happy Birthdays to Nurse Sully and Pipes this week!  I’m happy for company in the half century club.  Sully has been a “long time” card holder and paved the way for us into the club.  With those celebrations in mind, let’s ride the Tom Collins cocktail route.  This is a moderate 30 mile route with a shorter 25 mile option that can be achieved by taking the bike path home.

PDF map for download and print: Tom Collins 30 25

GPS link Tom Collins

A reminder that University Ave is under construction between Park St and Parmenter, so allow extra time to detour to the start.

Looking for an event?  The Wisconsin Gran Fondo series is under new management, but SAME ownership.  Enough said, for those who rode these 3 events last year without much in the way of food or water.  This Driftless area event just popped up on my radar and we are giving it a go.  We would love your Drafter company.

Link: 17th Annual Syttende Mai Bicycle tour

For those who like their rides dirty: The Bear Gravel Ride

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Despite my competitive nature, I don’t think picking a fight with Mother Nature is in our best interest, especially on Earth Day.  The deck is stacked in her favor.  While the forecast on my iPhone looks hopeful for a ride,

Z Rex’s avionics intel is telling me otherwise:

Based on the latter, it appears red (bad) is going to hit hard around 6PM.  I thought about meeting at 5:30 and doing a short loop,  staying closer to home base should the skies let loose.  But that makes me look desperate, and I’m not wanting Mother Nature to have that impression of me, especially on Earth Day.

I will see you next week for a Mulligan on the No Brains and All Brawn route.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Welcome Newbies!   4 Newbies rounded out our group to 14 Drafters who were, in the words of the famous  Bob Dylan, blowing in the wind. The day was gorgeous until 5:30PM, when the sun dipped behind the clouds and the wind began to howl. And so it goes.

Bomber and Captain had some fuel to light their cycling fire as Newbie von Diesel joined the front line. He is used to chasing down Bomber on skis, and two wheels gives him another opportunity.  Booker J brought two friends- well, I’m not sure they are friends as Booker J didn’t exactly convey the topography of the route.  One said Newbie climbed half-way up Enchanted Valley and turned around.  Welcome to the Draft, Half Pipe!  13% is a steep debut. Booker J’s other “friend” showed up on a single speed.  I give the man credit- he never quit, although I could hear his heart beating from several hundred yards away.

The wind was relentless, which made conversing a challenge.  I thought I heard Footer say, “The Pixie is bringing up the rear” when in fact she said, “The Fixie is bringing up the rear.”  That Footer doesn’t differentiate a single speed from a fixed gear is a topic for another day- for now, I am content with his new Drafter handle.  Welcome to the Draft, Pixie!

Last (literally) but not least (far from it), our very own Drafter yoga Master, Pipes, made her inaugural Draft.  To note, she was last only because Caboose is off honeymooning in Jamaica. Congrats to the happy couple!  I am quite sure that if rode UBEs (upper bike ergometers) instead of using our legs to pedal, Pipes would put all to shame.  Climbing up Enchanted Valley, I glanced back and caught her in full Vrschikasana pose, pedaling with her arms and steering with her legs.

The only silver lining to the ferocious wind was that is was mostly blowing at a cross.  We were fanned out like geese to reduce the wind.  Captain Joe was behind  Skipper‘s right calf and I was flanking his left.  I’m not sure I’ve ever noticed the shear mass of his gastrocnemii- they provided at least 50W of savings, each.  Maybe my kankles could offer similar Draft protection?  Dr. Wampus (who promises to Draft soon) has diagnosed me with an accessory soles, so I don’t REALLY have kankles.  It just looks like I do.

The ride for Monday April 22 will require more Brawn than Brains.  We will venture west towards Cross Plains.  The construction through town has been completed, so there will be no need for Dan-yelly to repeat her off road adventure through the yards of these fine townspeople.  There are a few respectable climbs up Braun and Old Sauk Pass, but I don’t think you will need a dinner plate- yet.

Garmin link Brains and Brawn

PDF map for download Union Valley Brains and Brawn 30

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The inaugural Draft was a bit drafty.  Thanks to gale force winds out of the south-southwest, 14 Drafters felt like rockstars leaving the corral and heading north.  BrickO and Z Rex were sure to take turns pulling early (read: while tail winds were strong), leaving the Highway Men to do the dirty work on the way home.   Too Hip and Tick Tock definitely earned their cold draft at the Free House, pulling us through the wind tunnel.  These Highway Men did not miss a day commuting throughout the winter months (need I remind you of the snow fall and sub-zero temperatures in Feb?) and it showed in their quadriceps strength and mitochondrial density.  All I have to show for my “winter training”, which consisted of a serious Netflix regime and sampling of dark and mysterious microbrews, is a few more adipocytes.  Time to taper, I think…

The route was pretty straightforward, or so I thought. Tough Girl ignored the GPS coordinates and posted map, ending up in Waunakee.  What is that saying about the road less traveled (by someone wearing his wife’s bike shorts- or is that a different literary work)?  When accused of getting lost, Tough Girl retorted, “I wasn’t lost.  I live in Waunakee and knew exactly where I was. I just didn’t know the bike route.”

Despite nothing but sunshine (and wind) in the forecast, we rode hard to escape the looming black rain clouds that appeared approximately 2 miles into the ride.  Tick Tock muttered under his breath as we rode into town, “We couldn’t get out from under it the entire ride”,  to which I jubilantly responded, “Yeah, but we never got wet”.  Famous last words.  Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.  It wasn’t so much the volume of water that fell as it was the tenacity with which the drops struck (Z Rex counted 12, confirmed by the divots on Sandlot’s helmet).

Drone Master is currently running unopposed for “best dressed” Drafter.  He looked stunning in his green kit, but I’m talking about the post-ride wardrobe.  This guy is brilliant- not only does he cut the ride short by stopping at his house on the way into town, but he showers, shaves, puts on cologne and looks fresh as a daisy for dinner at the Free House.  Table for One, please.

A few riders represented the Draft from east to west in the south.  From Sanibel (Tobacco City Boy and Billy Bob) to Arizona (Nurse Sully), green was seen (or making a scene, probably both).  From far reaching corners of the county, we were represented earlier in the day (some folks just can’t wait to get in their miles) from Fitchburg (CM and Vilks) to Middleton (Captain Joe). I appreciate flying the colors even when you can’t join us.  Mysteriously absent was Bomber.  His teammate, Slinger, confessed that Bomber might need some alone time after pulling him (literally, with a rope) mid-Adventure race due to a pedal mechanical failure on Saturday.  Rumor has it that Bomber also rode the Railroad Roubaix route on Sunday (in the rain, as you may recall), just because Saturday didn’t kill him.

The route for next week, April 15th, will head west to  Disenchanted Valley to test your quadriceps strength and mitochondrial density.  We won’t attempt the full Spring Valley loop quite yet as we need to leave something hillacious to look forward to when the days grow warmer and longer.  For now, we will take the short cut on Pine Rd (~27miles).  There are a few nasty pot holes on Enchanted Valley before the Autumn Pond subdivision.  WATCH THE GRAVEL at the bottom of Schuman Rd and Spring Valley.  KP is more pot hole than asphalt. Imagine yourself as Peter Sagan bunny hopping his way to victory on the cobbles of Paris-Roubiax.  Other than that, it is delightful.

PDF map to download:  Pine Loop

Garmin link Pine Loop

One more thought to share: as we drafter out Pheasant Branch Road on Monday, I was struck by the number of beer cans (I counted over a dozen can of Fosters- who drinks that??) and countless other pieces of garbage.  It makes me sad, as I do think we owe our planet a bit more respect.  So, I’m thinking maybe we can give back a little to the earth that allows us the opportunity to ride around on it.  I have put in an application for “Adopt-A-Highway” on behalf of the Drafters, specially requesting that stretch of road.  Should we be selected, the commitment is 3 clean-ups between April and November.  I’m happy for any and all help, should we be selected.  Beer will be provided for all who participate.  And it won’t be Fosters or Duchess.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO