RECORD BREAKING ATTENDANCE, any way you count it. 30 Drafters went to Church at roughly the same time, with 3 more attending separate services. The Draft started early on with Thing 1 knock knock knocking on heaven’s door before heading out for vacation.

Tick Tock and Sarge were also in the air, landing too late to make the official departure, but were sighted on KP drafting responsibly.

The C for Can Do team was suited up and ready to rock early. Dan-yelly was still buzzing from her finish at the Door Country Triathlon. Her last swim was two years and two children ago, so she was thrilled to have completed with event without water wings. So thrilled in fact, that she decided to keep her race number on in case she races again within the next two years. Hopefully, #253 will still be appropriate. “What I can do once, I can do again.”

Pipes was able to fit into her Drafter shorts, no small feat after being stung by a staph infected bee last Monday. Her quad was nearly the size of Cannibal’s hind quarters and required antibiotics to normalize.

Charlotte delayed her move to NC for one more Drafter ride, a little warm up for her 70.3 on Saturday. Belle, recovered from her 200 Unbound Gravel feat, was back in the saddle, flashing her ring bling and 10th anniversary jersey (thanks for supporting the Draft).

The B for Bad Ass team had a strong showing. T-Bone staked out his first 2022 ride, also sporting his 10th anniversary kit (thanks for supporting the Draft).

Z Wrecks and T-Bone beefed up and rode the full 40, while the remainder of the B Team confessed to skipping Blue Mounds Trail and proceeding directly to Church.

The A Team started with a dozen and picked up two more in Cross Plains, Super Q and a newbie, Taquito.

Elton John’s Bitch is Back and the Drafter’s Bomber is Back.

Bomber, Bomber, oh, the Bomber is back
Stone-cold healthy as a matter of fact
He can climb, he can pull ’cause he’s stronger than you
It’s the way that he moves, the things that he do, oh-oh-oh

He’s the bomber, he’s the bomber, oh, the Bomber is back
Stone-cold healthy, as a matter of fact
He can climb, he can pull ’cause he’s stronger than you
It’s the way that he moves, the things that he do, oh-oh-oh Bomber, bomber, bomber is back

Bomber, bomber, bomber is back
Bomber, bomber, bomber is back
Bomber, bomber, bomber is back
Bomber, bomber, bomber is back
Bomber, bomber, bomber is back
Bomber, bomber, bomber is back
Bomber, bomber, bomber is back

Watching Granny and Super Q climb was a heavenly experience. The Drafter handle committee is in session, voting on a name change from Granny to GrrAnimal. She’s the wolf disguised as Granny, innocently riding an ancient heavy bike with a single water bottle, waiting to swallow you up. The Drafters are pitching in to buy Granny a second water bottle cage, made of lead, to keep the wolf at bay. Nobody complained when she requested to stop at the church to refill her single water bottle. Everyone welcomed a breather.

While we are giving thanks and praise, Cannibal brought back (several times) the Drafters who would have otherwise been lost and forgotten. And Kirk earned the Blurple Heart award for coming back on Schneider to pick up BrickO and Granny and other lost souls too numerous to be listed. These Drafters were exemplary drafters, following the code, despite tired legs from the Platteville Road Race on Saturday.

Vintage floated the idea of stopping at Quik Trip for Slushies. This was a Drafter first, and certainly won’t be the last. Def Leppard’s “pour some sugar on me” was the theme song. With that incentive, the pace line to KP was fast and furious. Granny went nuts and took her first pull. Too bad Squirrel missed the nuts action. Super Q took a big pull, and BrickO had the misfortune of being next in line, mustering up all the watts she could and still couldn’t compete with those quads. My what beautiful quads you have, Super Q. The Drafters took the travel time to Quik Trip literally.

The sugar high gave way to more substantial recovery beverages. And to birthday song for Badger.

Not all Drafters went to Church on Monday. Cookie Monster and Co did some session-ing in the driveway.

CHAMOIS SHAME: none for this Drafter.

Chamois are encouraged for the Dirty Drafters. Shred responsibly.

There were Drafter sightings as far as McKee farms for the Dane County Boys and Girls Ride on Saturday and the W&S roll on Sunday. Huge thanks to Sandlot for rolling on that urban adventure, and for her weekly support of the Wednesday W&S Women on Wheels rides.

And way up nort’ in Minnesota, Coach Arms was representing the Draft.

The route for Monday 25 is Crystal Clear.

RidewithGPS link to Crystal Clear

PDF cue sheet

Remember to tune in this Sunday for the Tour de France Femmes! Prizes will be awarded for the best photo submission of yourself IN DRAFTER GEAR WATCHING THE TOUR.

Draft responsibly,
BrickO

Recon for the Pleasant Getting Old route (named for Pleasant Valley Rd and Old Indian Tr) proved fruitful. The 40 mile route for July 18 is mostly void of chip seal. There is a 3/10 mile section on KP just before the turn onto Moen Valley with a sign that notes gravel, but there was none. Blue Mounds Trail was chip sealed in mid-June, and there is still a bit of loose stuff in between the tire tracks, but the road is firm if you stay in the lane. Use CAUTION approaching the stop sign where Blue Mounds Trail and Pleasant Valley Rd meet. The gravel is piled up at that intersection.

If you are nervous about riding Blue Mounds Trail, or would like to knock off 10 miles, please confess using the Back Door to Church. This route includes all the same roads as the full strength route, with the exception of the loop on Blue Mounds Trail.

RidewithGPS link to Sneaking in the Back Door to Church

PDF cue sheet

Congrats to K2 on her summit. She claimed 1st place female at the Summit700!

Hope to see many of you on Saturday at the Boys and Girls ride.

Draft responsbily,

BrickO

“Two hills my gluteus maximus!” Perhaps that hill count was misleading, Gopher? Two hills not yet pedaled this season may have been a more accurate description for the Rockin to Roxbury route. 2400 feet of climbing over two hills would have been par for the Tour de France, and suitable for our polka dot jersey rider, LuLu. It is no coincidence that Gopher chose gluteus maximus as the title for his Strava post, as butts were the hot topic of conversation, in a purely physiological sense. There is no butt shaming allowed, though marginalized butts observations (Vilker) are fair game. The metric was less about W/kg and more about W/glute. Power from the backside is a thing of beauty, and the main reason that skinny jeans should be banished.

A sole Drafter broke away from the peloton (left an hour early) and rocked Roxbury without being caught. Dan-yelly will look stunning in the yellow jersey.

The B for Bad Ass team had full roster. Midas showed up thinking this was the JV team, but soon realized this group is anything “butt”. Pipes came prepared with two pairs of glasses: one to block the sun and the other to read the map. This is a dramatic improvement from a few years back when she forgot her glasses, water bottle and front wheel. Nitro came equipped with a medical kit full of anti-bonk remedies. Medical records are HIPAA protected, but all suspect that Pipes finished the Draft thanks to our staff anesthesiologist.

The A team (this could go so many ways with the butt theme and B standing for Bad Ass, but let’s keep it clean) had a slower start with Skipper coming in hot (who knew you could do a tail whip on a road bike?) and without water bottles. Vilks, leaving no Drafter dehydrated, scrambled into the house to fill up Skipper’s borrowed bottles (hence missing from the starting line up photo), leaving his sunglasses by the sink and spending another few minutes hunting the down. He should have taken a page out of Pipes’ book and brought two pair.

Vilks, BrickO, LuLu and Skipper were late out of the gate. Following the Drafter code, the A Team soft pedaled until the foursome caught up before the ascent to Ashton. To be clear, that ascent was not one of the two hills on the tour.

Despite the blue skies, Booker J’s new bike was rumbling like angry thunder. “I had the chain waxed two years ago”, says the man who still has the screen sticker still on his Garmin so that the same faux data appears every ride.

Dunlap Hollow was one of the two formidable hills on the route. Skipper captured the anticipation of the Drafters rounding the bend, and the agony of the climb.

With 10 miles left to go, both Drafter groups merged and came to rest before the final climb on Woodland (nope, not one of the two advertised climbs), ironically at the cemetery.

The post-draft draft was wonderfully void of Strava segment downloads, although we were all in awe of the purple heat Blurple rained down on Hwy V for Victory. Vintage was in hot pursuit, but clearly his leg hair hygiene game was off (compounded by his post-WORS race legs from Sunday).

Granny, our dermatologist on call, has been kept busy with all sorts of Drafter skin and hair issues. While helping BrickO keep hers from falling out, Vintage has solicited her help in having his legs achieve the same smoothness as Vilker’s. Smooth legs may be Vilker’s jam, but his “paramecium” is growing, along with his mustache envy.

Cycling Events: Hope to see many of you this Saturday for the Boys and Girls Club ride from McKee Farms. Sign up for the BrickO’s Drafters team, which gets you nothing in the way of swag, but tons in the way of camaraderie. The Drafters also have a team lined up for The Lake Ripley Ride on Saturday, July 30. There are rumors of a party to follow at an undisclosed cabin location on the lake.

The Dirty Draft hasn’t had much traction with organized rides, but it is great to see so many Drafters getting dirty. And Vintage is shredding the WORS series!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS this week to Speedy and Special K! And happy BIRTH to E$ and Cookie Monster as they welcome our newest Drafter.

The July 18 route is tentatively Pleasant Getting Old, a 40 mile tour of the west. Wheels up with water bottles filled and sunglasses (and readers, if needed) secured at 5:30PM. It will require recon as some of the roads were chip sealed a few weeks ago. Check GroupMe for updates should the route need to be rerouted. 5PM SHORT POUR: knock off the most westerly loop, which is ~8 miles. Stay on JJ, skipping the right turn onto Blue Mounds Trail (the road in question for chip seal), and returning on Vermont Church Rd.

RidewithGPS link to Pleasant Getting Old

Cue sheet PDF

Draft responsibly,
BrickO

Editor’s note: there was a grave reporting error in last week’s Drafter statistics. Columbus and Daisy rode the short pour, and were inadvertently missed during the head count. The tally has been corrected to reflect a RECORD HIGH 31 DRAFTERS!

The Garden Party attendance bloomed at 28. A good day to climb, and climb we did. 2000ish feet over 29 miles, including the Beast of Barlow. Slow Cow drafted alone in the late afternoon, sending periodic updates from the course, which also served as proof of existence!

Fresh from their wedding reception, LuLu and Columbus along with bridal party members Gopher and Daisy vowed to draft responsibly.

The B for Bad A** group was mighty. Apparently, garden drinks are an inspiration. Helios made his first drafting appearance since enlisting in 2020. Knievel, recovered from his last stunt, also reenlisted.

Coach Arms even took a break from the rink to cool off with a garden drink. Nitro, who had not yet met the hockey phenom was gassed, “Wow, I figured you must be Coach Arms. I would love to put a 14 gauge IV into those veins.” The things anesthesiologists get excited about…..

The A Team was also in full force. BrickO and Z Wrecks feigned Garmin route upload failure, part of their ploy to keep the group together, knowing the brutal climbs would keep em’ separated.

Par for the Drafter course, Booker J came in hot to the start.

The Hincapie jersey of choice was clearly beer and sprocket. It was awesome to see the train of green leave the station in single file, drafting responsibly. Well done, Drafters.

The drafting stopped and survival mode started at the bottom of Barlow. She’s a beast.

But Barlow was no match for Granny and Cujo, who hammered to the top, while Z Wrecks claimed the KOM for descending with the most G (or Z) forces.

No good deed goes unrewarded. After drafting responsibly, the Drafters were treated to Garden Drinks, mostly arugula with a little bit of gin. The recovery drink of champions. Gatorade , HEED, LMT and Skratch are all scrambling to uncover the formula.

Without Strava segments to distract the Drafters, they focused their efforts on consuming the Garden Drinks in record time. Cannibal had to make a second batch to keep the Drafters recovering responsibly.

Age Group notifications: Happy Birthday to Flash and LuLu. May the force be with you and your VO2max. The Birthday Fairies are considering some special gifts. For LuLu, a new “more senior” Drafter handle, Kid Tron. Flash has been noting some equipment failure during high speed chases, and a new battery pack for her superhero outfit has been ordered from Amazon. It is on backorder.

Octane baked a batch of brownies, which were accented nicely with chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal bars made by the hosts (thank you, Cannibal and Jen). BrickO brought candles for his next birthday (bad math, good intention).

It was a weekend filled with Drafter cycling extravaganzas. Congratulations to Vintage on his performance at the WORS Red Barn Classic. Turns out Vintage can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.

The Fitchburg Festival of Speed with never ever ever let Cannibal forget he’s the man.

In triathlon news, Flash made a splash in Benton Harbor at the Steelhead 70.3. Keez found her way to the podium at the Ames Triathlon. Well done!

Not quite race pace, these Drafters worked to bring a Sunday Funday community ride to Middleton. Check out Wheel and Sprocket no drop rides on Sunday at 9AM.

A round of applause for our Drafter of the Month, SANDLOT. Recovering from a ski accident has kept her from pushing hard on the bike. But she brings her experience and enthusiasm every Wednesday to help guide the W&S Women on Wheels rides. And that is after a long day of delivering compassionate and competent patient care. Sandlot is the recipient of the 2022 Nurse Excellence Award. You’re killing me, Smalls.

Since we have a week off for the July 4th holiday, legs should be well rested and ready to rock to Roxbury. This is an ambitious 42 mile excursion with some extraordinary roads and climbs, including Dunlap Hollow. The shorter pour option is to skip the turn onto Katzenbuechel Rd (mile 15) and stay on KP all the way to County Road V, turning right. This will remove ~5 miles and lots of elevation.

The Archies song “Sugar Sugar” may be playing in your head as you climb, with some modified lyrics.

Dunalp
Oh, hollow, hollow
You are my climbin’ hill
And you got me wanting you

And you got me f- wanting you
When I climbed you, hill
I knew how sweet a watt could be

RidewithGPS link to Roxbury (Dunlap Hollow)

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Near record high June temperatures brought about a near record number of 29 Drafters, including 3 newbies. There were some tired legs post- Horribly Hilly Hundreds, accompanied by big smiles. One big smile made the cover photo of the HHH. Welcome to the Draft, GQ.

Our other two newbies are well trained to take care of all your pain needs. Recruited by Pit Stop and Duchess, we now have two anesthesiologists who will monitor your vitals during the Draft and recommend the perfect post-ride cocktail to minimize your pain. Sadly, one of them will be drafting soon from NC. Welcome Charlotte and Nitro. More gas, please.

The B for Bad A** team had an excellent showing. 16 Drafters blasted into the furnace. Speedy came in hot, forgetting her helmet but remembering her cooler with post-draft beverages. Loose Screw jumped a flight from Montana, stopped home for a change into Drafter gear and pulled up on the tarmac ready to ride, with fly fishing lure still in hand. Gopher was running a bit lean after the HHH, hoping not to run out of fuel completely. He had his foot on the pedal, eager to arrive home before Badger to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Late to that party would be a big hole to dig, Gopher. Swimming in the humidity, the B Team found Nemo and also discovered Busch Latte at Riley Tavern, drafting responsibly.

The A team had a respectable showing of 13. The ground rules for proper drafting etiquette were reviewed (see incriminating evidence from previous draft). The team improved, but still has a ways to go to meet Drafter Code. Squirrel took to heart the warning not to cross the center line. Riding so far to the right, Squirrel ended up on the gravel shoulder. Just once. No fur went missing. Our group is well received in the community (at least, I hope so). Riding more than 2 abreast on country roads and single file when cars are present is non-negotiable and the price of admission. Draft responsibly.

Vilks was pretty in pink. So pretty, the Drafters were checking his 23andMe to see how much Greek blood flowed through his veins. To the surprise of all, Vilks is 98% Pomeranian.

When the Strava hunters got ahead of the Draft, Vilks weaved back and forth in a failed track stand attempt, successfully leaving no Drafter behind as they waited for the light to turn green. Karma is real. A few miles later, Vilks dropped a chain and Midas didn’t lose her touch, calling for backup. Vintage circled back to pick up the Pomeranian in Pink.

Han Solo was the only solo fired up this week. There was no need to stoke the solo stove in 96 degree weather. There was, however, a call for some serious rehydration.

WEEKEND REVIEW: Congrats to LuLu, Skipper, Gopher, Z Wrecks and Booker J who participated in the Horribly Hilly Hundreds on Saturday. The HHH is usually a Sufferfest, but thanks to Mother Nature allowing for a 75 degree day with negligible humidity and wind and superb support by Race Day Events, those 10,000 feet of climb over 127 miles didn’t require anesthetization. A shout out to Zach at Blue Mounds Bicycle Works for opening his shop at 6:30AM and supplying Gopher with a SRAM battery, which he forgot at home on his countertop. To his credit, it was fully charged.

As with all endurance events, smiles and ATPs are plentiful in the beginning.

And then, as Skipper’s socks and Gopher’s hand gesture indicate, things go south.

But all is well that ends well.

Looks like the Drafters have GQ on the front cover and LuLu on the Strava podium. Or, he would have been on the podium had he not waited for his teammates at the the rest stops. Humble warrior that he is, LuLu said, “Ha! That number wouldn’t motivate me. I am stoked about the ride we had– wouldn’t change a single moment.” And THAT what we love about the Drafter Family. Strava certainly has a place in cycling, as does Drafting together. Keep it real.

Not all Drafters were on two wheels. Footer took the crown at her first Barefoot Competition since 1999. Baby got back.

Not all wins are athletic. Congrats to the Dark Knight on leading the UW Dept of Orthopedics Research Draft.

CHAMOIS SHARE: Booker J overheard some female Drafters talking about discomfort of their lady parts while riding. “I KNEW it! I KNEW it! Girls talk about their parts, too.” Oh, Booker J. So much to learn. This revelation prompted him to share a chamois story. “When I first started cycling, nobody told me not to wear underwear under by cycling shorts. I kept waiting to hear other guys complaining about their guy parts, cuz mine were all chaffed and irritated. Finally, somebody told me to lose the underwear.” So much to learn.

The ride on June 27 will be hosted by Cannibal and will start from Woodhill Circle in Verona. Check GroupMe for an address. We will celebrate Cannibal’s BIRTHDAY with Garden Drinks afterwards. Aprons are optional.

RidewithGPS link to Cannibal’s Garden Party

There will be no Draft on Monday July 4.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Mother Nature sure knows how to throw a party. Gale force winds and heavy rains swept through Dane County, forcing the 4:30 B team to succumb. By 5:30, the skies and roads were clear and dry, respectively, although the same could not be said for Skipper’s driveway.

Octane provided the inspiration for the Drafters to come out of their storm cellars and ride in solidarity.

Almost. The C team was created for those riders recovering from Covid and not yet on their A game.

Comet and Midas came in hot at 5:30, but were unable to park in the driveway as Booker J took up all 3 stalls, redefining his limits using his VIP Tarmac pass.

Casually exiting his vehicle, jaws dropped as he unloaded his new Specialized Tarmac with added rotational torque. Booker J no longer needs his small chainring, apparently. Or perhaps the electronic shifting manual has yet to be reviewed? Granny is eagerly awaiting the arrival of her Specialized Tarmac, outfitted with lead water bottle cages to keep her from winning all the QOMs.

Everyone opted for the extra mileage on Lodi Springfield Rd, a 3 mile out and back with stunning views of the Lodi Marsh. The marks for creativity were slightly impacted by the required U turn. The Drafter cartographer has been notified. Expect a figure 8 in 2023.

Hit-the- Wall made his debut and a resolution to not hit the wall in 2022. Hanging with the group until Dane, he assessed his metabolic state and made the mature decision to turn back for Octane’s brownies.

There were also some signs of not drafting responsibly. A gentle reminder that we need to be respectful of our place on the road. It was wonderful to have a chill ride as a single group, but we need to socialize with no more than two riders abreast at all times and do not cross the center line (exception can be made for snot rockets).

CONGRATULATIONS

We have another Drafter couple soon to be on the alter. Congrats to Bomber and Belle on their engagement. They both are ready to say “I do” to another dirty gravel adventure, the Lutsen 99er.

Congrats to Vintage on his Bronze Age Group finish at WORS!

Congrats to some of the Drafter XXers for completing the weekend challenge: 2 Kokoro yoga sessions, 2 MTB rides, 30 mile road ride, 1 sazerac and 1 maiden voyage Lake Lounger cruise without bodily harm. All activities were fully fueled by cookies from Cookie Monster.

Congrats to Sandlot and Duchess on drafting responsibly to church. It doesn’t appear to be Vermont Church, as indicated on the route sheet, but this is a freedom we support.

Congrats to Sully for inspiring another group of women to cycle, including the better halves of Billy Boy, Loose Screw and Queenie. Sharing a post ride draft with these women was a hoot. Billy Boy’s wife has a code phrase for “leave me alone”, which is “I find myself most fascinating”, right up there with Amelia Earhart. While discussing the logistics of changing a flat tire, Loose Screw’s wife pointed out that calling an Uber is a viable option. Welcome to the Draft, Earhart and Uber. The Drafter mission is to include women spanning at LEAST 5 decades to draft on Monday nights. We have achieved that for men, but it is time for Title Nine to come to the Draft.

CHAMOIS SHARE: This week’s column on chamois shame is one near and dear to my… parts. In the early days of Ironman triathlon, tri suits did not exist (one-piece suits with a minimal chamois that doesn’t act like a diaper in the water, provides sufficient protection during the bike, and minimizes saggy baggy during the run). Most female triathletes in the early to mid 90s wore 2-piece Speedo swim suits. The downside: no bike chamois. The upside: easy bladder relief and easy clean up on the bike. In 1997, during the Vineman in Santa Rosa, CA, BrickO was racing with two bottles on the bike: one with water and one with Gatorade. Attention to bladder evacuation protocol was lost and Gatorade was added to the dribble, creating an interesting Wapatui concoction. A critical decision had to be made: dump the remaining bottle of water to ride sticky free, or keep the remaining water for hydration?

THE HINCAPIE STORE IS OPEN THROUGH MIDNIGHT FRIDAY JUNE 17. Orders for the 10th Anniversary kit, MTB jersey and winter jacket is now open through this Hincapie Drafter Store link. If you have an item that doesn’t fit to your specifications, there is a good chance another Drafter would take it off your hands (or back). Give a shout out on GroupMe. If you want to try before you buy, shoot me a text.

Considering the Horribly Hilly Hundreds this weekend, the route for Monday June 20 will be a relatively benign 31-mile trek south. Special K is appealing her 2021 Epic Loop case to the higher Drafter court, objecting to the lack of guidance riding around the closed loop containing Epic, the Verona based electronic medical records giant. Seems the Judge can navigate difficult decisions impacting our world, but struggles to ride in a circle. Therefore, the Epic Loop no longer subsides in this epic ride. Case closed. Next.

RidewithGPS Epic Riley Route link

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

15 Drafters headed to Church. The B Team was unified in spirit and Hincapie Drafter kits, but shared few watts (20% off any non-custom Hincapie item with code SBRICKSON) With the impending vertical challenge of 2410′ feet, 4 B team members departed at 4:30, with Z Wrecks and Speedy trailing behind at 5 and 5:15, respectively. Queenie started on his own and joined up with the B Team somewhere out on the long lonesome highway west of Middleton.

When asked about the early start, the former 2-time Olympian bluntly stated, “I like short rides, short hills and short shorts. This is none of those.” Footer backed up her teammate, “I averaged 12mph two weeks ago and haven’t biked since. I’d like to be in before dark.” Special K brought snacks to last through the evening. And so, they were off.

The A team was small but mighty, thanks to the addition of Madison Multisport coaching and cycling phenoms, Comet and Midas. The blue Trek cyclocross bike with knobby tires looked like a hindrance, but the Comet road that thing like a rocket. Welcome to the Draft! His bride, Midas, does not appear in the official Excel Drafter files dating back to 2018, but there is confirmation from trusted sources that she is a card holding Drafter. Midas has not lost her touch. No longer racing on the triathlon circuit, she touches so many lives through coaching, helping endurance athletes reach their goals. Back in her days as a massage therapist, she literally had the Midas touch.

“Turn the Pedals“, lyrics by Bob Seger shamefully modified to meet our Drafter newbies.

On a long and lonesome highway
West of Middleton
You can listen to Comet’s engine
Moanin’ out his big watt song
You can think about his cross bike
Or the girl you know is coming for you

But your thoughts will soon be wandering
The way they always do
When you’re ridin’ 38 miles
And there’s much climbin’ to do

And you don’t feel much like climbin’
You just wish the hill was through

See here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on Barlow
Here I go
Draftin’’ star again
There I go
Turn the cranks

The B Team stopped at Church for reconciliation as Pitstop’s Garmin Virtual Partner had already completed the ride. “Are we really only at mile 15? I think I need a new virtual partner”.

The A Team was plagued with chain drops. The group climbed the hill to church, looking for guidance. There were whispers of sabotage to keep Cannibal at bay. Octane feigned a pull on KP just to slow down the pace before dropping a chain on Barlow, forcing Cannibal to stop and render assistance, in compliance with the Drafter code.

One thing Fo’Sho, Forshaug Rd was worth the watts. The ski slopes of Tyrol Basin are the Midwest version of a Rocky Mountain high.

Barlow is a beast. Fortunately, we came from the south and mostly enjoyed descending the beast. Skipper hit upwards of 50mph and attempted to keep enough speed to make it up Barlow’s little rollers without pedaling. He was 18 strokes short.

The threatening sky was all talk, no action. The action came in the form of Z Wrecks’ Sazeracs, which took the chill out of our bones and put a wobble in Cannibal’s walk.

There was much to celebrate over a Sazerac. Belle and Cujo rocked the Unbound Gravel 200, a true measure of grit (and grime as it rained heavily most of the day).

Belle wasn’t the only one playing in the gravel. Slow Cow completed the Italy Divide, 1250k of gravel, riding ~50 miles per day with 30 pounds of gear. There are no signs of this drafter slowing down. He has his sights set on the Trans Balkan Race in 2023. For every Slow Cow there is a Pigman.

Keez took the podium for 1st Collegiate Woman at the Pigman Triathlon, Olympic distance. No matter how many women signed up. A win is a win, and this one wearing her new colors representing the Wisconsin Triathlon Team.

Not all victories include a podium. Fighting back from a torn ACL takes grit, too, and Sandlot is well on her way to a victory.

The Drafter mission is to encourage cycling at all levels. There are not enough women out there, and it is our goal to help get them started and empower them to keep riding. BrickO, Sully and Sandlot will be leading beginner level rides for Wheel and Sprocket in Middleton every other Wednesday at 5PM. If you or someone you love needs help pedaling, please join us.

Madison Women’s Cycling Club is committed to this mission as well, an enthusiastic group of riders who welcome all levels. They meet Tue evenings at 6PM at the Biergarten at Olbrich Park.

Looking to rock out without a bike? Check out Queenie with SuperTuesday this Thursday at Concerts on the Rooftop. Tickets are free. Beer is not.

On that note, the route for Monday June 13 is Rock of Ages (32 miles) with the option to add a few extra miles riding to Lodi (38 miles total). Be sure to download the right tune.

RidewithGPS Rock of Ages Plus Lodi link

RidewithGPS Rock of Ages link

We will conclude this post with our weekly CHAMOIS SHARE, or perhaps CHAMOIS SHAME. This one comes from Vintage.

“When I first started riding in Pittsburgh I didn’t know anyone else that rode. I went to REI and bought a pair of what I thought were bike shorts. They were actually just liners. I wore them with nothing on top for good for 5 months, to group rides and everything, without anyone telling me that they could see all of my a**crack. Thank goodness this was 12 years ago in a different state or else I may not be able to show my face on two wheels around here.”

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Ciao! The Drafters were well represented in the Giro d’ Italia. Ok, maybe not, but 4 of the initial 13 members drafted responsibly in the hills of Tuscany. Grazie to the Italian Job (aka Colin O’Brien) at CycleSport Travel for setting up an incredible 9 day tour.

A huge thanks to Captain Joe and Tennille for hosting last week. Temperatures were as cool as the 9 Drafters who showed up to draft the Spring Valley loop. Booker J‘s cool factor was elevated when he joined both the A and B teams. Slow Cow’s cool factor feel a few degrees as he was sighted on the route, but without draft protection. Slow Cow showed up at Free House the previous Monday, the drafter starting line in 2019, so he is definitely trending in the right direction.

Cool riders were welcomed back to a warm meal (thanks to Tennille) and a hot fire.

We will roll into June with one of our favorite rides, Take Me to Church. For those not wanting a full confession, you can skip Church and ride the Brains and Brawn route (staying with the group on Union Valley, turning left on Braun, retracing the route back after turning right on KP).

Ride with GPS link: Take Me To Church

Sending extra watt wishes to Belle and Cujo who are signed up for Unbound this coming weekend. Go get em’, Ladies!

Interested in some rides with a little less oomph? Check out these excellent rides benefitting the Boys & Girls Club and JDRF, and sign up to ride with BrickO’s Drafters.

MOVE4BGC July 16

Lake Ripley Ride July 30

CHAMOIS SHARE: have an interesting chamois story? Send it in! There will be a prize at the end of the year for the best chamois story. What constitutes the best? There are no rules, or even guidelines. There may be an opportunity to vote, but certainly no democratic process.

This one submitted by the Italian Job: In the old days, chamois were made from leather. If that wasn’t bad enough, this one guy on the US cycling team would flip the shorts inside out to ride. No shi*t.

*The Italian Job is a former US hour record-holder and was around when chamois were leather and tires were solid rubber, and square.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The Drafter scribe is currently unavailable, purportedly packing feverishly for an early departure to Italy. Underscore feverishly, as two negative home Covid tests and a negative PCR test have not explained the 8 days of symptoms. While green is her favorite color, this is taking things a bit too far. Apparently, only Supreme Court Justices are able to call in antibiotic favors, which is why the Drafter scribe made off with Special K’s water bottles in hopes of sipping some medicine. The scribe also made off with three of Octane”s espresso porters and two coconut chocolate gluten free brownies, so the healing is bound to begin. So, this post will be brief and to the point. And most likely include an abundance of typos. Please be kind.

25 Drafters, including two newbies, faced the Formidable Festge, many donning their fabulous new Hincapie kits celebrating our 10 YEAR DRAFTING RESPONSIBLY ANNIVERSARY! The group was a bit discombobulated from the start, with four Drafters going rouge at 4:30PM. Nothing like a little head start to make more time for drinking beer. Pipes was struggling with her Garmin. Apparently, the course she loaded last week recommended making a U-turn throughout the entire route. Special K ate all her snacks while waiting for Pipes to upload the route. Draft responsibly. While these four were early, Slow Cow was late to the Draft. Like 3 years late. Somehow he didn’t get the memo that we moved the start from the Free House to our house in 2019. No matter. He needed to recover after conquering Italy Divide.

In addition to the Rogue Group, there was a short pour for two!

The 5:15 group had the usual suspects, and some new suspects. Tick Tock brought his significant other. Riding out of town, BrickO commented on how svelte he looked (this is sensitive territory as Tick Tock is more than just eye candy), and he responded that his girlfriend had him on a strict workout routine. “I may look like a Cadillac, but I drive like a Model T”. Welcome to the Draft, Sargent. It appears you have Tick Tock at full salute. Our second newbie found out about the draft several years ago when she and BrickO were both at Middleton High School dropping off forgotten items for their respective children, while wearing cycling jerseys. It took her awhile to enlist, and we are happy to have her. Welcome Nemo (her Trek has shark teeth on the top tube, but she is a softer soul than Jaws, and finally found her way- or maybe it was Dory who got lost in Finding Nemo? Anyway).

Pitstop showed up early for the B Team, eager to reclaim her Strava segment from the driveway to the bathroom. It looks like she has more competition from Special K in the field segment.

The B Team picked up Duracell near Blackhawk, where there was also a Super Q sighting on KP, riding her mountain bike. Vintage was curiously lurking at Blackhawk, an odd spot to wait for the A team to arrive. His porn stache is hard to miss. There was dissension in the ranks at Cleveland and Deer Run, hills known to bring Drafters to tears. When in doubt, CLIMB. That’s the Drafter motto, and apparently only BrickO was in doubt. Oddly, after the Deer Run descent and before the Cleveland Climb, BrickO and Cujo traded frothy smiles. A solo B+ drafter, perhaps?

The A Team was in full assault mode. Granny, still riding her 40 pound Bianchi, after failing to have it stolen earlier in the day when she left it unlocked at Lakeview Park, and carrying Squirrel’s water bottles, claimed the QOM crown on Deer Run. Blurple was quick to ease BrickO’s pain of losing the coveted crown by pointing out that 1) Granny is much younger than 73, and 2) it wasn’t even close, so there’s no point in trying to reclaim the crown. And so it goes.

Octane played a pivotal role in preparing Granny to claim the QOM, carefully protecting her from the headwind with his massive calves. “Ya know, it would be so much better if these massive muscles could be used for cycling.” He also leveraged his position in the draft with the promise of brownies. Like his calves, not to be underrated.

Octane was the only one who delivered. As he ran low on fuel during the climb up Deer Run, Vintage encouraged him to “just keep climbing. I’ve got Swedish Fish to get you through the bonk.” Only he didn’t. The only thing Vintage delivered on was his stache. Skipper, his beard freshly shaven 8 hours before the draft, left a little something behind.

The mustache mystery is a fun one to solve. Here’s another: there is a new Drafter coming in November 2022. A dozen of Octane’s brownies for the Drafter who can guess the lucky couple!

Next week’s route will take the Drafters through scenic Enchanted and Spring Valleys. NOTICE (Slow Cow): the route will start near Lakeview Park (see GroupMe for the address). Thanks to LuLu and Columbus for hosting. NOTE (Slow Cow): the map and GPS note Glacier Ridge Road, so start your Garmin but realize it won’t find the course until you are on Airport Rd. NOTICE (Slow Cow): There is NO DRAFT ON MEMORIAL DAY.

RidewithGPS link Spring Valley

For those seeking a short pour, please find solace in the Pine Loop. Turn left on Pine off of Spring Valley, and then left on KP. From there, follow the cue sheet above to return safely to Middleton.

Draft responsibly,
BrickO

The Farmer’s Almanac long term forecast for Mondays is a four letter word. Too short for Wordle, and easy to guess if you ventured outside: W I N D. With that, please enjoy/tolerate lyrics from one of the top 15 songs about windy days by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band:

It seems like Monday
Drafters ready to go
Zephyr was lovely he was the king of all pulls
Grinding up Viaduct with the BMC rolling slow, and
And the miles that we shared
The segments that we claimed
Caught like a wildfire out of control
‘Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove
And I remember what he said to me
How he swore that it never would end
I remember how he rode by me oh-so-tight
Wish I didn’t cramp now cause I didn’t drink then

Against the wind
We were bikin’ against the wind
We were old and strong, we were bikin’ against the wind

21 Drafters blew in, including one Newbie, Zephyr. Drafting behind this mountain of a man made the 40mph head wind home feel like a gentle breeze. 23 if you count Badger and Columbus, who drafted their own route for ice cream. The Drafter Executive Committee will convene later this month to determine if their dairy land dare qualifies as official Drafter miles. The language in the policy for attendance needs to be reviewed in order to avoid controversy over the coveted end of the year awards for 10+ rides and highest attendance.

The B Team started out as a full dozen, but Gopher and Thing 1 decided running against the wind with a flat tire and loose rotor, respectively, was a losing game and employed Plan B. Turning around before Dane, the duo swapped road for mountain bikes and played dirty.

It was new bike day for Squirrel. And with electronic shifting comes great responsibility, like charging your battery before drafting. A time penalty was served for tardiness as Squirrel was delayed to juice up. Eager to claim Strava segments on the first half of the ride with the wind at his back, Squirrel meekly asked his wife, Granny, to carry his water bottle. Since Granny is already burdened with a 40 pound steel Bianchi, what’s the difference of a few more ounces? What does the Squirrel say? According to northamericannature.com, screeches, rattles, barks and snorts. Kuk, muk-muk and quaa sounds are used to show an interest in mating. He went with, “I’m the luckiest guy, ever.” Muk-muk.

The B team was boss, with Wampus leading the Peloton, literally and figuratively. Wampus has more miles on her Peloton bike than on Bubbles, her well weathered Trek (not weathered enough as you can still make out the white bubbles on her hot pink frame).

The B Team took the “divide and conquer” approach to the wind. With the peloton gap growing, Special K, Footer and Pipes formed the Lantern Rouge. An interesting formation, they opted to ride 3 wide. Perhaps they all wanted to feel the wind through their hair? Special K is presenting a bill to Drafter Congress, making Monday night rides illegal with winds over 15mph. “I was giving it all I had and still couldn’t hit double digits” was the complaint filed in the higher courts by Justice Special K. Drafting officials clarified the laws on drafting responsibly: drafting implies riding in single file, not in a horizontal straight line. Special K will be subjected to remedial training before the next draft. Footer was so disheartened by the wind that she opted out of the post-draft draft.

Knievel has been racking up mega miles, a perk of recent retirement. It is amazing how many miles you can fit into those 40+ hours! It is also amazing at how many bandaids are required to keep this guy in one piece. Knievel is interviewing stunt doubles for the next Draft.

The A team was hunting Strava Segments. Granny was excited to have earned a crown…. which lasted 10 seconds, before Cujo uploaded her Garmin data to Strava. Cujo also captured the Strava segment from the garage to the bathroom, a crown formerly held by Pitstop.

Next week we will face the Formidable Festge, a 33 mile adventure with a few climbs to keep those Strava QOM/KOM hunters in the game. Once could easily skip skip the lollypop on Cleveland and Deer Run to lessen the elevation and miles (stay on Timber to Old Sauk Pass).

RidewithGPS link to Formidable Festge

Keep you eyes open for tracking information on the 10th Year Anniversary Kits from Hincapie Sportswear. A gentle reminder that these packages need to be signed for. You can create a FedEx account and approve an indirect signature if you won’t be home at the time of delivery.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO