Riders on the storm. 23 Drafters set out with blue skies and nothing ominous on the radar. Apparently, many with nothing on their radar at all with respect to course directions. The only thing tracking the route was a wicked storm.

Directions have never been Shaq’s strong suit, but she has other outstanding attributes, like matching Hincapie kit and cooler unit.

The B team ran into trouble early on when they discovered that Woodland Road was closed. The Drafter reconnaissance crew is being brought up on charges. An investigation into the delinquent behavior is currently underway. Any Drafter wanting to file a formal complaint should send their statement, along with a check for $100 and bottle of whiskey to Drafter HQ. The fee will help cover the cost of treatment for wild parsnip damages incurred by those who walked responsibly alongside the construction. Granny, our Drafter dermatologist, is on call for all your skin needs.

In his second Draft, Spigot seized the opportunity to step up as B Team Attitude Adjuster, leading the group in song.

 What would you think if the road was in ruin?
Would you stand up and walk in wild parsnipey?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
And I’ll try not to sing out of key

… Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Not all Drafters took the Road More Closed. “Two roads diverged on Woodland, and I—I took the one less traveled. And that has made all the difference”, Footer and Pipes reflecting on the road to Missouri Tavern. Their route has been dubbed the “shot pour” to distinguish it from the short pour. It’s 100% full proof. Or at least 100% proof.

Previous Drafters have taken the road less traveled before, only to find Missouri Tavern closed on Monday evenings. Some paths are only open to those with open minds and empty shot glasses. It has been proposed that one Draft be dedicated to supporting local establishments. Since the reconnaissance crew is on probation, volunteers are needed to set up this important ride, which will hopefully take place in mid-July.

Dan-yelly took a road even less traveled. Diverting from the short pour in an attempt to merge with the full strength riders, the A Team was surprised to pass her going the opposite direction around Crystal Lake. There were also multiple sighting of Slim, who neither started or finished with the group, but magically appeared with a burrito bowl from Lupes.

The majority of the A Team also followed Vilks and the road less traveled. Or more accurately described by another poet, “When you come to a fork in Lee Road, take it”.

The A Team started out together. About that….

To date, Drafters have shown exemplary riding etiquette, respecting traffic laws as demonstrating solid pack riding skills. We got a little sloppy on Monday. A few reminders directed to every drafter, as we ride as one pack:

1. Stay in your lane. The center line is not a suggestion. If a car is trying to pass up a blind hill, taking up more of the lane can increase safety, but at no point should anyone be near the center line.
2. Follow your line. Potholes and gravel are abundant. There are two schools of thought on how to handle these, both have merit. Some riders like to call and point out gravel and holes. Others prefer both hands on the wheel, expecting the rider behind to follow their carefully chosen line around the obstacle. Both are effective. What is NOT safe is weaving around an obstacle, such that the rider on your flank has to abruptly adjust.
3. Anticipate gravel on corners. Please give other riders a wide berth.
4. Two riders abreast. No more.

The main arteries out of Middleton (Pheasant Branch, Airport and Schneider) are where we get into the most trouble. Excitement is high and road quality is low, especially on Pheasant Branch. To help increase our safety, please consider riding SINGLE FILE on these 3 roads. We can regroup after County K, County P, and Enchanted Valley intersections, respectively, and then enjoy some socialization once we are beyond these busy roads.

The last photo evidence before the fork in the road where the group diverged. BrickO, Midas and Cannibal elevated their status to the A PLUS Team for following the Crystal Cat course as scripted (minus Woodland Rd, as the Road Closed sign was a strong clue to reroute).

The rest of the yardbirds took a right at the fork, but ultimately rerouted to Crystal Lake. And then they rode just past the finish line so that their Garmin read an even 40. Because who can live with a Strava post of 39.9 miles???

There were many versions of Crystal Cat full strength, short pour and shot pour but all ended with the same sky turning dark as lightening bolts flashed in the west. The race against the storm was on. Keez got a late start so chose to ride the course backwards, which meant she came across Dan-yelly. The two got a little wet but avoided the hail. Octane and Car Wash were plenty wet but not from the rain. Octane was a bit puzzled by the Drafter handle given to Car Wash. “What am I, the Final Rinse?”

The rain prompted the post-draft shenanigans to reroute indoors. Z Wrecks pulled out a fine bottle of wine, emanating hints of cherry pie and a wet saddle. Vilks commented that the cork looked new, which concerned Cannibal deeply. “Do you usually buy wine with a used cork?” And this is why drafting responsibly is so much easier with beer. Twinkle Toes was debating staying a bit longer to sample the cherry pie, wet saddle vino when he received a text, “Are you walking home?” His daughter was in the driveway, ready to drive her father home in the storm. Wine has to breath, it can’t be rushed. And that’s why there’s muscle milk. And whiskey. And beer.

The storm wasn’t the only thing delivered on Monday. The wonderful news of Thing 1 and Vintage’s baby boy was delivered during the Draft. We raised a glass to toast the birth of our newest Drafter! Welcome. You are already so loved.

WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS:

Congrats to Keez on getting back to crit racing after her accident and surgery. She’s been crushing it on gravel, and now tearing it up at ToAD.

Sometimes the greatest challenge isn’t a race, but doing something out of your comfort zone.

Shaq wasn’t the only one getting dirty this weekend. Congrats to Z Wrecks on the Belgian Waffle Ride in Hendersonville, NC. Not only did he race well, but he stopped to render medical attention to two riders in need. That’s a win worthy of more than a podium or medal. Selfless to the end, Z Wrecks brought two bottles of Belgian beer back for the greater good of the Draft.

And just to the north of Belgium, our Swedish contingent was Drafting Responsibly (but without helmets).

Monday July 1 we will Draft from Crossroads Coffeehouse at 2020 Main St in Cross Plains. Departure times 4:45 and 5PM. Please park behind the building or along Bourbon Rd. There will be a full strength (36 mile) and short pour (23 mile) routes. Both hilly. When in doubt, climb. Any shot putters are on their own :). Please note: this is a different route from our initial ride from Crossroads. Be sure to download version 2.0. Feel free to order food, beer and ice cream post-draft or BYO dinner. There is a lovely patio to hang out afterwards.

Link to RidewithGPS Drafters | Crossroads V2.0

Link to RidewithGPS Drafters | Crossroads Coffeehouse V2.0 Short Pour

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

It’s not the heat. It’s the stupidity. Too hot to ride? Not for 21 Drafters, including 3 newbies. Two Drafters came in hot (read: late) and two others put on a steamy gun show. Boom, boom, firepower. Z Wrecks vs Coach Arms. The winner?

Coach Arms brought incredible fire power for her gun show display. A more PC (physiologically correct) Drafter handle would be Coach Deltoids.

The 3 newbies signed up for the A Team. Rightfully so as all of them earned bragging rights and mitochondrial density at the Horribly Hilly Hundreds on Saturday. Hammer finished her first 200K HHH, and had enough heat left in her quads to crush Hillside. Car Wash also was fresh off the 200k HHH course, for the 18th time. He is a refreshing Drafter to draft, as his “glistening” skin provided ample cooling for those fortunate enough to be in his wake. Spigot would have done well to Draft Car Wash, but his trusty gravel stead was a bit too slow to catch any spray. Once back at base, our newest Drafter was issued a Draft Responsibly water bottle. As he extended his arms to catch the bottle, he anticipated it to be full of refreshing cold water. His expression was one of incredulity as he caught the empty bottle. Spigot now knows to FYO (fill your own).

The Drafter cartographer has been put on probation. Attention to detail on the section between Hillside Road and Brewery Road was lacking. Many U-Turn notifications were heard as the group rolled through Cross Planes. Vilks kept the group from panicking, “Hey, no chance the Drafters can’t sniff out Brewery Road.” The 4-fisted King of Beers and Milk (we are in Wisco) was not wrong.

Delighted to finally have GPS coordinates, Vilks, Keez and Slim put down the hammer on Stagecoach Road. Their 35mph pace was too much for the rest of the team. Sweating and swearing were the only things happening at a high rate of speed. Car Wash had plenty of competition for claiming his Drafter handle. Skipper made his first high heat index Draft, and decided to sweat his jersey clean off. Never leaving his wing man, Vilks was standing by with refreshments.

Plagued by dehydration, many Drafters congregated in the driveway, waiting for somebody to turn on the spigot.

Those who made it to the backyard were relieved to find the Solo Stove not burning brightly.

Shaq brought some magical high protein cookies that were responsible for reviving many of those Drafters who lost energy through blood, sweat and tears. There were many requests for the recipe, posted below.

There might have been additional ingredients…

WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS: Congrats to all those Drafters who finished the Horribly Hilly Hundreds, from their first to their twentieth, the event never gets old (although we do): BrickO, Z Wrecks, Gopher, Vilks, Octane, Hammer, Spigot, Car Wash, Puma, VonQ, Squeak and JRad. Tremendous thanks to the many Drafters who volunteered for the April climbing clinic put on my Madison Multi-Sport (way to go Coach Midas and Comet), the May pre-ride and Thursday packet pick up at Erik’s: Bomber, Belle, Octane, Cannibal, Z Wrecks, BrickO, Shaq, Vilks, Thing 1.9 and Gopher. And to our creative Drafters, Pepe and Duracell for helping with the slogans, “Ride the Rise” and “This Hill Socks” for the jersey and socks, respectively. This is arguably the toughest single day event in the Midwest (hell, the country), and is certainly the flagship local event. To volunteer time and energy (literally, during the climbing clinic and pre-ride) to support the Friends of Blue Mound State Park is one of many qualities setting the Drafters apart. Thing 1.9 didn’t think twice about volunteering at 39 weeks pregnant, but did send Vintage out with a honey to-do list unrelated to the HHH. You are a pretty special and unique group. Thank you. Hope to do it again in 2025 (HHH is always the weekend of Father’s Day, for those who want to put it on their calendars now). Car Wash says it is the best gift to be able to ride and have his family at the finish. Awww. Cannibal and Vintage, will this resonate next year?

ROUTE FOR MONDAY JUNE 24: There will be full strength (35 miles) and short pour (26 mile) options for next week. The short pour heads out the same direction, but doesn’t travel far enough north to view Crystal Lake, and returns home on the bike path (saving a few hundred feet of elevation). Departure times will be at 4:45 and 5PM. Now that daylight hours are long, for those who have work conflicts that preclude them from making a 5PM departure, please feel free to start a bit later. The full strength route to Crystal Lake is to commemorate the 2021 rescue of a kitten by Keez and Squirrel.

Full strength link: RidewithGPS Drafters | Crystal Cat

Short pour link: Drafters | Short Pour CC

REMINDER: the Draft will leave from Crossroads Coffeehouse in Cross Planes the first Monday of every month. Look for a route from Crossroads on July 1.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

With apologies and royalties to Simon and Garfunkel, a happy twist to a beautiful but dark song. We’ve had enough darkness these past few rainy Monday.

Hello sunshine, my old friend
I’ve come to ride with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
We want to Draft on Monday

In restless dreams, I rode alone
Lodi road of cobblestone
‘Overeth the pot hole of a street damp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That bright tail light
And broke the string of bad luck

And in the Varia blinking light, I saw
Ten thousand Drafters, maybe more
People riding without speaking
People riding without listening
People riding bikes with chamois never shared
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of drafting

20.9 Drafters came out to play in the sunshine. Thing 1.9 came on foot, since drafting responsibly while 39 weeks pregnant is best done on two feet rather than two wheels. We are excited for the arrival of our newest Drafter! She and Vintage made a delicious pan of brownies that went to waist.

With Slim late to the party, and still recovering from Unbound XL, the A Team had to find a new leader. Vintage came in hot, proclaiming, “I blew. It went everywhere (referring to his tire sealant, of course)” Some men are just born to lead.

He led us right up to the B Team. It was wonderful to have the whole gang together for awhile.

Black Hill is a bugger of a climb. (Side note: Pit Stop is on record admitting that she enjoys climbing more than riding in a head wind. Future rides will take that into consideration). As the Drafters regrouped at the summit in a driveway, two men came running from the house clapping their hands and hollering. Stunned, we stood their in our spandex, trying to make out what names we were being called. A disgruntled man in a pick up truck had given us a few new nicknames earlier in the ride, and so we were primed for another verbal assault. Not the case. Turns out the men were calling their dogs, who they assumed were chasing us. Imagine their surprise when the dogs came running out of the house to chase their owners! Who let the dogs out? (Who, who, who, who, who?)
Who let the dogs out? (Who, who, who, who, who?)
Who let the dogs out? (Who, who, who, who, who?)
Who let the dogs out?

Angry man yelling. Nice men yelling. Hard to know, sometimes.

The descent on Black Hill aided by a tailwind gave a boost to our average speed. For some it made sense to punch it, for others it seemed like a “sprint in middle of nowhere”. Perspective is a funny thing.

There have been very few, if any, official sprints during the Draft . None that have been recorded for posterity (Strava segments don’t count). That all changed on Monday night when BrickO challenged the strong trio of Vintage, Twinkle Toes and Keez to a town sign sprint.

Knievel entertained joining the fun until he consulted his fuel gauge, “I had 25 miles in my legs for a 31 mile ride.”

Keez made the first move. Vintage took the bait. But in the end, it was Twinkle Toes who wheeled in big fish. Those quads aren’t just for show. They have some serious go.

In addition to the Town Sign Sprint, which may become a weekly occurrence, there were a few other “firsts”. Midas led Drafter Yoga. Rimshot’s reaction: “I’ve never seen that before!” He put down his beer, Vintage finished off his delicious brownie and they joined Midas. Namaste.

The Drafters pride themselves on spanning 6 decades. Which means an in inadvertent butt dial could set off a Silver Alert. Pit Stop’s expression says it all.

Fortunately, Pit Stop was able to verify her location and state of mind. Perhaps not the case for our long lost Slow Cow, who sent this photo, update and request for Drafter handle change to “Tour Slug”:

“I though Dane County roads were getting a little crazy. Here you have Forest Road meth heads, logging trucks, bears, and mountain lions.  A local ride leader (kind of your equivalent) asked me if I wanted to see the local mountain lions dens (notice plural) on a local route.  Nope I’’ll pass. He is a retired airfare para rescue dude with one lung (he left the other someplace in Afghanistan). He is insane. Reminds me of you – just a little more soft!”

WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS

Congrats to Belle, Bomber and Momma Monster on competing in the Epic Bike Fest in Hayward over the weekend. Green is easy to find in a crowd and looks good on the podium, Momma Monster!

Turns out black is pretty easy to spot as well… an epic photo by Belle as she drafted responsibly.

There aren’t any great photos from our Trek 100 participants, Nemo and Shaq, as they rode in a deluge. Congrats on persevering!

Feel like you’re missing out on events? The Horribly Hilly Hundreds is this weekend and there is an extra ticket available. Reach out if you feel the need to suffer on Saturday. Not sure if this is your year for HHH? Volunteer this Thur at Erik’s Bike Shop from 2:30-7PM at packet pick up and get a FREE ENTRY for 2025!!! Text BrickO for details. We could use more Drafters to help out.

DIRTY DRAFT UPDATE: seems only fitting that the first dirty draft got rained out after 30 minutes. Watson barely escaped a falling tree on Slice. Phew. Note: future drafts and dirty drafts will not test Mother Nature. Better safe than crushed. Keep an eye out on the Dirty Draft Group Me for changes (no organized ride next week). Perhaps a Tuesday night will draw more folks? There are other groups riding Tue/Thur on the road and on the dirt, which was the reason for Wed. It might take a few weeks/months/years to get it rolling. Maybe I’ll turn it over to these two Dirty Drafters!

SWIP RIGHT if you are looking for a 51cm carbon R3 Cervelo with Ultegra Di2. Likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Let’s call a spade a spade. The ride for next week is called HILLSIDE. Departure times at 4:45 and 5PM from Middleton Hills. There is a 31 mile full strength and 25 mile short pour.

RidewithGPS link Drafters | Hillside

RidewithGPS link Drafters | Hillside Short Pour

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Oh, my, my, oh, hell yes
Mother Nature put on her party dress

Name tags may be required for our next Draft. Between the holiday and rain cancellations, we may not recognize one another. We will have to rely on quad recognition software. Several Drafters will have to rescan their quads due to massive hypertrophy over the weekend.

Congrats to our UNBOUND FINISHERS, Keez, BrickO and Slim! Each chose their own adventure: 50, 100 and …… 350 miles.

Closer to home, Cookie Monster and Minnow Monster conquer their own version of Unbound. It is never to early to get dirty.

Nor is it too late. Keeping it in the family, Momma and Papa Monster draft responsibly in Glacier National Park.

Sad to have missed beer floats? We will return to Crossroads Coffeehouse on July 1. Let’s recycle our Good Fellow route for Monday, June 10. This is a 31 mile route (no short pour). Departure times from Middleton Hills at 4:45 and 5PM.

Ridewith GPS Drafters| Good Fellows link

Trail conditions pending, the Dirty Draft will kick off Wednesday June 12 at 5PM from the CXC trail head. Dirty drafters will head to Blackhawk (trail pass required- they are not expensive) and then finish with beers at the Pleasant View golf course clubhouse.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO