Editor’s note: there was a grave reporting error in last week’s Drafter statistics. Columbus and Daisy rode the short pour, and were inadvertently missed during the head count. The tally has been corrected to reflect a RECORD HIGH 31 DRAFTERS!

The Garden Party attendance bloomed at 28. A good day to climb, and climb we did. 2000ish feet over 29 miles, including the Beast of Barlow. Slow Cow drafted alone in the late afternoon, sending periodic updates from the course, which also served as proof of existence!

Fresh from their wedding reception, LuLu and Columbus along with bridal party members Gopher and Daisy vowed to draft responsibly.

The B for Bad A** group was mighty. Apparently, garden drinks are an inspiration. Helios made his first drafting appearance since enlisting in 2020. Knievel, recovered from his last stunt, also reenlisted.

Coach Arms even took a break from the rink to cool off with a garden drink. Nitro, who had not yet met the hockey phenom was gassed, “Wow, I figured you must be Coach Arms. I would love to put a 14 gauge IV into those veins.” The things anesthesiologists get excited about…..

The A Team was also in full force. BrickO and Z Wrecks feigned Garmin route upload failure, part of their ploy to keep the group together, knowing the brutal climbs would keep em’ separated.

Par for the Drafter course, Booker J came in hot to the start.

The Hincapie jersey of choice was clearly beer and sprocket. It was awesome to see the train of green leave the station in single file, drafting responsibly. Well done, Drafters.

The drafting stopped and survival mode started at the bottom of Barlow. She’s a beast.

But Barlow was no match for Granny and Cujo, who hammered to the top, while Z Wrecks claimed the KOM for descending with the most G (or Z) forces.

No good deed goes unrewarded. After drafting responsibly, the Drafters were treated to Garden Drinks, mostly arugula with a little bit of gin. The recovery drink of champions. Gatorade , HEED, LMT and Skratch are all scrambling to uncover the formula.

Without Strava segments to distract the Drafters, they focused their efforts on consuming the Garden Drinks in record time. Cannibal had to make a second batch to keep the Drafters recovering responsibly.

Age Group notifications: Happy Birthday to Flash and LuLu. May the force be with you and your VO2max. The Birthday Fairies are considering some special gifts. For LuLu, a new “more senior” Drafter handle, Kid Tron. Flash has been noting some equipment failure during high speed chases, and a new battery pack for her superhero outfit has been ordered from Amazon. It is on backorder.

Octane baked a batch of brownies, which were accented nicely with chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal bars made by the hosts (thank you, Cannibal and Jen). BrickO brought candles for his next birthday (bad math, good intention).

It was a weekend filled with Drafter cycling extravaganzas. Congratulations to Vintage on his performance at the WORS Red Barn Classic. Turns out Vintage can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.

The Fitchburg Festival of Speed with never ever ever let Cannibal forget he’s the man.

In triathlon news, Flash made a splash in Benton Harbor at the Steelhead 70.3. Keez found her way to the podium at the Ames Triathlon. Well done!

Not quite race pace, these Drafters worked to bring a Sunday Funday community ride to Middleton. Check out Wheel and Sprocket no drop rides on Sunday at 9AM.

A round of applause for our Drafter of the Month, SANDLOT. Recovering from a ski accident has kept her from pushing hard on the bike. But she brings her experience and enthusiasm every Wednesday to help guide the W&S Women on Wheels rides. And that is after a long day of delivering compassionate and competent patient care. Sandlot is the recipient of the 2022 Nurse Excellence Award. You’re killing me, Smalls.

Since we have a week off for the July 4th holiday, legs should be well rested and ready to rock to Roxbury. This is an ambitious 42 mile excursion with some extraordinary roads and climbs, including Dunlap Hollow. The shorter pour option is to skip the turn onto Katzenbuechel Rd (mile 15) and stay on KP all the way to County Road V, turning right. This will remove ~5 miles and lots of elevation.

The Archies song “Sugar Sugar” may be playing in your head as you climb, with some modified lyrics.

Dunalp
Oh, hollow, hollow
You are my climbin’ hill
And you got me wanting you

And you got me f- wanting you
When I climbed you, hill
I knew how sweet a watt could be

RidewithGPS link to Roxbury (Dunlap Hollow)

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Near record high June temperatures brought about a near record number of 29 Drafters, including 3 newbies. There were some tired legs post- Horribly Hilly Hundreds, accompanied by big smiles. One big smile made the cover photo of the HHH. Welcome to the Draft, GQ.

Our other two newbies are well trained to take care of all your pain needs. Recruited by Pit Stop and Duchess, we now have two anesthesiologists who will monitor your vitals during the Draft and recommend the perfect post-ride cocktail to minimize your pain. Sadly, one of them will be drafting soon from NC. Welcome Charlotte and Nitro. More gas, please.

The B for Bad A** team had an excellent showing. 16 Drafters blasted into the furnace. Speedy came in hot, forgetting her helmet but remembering her cooler with post-draft beverages. Loose Screw jumped a flight from Montana, stopped home for a change into Drafter gear and pulled up on the tarmac ready to ride, with fly fishing lure still in hand. Gopher was running a bit lean after the HHH, hoping not to run out of fuel completely. He had his foot on the pedal, eager to arrive home before Badger to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Late to that party would be a big hole to dig, Gopher. Swimming in the humidity, the B Team found Nemo and also discovered Busch Latte at Riley Tavern, drafting responsibly.

The A team had a respectable showing of 13. The ground rules for proper drafting etiquette were reviewed (see incriminating evidence from previous draft). The team improved, but still has a ways to go to meet Drafter Code. Squirrel took to heart the warning not to cross the center line. Riding so far to the right, Squirrel ended up on the gravel shoulder. Just once. No fur went missing. Our group is well received in the community (at least, I hope so). Riding more than 2 abreast on country roads and single file when cars are present is non-negotiable and the price of admission. Draft responsibly.

Vilks was pretty in pink. So pretty, the Drafters were checking his 23andMe to see how much Greek blood flowed through his veins. To the surprise of all, Vilks is 98% Pomeranian.

When the Strava hunters got ahead of the Draft, Vilks weaved back and forth in a failed track stand attempt, successfully leaving no Drafter behind as they waited for the light to turn green. Karma is real. A few miles later, Vilks dropped a chain and Midas didn’t lose her touch, calling for backup. Vintage circled back to pick up the Pomeranian in Pink.

Han Solo was the only solo fired up this week. There was no need to stoke the solo stove in 96 degree weather. There was, however, a call for some serious rehydration.

WEEKEND REVIEW: Congrats to LuLu, Skipper, Gopher, Z Wrecks and Booker J who participated in the Horribly Hilly Hundreds on Saturday. The HHH is usually a Sufferfest, but thanks to Mother Nature allowing for a 75 degree day with negligible humidity and wind and superb support by Race Day Events, those 10,000 feet of climb over 127 miles didn’t require anesthetization. A shout out to Zach at Blue Mounds Bicycle Works for opening his shop at 6:30AM and supplying Gopher with a SRAM battery, which he forgot at home on his countertop. To his credit, it was fully charged.

As with all endurance events, smiles and ATPs are plentiful in the beginning.

And then, as Skipper’s socks and Gopher’s hand gesture indicate, things go south.

But all is well that ends well.

Looks like the Drafters have GQ on the front cover and LuLu on the Strava podium. Or, he would have been on the podium had he not waited for his teammates at the the rest stops. Humble warrior that he is, LuLu said, “Ha! That number wouldn’t motivate me. I am stoked about the ride we had– wouldn’t change a single moment.” And THAT what we love about the Drafter Family. Strava certainly has a place in cycling, as does Drafting together. Keep it real.

Not all Drafters were on two wheels. Footer took the crown at her first Barefoot Competition since 1999. Baby got back.

Not all wins are athletic. Congrats to the Dark Knight on leading the UW Dept of Orthopedics Research Draft.

CHAMOIS SHARE: Booker J overheard some female Drafters talking about discomfort of their lady parts while riding. “I KNEW it! I KNEW it! Girls talk about their parts, too.” Oh, Booker J. So much to learn. This revelation prompted him to share a chamois story. “When I first started cycling, nobody told me not to wear underwear under by cycling shorts. I kept waiting to hear other guys complaining about their guy parts, cuz mine were all chaffed and irritated. Finally, somebody told me to lose the underwear.” So much to learn.

The ride on June 27 will be hosted by Cannibal and will start from Woodhill Circle in Verona. Check GroupMe for an address. We will celebrate Cannibal’s BIRTHDAY with Garden Drinks afterwards. Aprons are optional.

RidewithGPS link to Cannibal’s Garden Party

There will be no Draft on Monday July 4.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Mother Nature sure knows how to throw a party. Gale force winds and heavy rains swept through Dane County, forcing the 4:30 B team to succumb. By 5:30, the skies and roads were clear and dry, respectively, although the same could not be said for Skipper’s driveway.

Octane provided the inspiration for the Drafters to come out of their storm cellars and ride in solidarity.

Almost. The C team was created for those riders recovering from Covid and not yet on their A game.

Comet and Midas came in hot at 5:30, but were unable to park in the driveway as Booker J took up all 3 stalls, redefining his limits using his VIP Tarmac pass.

Casually exiting his vehicle, jaws dropped as he unloaded his new Specialized Tarmac with added rotational torque. Booker J no longer needs his small chainring, apparently. Or perhaps the electronic shifting manual has yet to be reviewed? Granny is eagerly awaiting the arrival of her Specialized Tarmac, outfitted with lead water bottle cages to keep her from winning all the QOMs.

Everyone opted for the extra mileage on Lodi Springfield Rd, a 3 mile out and back with stunning views of the Lodi Marsh. The marks for creativity were slightly impacted by the required U turn. The Drafter cartographer has been notified. Expect a figure 8 in 2023.

Hit-the- Wall made his debut and a resolution to not hit the wall in 2022. Hanging with the group until Dane, he assessed his metabolic state and made the mature decision to turn back for Octane’s brownies.

There were also some signs of not drafting responsibly. A gentle reminder that we need to be respectful of our place on the road. It was wonderful to have a chill ride as a single group, but we need to socialize with no more than two riders abreast at all times and do not cross the center line (exception can be made for snot rockets).

CONGRATULATIONS

We have another Drafter couple soon to be on the alter. Congrats to Bomber and Belle on their engagement. They both are ready to say “I do” to another dirty gravel adventure, the Lutsen 99er.

Congrats to Vintage on his Bronze Age Group finish at WORS!

Congrats to some of the Drafter XXers for completing the weekend challenge: 2 Kokoro yoga sessions, 2 MTB rides, 30 mile road ride, 1 sazerac and 1 maiden voyage Lake Lounger cruise without bodily harm. All activities were fully fueled by cookies from Cookie Monster.

Congrats to Sandlot and Duchess on drafting responsibly to church. It doesn’t appear to be Vermont Church, as indicated on the route sheet, but this is a freedom we support.

Congrats to Sully for inspiring another group of women to cycle, including the better halves of Billy Boy, Loose Screw and Queenie. Sharing a post ride draft with these women was a hoot. Billy Boy’s wife has a code phrase for “leave me alone”, which is “I find myself most fascinating”, right up there with Amelia Earhart. While discussing the logistics of changing a flat tire, Loose Screw’s wife pointed out that calling an Uber is a viable option. Welcome to the Draft, Earhart and Uber. The Drafter mission is to include women spanning at LEAST 5 decades to draft on Monday nights. We have achieved that for men, but it is time for Title Nine to come to the Draft.

CHAMOIS SHARE: This week’s column on chamois shame is one near and dear to my… parts. In the early days of Ironman triathlon, tri suits did not exist (one-piece suits with a minimal chamois that doesn’t act like a diaper in the water, provides sufficient protection during the bike, and minimizes saggy baggy during the run). Most female triathletes in the early to mid 90s wore 2-piece Speedo swim suits. The downside: no bike chamois. The upside: easy bladder relief and easy clean up on the bike. In 1997, during the Vineman in Santa Rosa, CA, BrickO was racing with two bottles on the bike: one with water and one with Gatorade. Attention to bladder evacuation protocol was lost and Gatorade was added to the dribble, creating an interesting Wapatui concoction. A critical decision had to be made: dump the remaining bottle of water to ride sticky free, or keep the remaining water for hydration?

THE HINCAPIE STORE IS OPEN THROUGH MIDNIGHT FRIDAY JUNE 17. Orders for the 10th Anniversary kit, MTB jersey and winter jacket is now open through this Hincapie Drafter Store link. If you have an item that doesn’t fit to your specifications, there is a good chance another Drafter would take it off your hands (or back). Give a shout out on GroupMe. If you want to try before you buy, shoot me a text.

Considering the Horribly Hilly Hundreds this weekend, the route for Monday June 20 will be a relatively benign 31-mile trek south. Special K is appealing her 2021 Epic Loop case to the higher Drafter court, objecting to the lack of guidance riding around the closed loop containing Epic, the Verona based electronic medical records giant. Seems the Judge can navigate difficult decisions impacting our world, but struggles to ride in a circle. Therefore, the Epic Loop no longer subsides in this epic ride. Case closed. Next.

RidewithGPS Epic Riley Route link

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

15 Drafters headed to Church. The B Team was unified in spirit and Hincapie Drafter kits, but shared few watts (20% off any non-custom Hincapie item with code SBRICKSON) With the impending vertical challenge of 2410′ feet, 4 B team members departed at 4:30, with Z Wrecks and Speedy trailing behind at 5 and 5:15, respectively. Queenie started on his own and joined up with the B Team somewhere out on the long lonesome highway west of Middleton.

When asked about the early start, the former 2-time Olympian bluntly stated, “I like short rides, short hills and short shorts. This is none of those.” Footer backed up her teammate, “I averaged 12mph two weeks ago and haven’t biked since. I’d like to be in before dark.” Special K brought snacks to last through the evening. And so, they were off.

The A team was small but mighty, thanks to the addition of Madison Multisport coaching and cycling phenoms, Comet and Midas. The blue Trek cyclocross bike with knobby tires looked like a hindrance, but the Comet road that thing like a rocket. Welcome to the Draft! His bride, Midas, does not appear in the official Excel Drafter files dating back to 2018, but there is confirmation from trusted sources that she is a card holding Drafter. Midas has not lost her touch. No longer racing on the triathlon circuit, she touches so many lives through coaching, helping endurance athletes reach their goals. Back in her days as a massage therapist, she literally had the Midas touch.

“Turn the Pedals“, lyrics by Bob Seger shamefully modified to meet our Drafter newbies.

On a long and lonesome highway
West of Middleton
You can listen to Comet’s engine
Moanin’ out his big watt song
You can think about his cross bike
Or the girl you know is coming for you

But your thoughts will soon be wandering
The way they always do
When you’re ridin’ 38 miles
And there’s much climbin’ to do

And you don’t feel much like climbin’
You just wish the hill was through

See here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on Barlow
Here I go
Draftin’’ star again
There I go
Turn the cranks

The B Team stopped at Church for reconciliation as Pitstop’s Garmin Virtual Partner had already completed the ride. “Are we really only at mile 15? I think I need a new virtual partner”.

The A Team was plagued with chain drops. The group climbed the hill to church, looking for guidance. There were whispers of sabotage to keep Cannibal at bay. Octane feigned a pull on KP just to slow down the pace before dropping a chain on Barlow, forcing Cannibal to stop and render assistance, in compliance with the Drafter code.

One thing Fo’Sho, Forshaug Rd was worth the watts. The ski slopes of Tyrol Basin are the Midwest version of a Rocky Mountain high.

Barlow is a beast. Fortunately, we came from the south and mostly enjoyed descending the beast. Skipper hit upwards of 50mph and attempted to keep enough speed to make it up Barlow’s little rollers without pedaling. He was 18 strokes short.

The threatening sky was all talk, no action. The action came in the form of Z Wrecks’ Sazeracs, which took the chill out of our bones and put a wobble in Cannibal’s walk.

There was much to celebrate over a Sazerac. Belle and Cujo rocked the Unbound Gravel 200, a true measure of grit (and grime as it rained heavily most of the day).

Belle wasn’t the only one playing in the gravel. Slow Cow completed the Italy Divide, 1250k of gravel, riding ~50 miles per day with 30 pounds of gear. There are no signs of this drafter slowing down. He has his sights set on the Trans Balkan Race in 2023. For every Slow Cow there is a Pigman.

Keez took the podium for 1st Collegiate Woman at the Pigman Triathlon, Olympic distance. No matter how many women signed up. A win is a win, and this one wearing her new colors representing the Wisconsin Triathlon Team.

Not all victories include a podium. Fighting back from a torn ACL takes grit, too, and Sandlot is well on her way to a victory.

The Drafter mission is to encourage cycling at all levels. There are not enough women out there, and it is our goal to help get them started and empower them to keep riding. BrickO, Sully and Sandlot will be leading beginner level rides for Wheel and Sprocket in Middleton every other Wednesday at 5PM. If you or someone you love needs help pedaling, please join us.

Madison Women’s Cycling Club is committed to this mission as well, an enthusiastic group of riders who welcome all levels. They meet Tue evenings at 6PM at the Biergarten at Olbrich Park.

Looking to rock out without a bike? Check out Queenie with SuperTuesday this Thursday at Concerts on the Rooftop. Tickets are free. Beer is not.

On that note, the route for Monday June 13 is Rock of Ages (32 miles) with the option to add a few extra miles riding to Lodi (38 miles total). Be sure to download the right tune.

RidewithGPS Rock of Ages Plus Lodi link

RidewithGPS Rock of Ages link

We will conclude this post with our weekly CHAMOIS SHARE, or perhaps CHAMOIS SHAME. This one comes from Vintage.

“When I first started riding in Pittsburgh I didn’t know anyone else that rode. I went to REI and bought a pair of what I thought were bike shorts. They were actually just liners. I wore them with nothing on top for good for 5 months, to group rides and everything, without anyone telling me that they could see all of my a**crack. Thank goodness this was 12 years ago in a different state or else I may not be able to show my face on two wheels around here.”

Draft responsibly,

BrickO