Ciao! The Drafters were well represented in the Giro d’ Italia. Ok, maybe not, but 4 of the initial 13 members drafted responsibly in the hills of Tuscany. Grazie to the Italian Job (aka Colin O’Brien) at CycleSport Travel for setting up an incredible 9 day tour.

A huge thanks to Captain Joe and Tennille for hosting last week. Temperatures were as cool as the 9 Drafters who showed up to draft the Spring Valley loop. Booker J‘s cool factor was elevated when he joined both the A and B teams. Slow Cow’s cool factor feel a few degrees as he was sighted on the route, but without draft protection. Slow Cow showed up at Free House the previous Monday, the drafter starting line in 2019, so he is definitely trending in the right direction.

Cool riders were welcomed back to a warm meal (thanks to Tennille) and a hot fire.

We will roll into June with one of our favorite rides, Take Me to Church. For those not wanting a full confession, you can skip Church and ride the Brains and Brawn route (staying with the group on Union Valley, turning left on Braun, retracing the route back after turning right on KP).

Ride with GPS link: Take Me To Church

Sending extra watt wishes to Belle and Cujo who are signed up for Unbound this coming weekend. Go get em’, Ladies!

Interested in some rides with a little less oomph? Check out these excellent rides benefitting the Boys & Girls Club and JDRF, and sign up to ride with BrickO’s Drafters.

MOVE4BGC July 16

Lake Ripley Ride July 30

CHAMOIS SHARE: have an interesting chamois story? Send it in! There will be a prize at the end of the year for the best chamois story. What constitutes the best? There are no rules, or even guidelines. There may be an opportunity to vote, but certainly no democratic process.

This one submitted by the Italian Job: In the old days, chamois were made from leather. If that wasn’t bad enough, this one guy on the US cycling team would flip the shorts inside out to ride. No shi*t.

*The Italian Job is a former US hour record-holder and was around when chamois were leather and tires were solid rubber, and square.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The Drafter scribe is currently unavailable, purportedly packing feverishly for an early departure to Italy. Underscore feverishly, as two negative home Covid tests and a negative PCR test have not explained the 8 days of symptoms. While green is her favorite color, this is taking things a bit too far. Apparently, only Supreme Court Justices are able to call in antibiotic favors, which is why the Drafter scribe made off with Special K’s water bottles in hopes of sipping some medicine. The scribe also made off with three of Octane”s espresso porters and two coconut chocolate gluten free brownies, so the healing is bound to begin. So, this post will be brief and to the point. And most likely include an abundance of typos. Please be kind.

25 Drafters, including two newbies, faced the Formidable Festge, many donning their fabulous new Hincapie kits celebrating our 10 YEAR DRAFTING RESPONSIBLY ANNIVERSARY! The group was a bit discombobulated from the start, with four Drafters going rouge at 4:30PM. Nothing like a little head start to make more time for drinking beer. Pipes was struggling with her Garmin. Apparently, the course she loaded last week recommended making a U-turn throughout the entire route. Special K ate all her snacks while waiting for Pipes to upload the route. Draft responsibly. While these four were early, Slow Cow was late to the Draft. Like 3 years late. Somehow he didn’t get the memo that we moved the start from the Free House to our house in 2019. No matter. He needed to recover after conquering Italy Divide.

In addition to the Rogue Group, there was a short pour for two!

The 5:15 group had the usual suspects, and some new suspects. Tick Tock brought his significant other. Riding out of town, BrickO commented on how svelte he looked (this is sensitive territory as Tick Tock is more than just eye candy), and he responded that his girlfriend had him on a strict workout routine. “I may look like a Cadillac, but I drive like a Model T”. Welcome to the Draft, Sargent. It appears you have Tick Tock at full salute. Our second newbie found out about the draft several years ago when she and BrickO were both at Middleton High School dropping off forgotten items for their respective children, while wearing cycling jerseys. It took her awhile to enlist, and we are happy to have her. Welcome Nemo (her Trek has shark teeth on the top tube, but she is a softer soul than Jaws, and finally found her way- or maybe it was Dory who got lost in Finding Nemo? Anyway).

Pitstop showed up early for the B Team, eager to reclaim her Strava segment from the driveway to the bathroom. It looks like she has more competition from Special K in the field segment.

The B Team picked up Duracell near Blackhawk, where there was also a Super Q sighting on KP, riding her mountain bike. Vintage was curiously lurking at Blackhawk, an odd spot to wait for the A team to arrive. His porn stache is hard to miss. There was dissension in the ranks at Cleveland and Deer Run, hills known to bring Drafters to tears. When in doubt, CLIMB. That’s the Drafter motto, and apparently only BrickO was in doubt. Oddly, after the Deer Run descent and before the Cleveland Climb, BrickO and Cujo traded frothy smiles. A solo B+ drafter, perhaps?

The A Team was in full assault mode. Granny, still riding her 40 pound Bianchi, after failing to have it stolen earlier in the day when she left it unlocked at Lakeview Park, and carrying Squirrel’s water bottles, claimed the QOM crown on Deer Run. Blurple was quick to ease BrickO’s pain of losing the coveted crown by pointing out that 1) Granny is much younger than 73, and 2) it wasn’t even close, so there’s no point in trying to reclaim the crown. And so it goes.

Octane played a pivotal role in preparing Granny to claim the QOM, carefully protecting her from the headwind with his massive calves. “Ya know, it would be so much better if these massive muscles could be used for cycling.” He also leveraged his position in the draft with the promise of brownies. Like his calves, not to be underrated.

Octane was the only one who delivered. As he ran low on fuel during the climb up Deer Run, Vintage encouraged him to “just keep climbing. I’ve got Swedish Fish to get you through the bonk.” Only he didn’t. The only thing Vintage delivered on was his stache. Skipper, his beard freshly shaven 8 hours before the draft, left a little something behind.

The mustache mystery is a fun one to solve. Here’s another: there is a new Drafter coming in November 2022. A dozen of Octane’s brownies for the Drafter who can guess the lucky couple!

Next week’s route will take the Drafters through scenic Enchanted and Spring Valleys. NOTICE (Slow Cow): the route will start near Lakeview Park (see GroupMe for the address). Thanks to LuLu and Columbus for hosting. NOTE (Slow Cow): the map and GPS note Glacier Ridge Road, so start your Garmin but realize it won’t find the course until you are on Airport Rd. NOTICE (Slow Cow): There is NO DRAFT ON MEMORIAL DAY.

RidewithGPS link Spring Valley

For those seeking a short pour, please find solace in the Pine Loop. Turn left on Pine off of Spring Valley, and then left on KP. From there, follow the cue sheet above to return safely to Middleton.

Draft responsibly,
BrickO

The Farmer’s Almanac long term forecast for Mondays is a four letter word. Too short for Wordle, and easy to guess if you ventured outside: W I N D. With that, please enjoy/tolerate lyrics from one of the top 15 songs about windy days by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band:

It seems like Monday
Drafters ready to go
Zephyr was lovely he was the king of all pulls
Grinding up Viaduct with the BMC rolling slow, and
And the miles that we shared
The segments that we claimed
Caught like a wildfire out of control
‘Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove
And I remember what he said to me
How he swore that it never would end
I remember how he rode by me oh-so-tight
Wish I didn’t cramp now cause I didn’t drink then

Against the wind
We were bikin’ against the wind
We were old and strong, we were bikin’ against the wind

21 Drafters blew in, including one Newbie, Zephyr. Drafting behind this mountain of a man made the 40mph head wind home feel like a gentle breeze. 23 if you count Badger and Columbus, who drafted their own route for ice cream. The Drafter Executive Committee will convene later this month to determine if their dairy land dare qualifies as official Drafter miles. The language in the policy for attendance needs to be reviewed in order to avoid controversy over the coveted end of the year awards for 10+ rides and highest attendance.

The B Team started out as a full dozen, but Gopher and Thing 1 decided running against the wind with a flat tire and loose rotor, respectively, was a losing game and employed Plan B. Turning around before Dane, the duo swapped road for mountain bikes and played dirty.

It was new bike day for Squirrel. And with electronic shifting comes great responsibility, like charging your battery before drafting. A time penalty was served for tardiness as Squirrel was delayed to juice up. Eager to claim Strava segments on the first half of the ride with the wind at his back, Squirrel meekly asked his wife, Granny, to carry his water bottle. Since Granny is already burdened with a 40 pound steel Bianchi, what’s the difference of a few more ounces? What does the Squirrel say? According to northamericannature.com, screeches, rattles, barks and snorts. Kuk, muk-muk and quaa sounds are used to show an interest in mating. He went with, “I’m the luckiest guy, ever.” Muk-muk.

The B team was boss, with Wampus leading the Peloton, literally and figuratively. Wampus has more miles on her Peloton bike than on Bubbles, her well weathered Trek (not weathered enough as you can still make out the white bubbles on her hot pink frame).

The B Team took the “divide and conquer” approach to the wind. With the peloton gap growing, Special K, Footer and Pipes formed the Lantern Rouge. An interesting formation, they opted to ride 3 wide. Perhaps they all wanted to feel the wind through their hair? Special K is presenting a bill to Drafter Congress, making Monday night rides illegal with winds over 15mph. “I was giving it all I had and still couldn’t hit double digits” was the complaint filed in the higher courts by Justice Special K. Drafting officials clarified the laws on drafting responsibly: drafting implies riding in single file, not in a horizontal straight line. Special K will be subjected to remedial training before the next draft. Footer was so disheartened by the wind that she opted out of the post-draft draft.

Knievel has been racking up mega miles, a perk of recent retirement. It is amazing how many miles you can fit into those 40+ hours! It is also amazing at how many bandaids are required to keep this guy in one piece. Knievel is interviewing stunt doubles for the next Draft.

The A team was hunting Strava Segments. Granny was excited to have earned a crown…. which lasted 10 seconds, before Cujo uploaded her Garmin data to Strava. Cujo also captured the Strava segment from the garage to the bathroom, a crown formerly held by Pitstop.

Next week we will face the Formidable Festge, a 33 mile adventure with a few climbs to keep those Strava QOM/KOM hunters in the game. Once could easily skip skip the lollypop on Cleveland and Deer Run to lessen the elevation and miles (stay on Timber to Old Sauk Pass).

RidewithGPS link to Formidable Festge

Keep you eyes open for tracking information on the 10th Year Anniversary Kits from Hincapie Sportswear. A gentle reminder that these packages need to be signed for. You can create a FedEx account and approve an indirect signature if you won’t be home at the time of delivery.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Mother Nature may not be giving us much in the way of sunshine, but the Drafters have been sharing plenty of warmth and light. A shout out to Diesel, a draft from the past, who recently moved back to town and was spotted by BrickO and Z Wrecks drafting responsibly. Diesel and his wife are expecting their second baby this week, and we expect to see him back drafting between diaper changes.

Another ray of sunshine broke through Pheasant Brach Conservancy on Friday. It is hard to believe this mutt (Wyatt with his purple bow), and mullet (Vintage) cleaned up so nicely as groomsmen for LuLu and Columbus.

While LuLu and Columbus were celebrating their first week of marriage, a few other Drafters were celebrating varying decades of life. Sully, Pipes and Granny span over 3 decades of Drafter spirit. It is up to the reader to figure out who was born in which decade. Spoiler: Granny is a misleading Drafter handle. Guess responsibly.

Happy Birthday, Pipes! We appreciate you keeping us flexible, or at least able to reach the handlebars without incurring serious structural damage.

Octane, Special K, Loose Screw, Speedy and BrickO are green with envy, and vow to become stamp collectors on May 13, 2022. Seriously, how cool is this???? Pipes is too humble to announce this stamp release, and the Drafters are too proud of her to let it go unannounced.

With so many bright spots in the week, the gloomy weather and 50 degree temperatures on Monday were easily overlooked. 20 Drafters showed up with brains and brawn.

Five Bad A** Drafters set out towards Cross Plains to conquer Braun Rd, our first challenging climb of the season. The pre-ride wardrobe texts had the airwaves jammed up until 5PM. Winter coats and shoe covers were standard issue for most Drafters, but there were some daring to be baring legs.

The Italian Job, Wampus, Blurple and Super Q made their 2022 debuts.

Granny acquired her handle after completing her first Draft using only the small chainring. New to cycling, she quickly got the hang of shifting out of the granny gear. Now she’s stuck in the big ring…. even up the climb on Braun, leaving most of us in her dust. Cannibal yelled at Granny to dig deeper on the climb, and went on record to say that the verbal lashing was per her instruction, and therefore not in violation of the Drafter code. While there is no doubt Granny has shifted into a strong rider, she struggled to turn on her blinkie light. Luckily, the Italian Job was on the job, making sure Granny’s tail light was shining brightly as she left us all behind on Braun.

Blurple was the clear winner of the OVER-UNDER award. A dead battery left him little option for changing gears as he was grinding up Airport Rd at 40 rpm, and then down the other side at 140 rpm. Fortunately, Octane had baked a batch of brownies and the Over-Under Champion was able to refuel at the finish line.

Next week, we will venture north through Dane and under the historic viaduct, circa 1880. A slight deviation from previous routes, we will continue north to 100 Mile Grove Rd before returning home. For those Drafters looking for a shorter pour, an out and back to Dane is an excellent option.

RidewithGPS link Historic Viaduct 100 Mile Grove

The DIRTY DRAFT is back, Tuesday nights at 5PM at CORP trails near you. Check the Dirty Draft GroupMe for updates, and be sure to consider joining at www.madcitydirt.com.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO