An unintentional blending of the A and B teams occurred on Monday.  Tom. Collins;   Corona. Lime; Brandy.  Old Fashioned;  Dark.  Beer;  Whiskey.  More. These are natural couplings.  A and B teams. 23 Drafters.  Not so much.  When Cannibal announced that the A team would be leaving at 4:45, most mortals translated that message to mean the B team should leave at 4:30 or earlier.

Skipper’s translator must have been out on his new ski boat.  He showed up as the A team was gearing up. “Sh*t.  It’s just 4 fast old guys and me.”  Good to differentiate by age and speed.  Cannibal, Rimshot, Blurple and Booker J were a blur before long.

Our professional team photographer, Drone Master, was on site to capture the essence of the Draft.  Except he missed BrickO and Z Wrecks.  When you help build something solid, it can stand alone, without you.  That mature and worldly statement came after intense sensitivity training (remedial) provided by Cannibal and Company.  Discount Code: lil fkrz.

Duchess, per us, struggled with more than just the ride.  While Skipper’s translator was altogether absent, Duchess’s Garmin was translating the route in Suomi, a Finnish language not common in Dane County.  Skipper, wanting to redeem himself in the art of translation, offered up “gelande quaffing“.  Intrigued without knowing exactly what that entailed (sounds like a decadent dessert), Sandlot asked Duchess if he would like to head home and have some.  Duchess, no longer showing any signs of suffering, quickly accepted the invitation. Side note: this blog is powered by PowerDot, the smart electrical muscle stimulator, with performance enhancement and improved recovery settings. 

The evening was rowdy.  The lawn caught fire, which was a definite improvement over the smoke two weeks ago prompting an air quality index alert for Glacier Ridge Rd. Skipper brought his favorite beer to share, a curious construct of habanero and cinnamon.  Blurple was the Master Sampler, eagerly accepting Skipper’s Mayan Mocha Stout and a sip of my Big Bad Baptist. The professor had class at 9:30PM. We will be reviewing his performance next week.  I think there is a PowerDot setting for that, as well.

Not everyone opted for habanero and cinnamon beer.

Speedy heated things up dancing around the ring of fire, and hubby Duracell got down to his socks.

Gopher returned for his second Drafter appearance.  He failed to bring his famous brownies, but brought something even sweeter.

Speaking of sweet things, Cookie Monster showed up for her second ride of the season, multitasking to make it happen.

Pres made his first Drafter appearance of the 2020 season. He bought an official Drafters jersey on ebay.  Who knew that was possible??

If ebay doesn’t have what you are looking for, the Hincapie store is giving us one last opportunity to buy Drafter gear.  Store closes Sun Oct 4 at midnight. Do not use the discount code noted above.

Hincapie Custom Order 2020 BRICKOS link

North of the lawn and ring of fire… Congrats to the Chequamegon 40 finishers!

Next week we will head towards Lodi, abbreviating the route to honor the Sun Gods who are taking a bit more each day.  Black Hill is a killer. But fun.  The route is 28miles, so we need to hustle.  If possible, B team 4:15 wheels up, with the A team giving a wide berth with a 4:45 departure, and Skipper somewhere in between.  If enough folks can continue to leave early, we will keep Drafting into early October.  Be nice to hit Easy Street and Riley Tavern 25 mile routes before we call it quits.  Please check your email for a Survey Monkey concerning the Drafter Year End Gala on Oct 10th or 11th.  Prizes and beverages will be served.

Download map and cue sheet: Black Widow

Garmin link: Black Widow

Draft responsibly,
BrickO

In summary of Cannibal’s 2000+ feet run up Timber, Barlow, Mineral Point, Witte, and oh yeah, Timber again… he’s sweet but he’s psycho.  A taste of my own medicine, perhaps?  So grateful for another Drafter to craft a route and host the shindig afterwards, I barely complained.  Define barely: the interval of time after 1000 feet of climb and before 2 garden drinks and 4 monster cookies.   Ava Max said it best: Sweet But Psycho

Oh, he’s sweet but a psycho
A little bit psycho
Monday night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma hill’s a grind”
Oh, gin drinks but a psycho
So green but it’s right though
At night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma hill’s a grind”
He’ll make you climb, cause he’s Cannibal
He’ll rip your Strava within a second
You’ll be coming back, back for seconds
In your dinner plate, you just can’t help it

No, no, you’ll ride along
Let him lead you o-, o-, on
You’ll be saying, “No, no”
Then saying, “Yes, yes, yes”
‘Cause he messin’ with your head

Oh, he’s sweet but a psycho
A little bit psycho
Monday night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma hill’s a grind”
Oh, gin drinks but a psycho
So green but it’s right though
At night we’re screamin’
“I’m-ma-ma-ma out my mind”

The B Team fueld up for Cannibal’s Run with help from a fresh baked batch of cookies delivered just in time by Cookie and lil’ Monster.

Footer, Belle, Speedy, BrickO, Queenie, Duracell and Loose Screw stayed together for all of 10 minutes.  By the end of Midtown Road, the B team was minus Queenie and Footer. There was report of Queenie joining the Flat Tire Club,with Footer dutifully executing her Drafter duty of lending mechanical and emotional support.  The remaining B team reviewed the Drafter bylaws (always good to have an attorney present- thanks, Belle) and unanimously voted it was appropriate to pedal on. Why stop at one? If you are going to join the Flat Tire Club, go big or go home with as many tubes you can secure from the B and A team members. The A Team was hungry like the wolf, catching the B team in record time.  Speedy yelled, “Car back!”, mistaking the sound of the fast moving A team machine for a motor vehicle.

The A Team dropped a tube for Queenie.  They were in a dropping sort of mood.  Averaging 23mph until Barlow, Cannibal announced, “let’s stick together.”   LuLu called BS and Vintage opted not to listen to the command.  In fact, LuLu and Vintage were rogue from the start, opting to ride from Middleton to Cannibal’s beautiful house in the woods as a “warm-up”.

A Team: Booker J, Cannibal, Rimshot and Bomber (LuLu and Vintage warming up)

The A team cannibalized one another, pushing the limits of quadriceps power.  The destruction was clear by the conversation afterward. LuLu: My legs are tingling.  Rimshot’s Garmin indicated that he required 41 hours of recovery. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go into work tomorrow.”  Booker J’s Garmin recovery forecast wasn’t so ominous, perhaps because it curiously continuously registers 17mph.  While that is a favorable report climbing Barlow, relatively speaking that meant the rest of the A team had to be climbing over 40mph.  “I thought I would die here on Barlow, alone.” In the throes of desperation he was seen kicking at his derailleur and throwing a water bottle at his chain, hoping for a mechanical issue that would invoke the Drafter code and temporarily cease the climbing pain.

Booker J decided to contact Garmin with a complaint: “Dear Garmin.  You suck.”  To which Garmin responded: “Dear Booker J.  Please remove the protective sticker from the Garmin screen and you may notice the numbers changing.”

The Drafter Board is considering sensitivity training for all members. The A team, as rough and tumbly as they appear, have feelings, too.  Rimshot, in a moment of vulnerability, expressed sadness over not being included in GroupMe.  While an unintentional oversight by the IT department, it also came to our attention that he also feels some sadness when not mentioned in the blog.  Rimshot is much nicer than he looks.  A reminder that one cannot judge a book by its cover.

The Drafters were treated to the generous hospitality of Cannibal, his wife (who needed tube educated on the n+1 rule) and 3 German Shepherds, and fresh baked cookies by Cookie Monster. Belle was particularly taken with the house and hospitality.  “Do you think they’ll mind if I move in? I can sleep with the dogs.”  Mind you, they each have a very inviting bed with a killer view of the woods.  Dances with Wolves, Sleeps with Dogs.  Sounds like a Kevin Costner movie.

Vintage doubles up on monster cookies

Speedy does the math: half a Solo cup = half the alcohol content

Speedy, Z Wrecks, Queenie, Booker J, Footer, Rimshot, Jen, Bomber, Belle, Loose Screw and Duracell enjoy garden drinks by Cannibal (LuLu and Vintage already departed on their bike ride home)

Late but not forgotten, Dan-yelly rolled in just after sunset.  “It is a bit eerie out here riding after dark.”   Talk about dancing with wolves!

Dan-yelly feasting after a hard solo ride

The days are getting shorter and so will the rides.  Next week we will sip a Tom Collins, a short 28 mile route.  There is an option to take the bike path home after crossing Hwy 12, shortening the route to 25 miles. Staggered start per norm, 4:30, 4:43 and 5:00PM departures. Pizza and ring of fire to follow.

PDF map and cuesheet: Tom Collins

RidewithGPS link: Tom Collins

Garmin link: Tom Collins

The Dirty Draft has had a run of bad weather.  The sun finally cooperated.  Great to see Octane and his buddy Rudy, Stout and his buddy Mike, Speedy and kiddos at Blackhawk yesterday.  Reminder that Blackhawk membership is required to ride and registration is open: Link for Registration.

The Speedsters Hang 10 with BrickO

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Here is an updated hills with love from Cannibal and Rimshot.

Ride with GPS Link

Download map and cuesheet: Cannibal Ride

It is nothing compared to the Tour de France stage 15 many of us watched this morning.  But we are not Pogacar.  We will suffer like Bernal.  And like it.

I’m taking the liberty to cannibalize the blog for the sole purpose of celebrating my daughter’s first triathlon today.  Due to Covid, I declined the 9 hour round trip to witness 1:24 of her glory, but I was there in spirit. First collegiate female, 4th overall female!

Full of pride, I had some emotional bandwidth left to revisit  my first sprint triathlon, also during my senior year of college, with my PT classmate and lifelong friend.  What I  remember most clearly is that her helmet was on backwards during the bike leg.  Helmets were a bit different back then- much harder to tell the front from the back of a dome that sat a foot above your skull.   The equipment has come a long way, but the feeling is the same ….

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

GroupMe notes the address. Staggered start, beginning at 4:30.  Garden drinks afterwards.

GPS Link: https://ridewithgps.com/routes/33985612

Only a few hills on this route. Octane is acclimated.

Keez, not so much.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The last ride in August was perhaps the most scenic. Pleasant Valley and Old Indian were new to many Drafters, but riding them felt as old as time itself. The staggered start for this 40 mile adventure spread out 16 Drafters, but all came together at the Ring of Fire.

Ring of Fire may have you thinking of the Man in Black, but you should be thinking about the US Forest Service.

With a Drafter’s hat and bottle, and a kit of Hincap-ies you will

find him on Glacier Ridge always sniffin’ at the breeze. People

stop and pay attention when he tells em’ to be-ware, ‘cause

ev’-ry-bo-dy knows that he’s the fire pre-ventin’ Chair.

You can take a tip from Speedy and there’s nothin’ like a blow, cause they’re

good for spreading Covid and igniting flames real slow, you just

have to look a-round you and you’ll find it’s not a joke, to

see what you’d be mis-sin’ if you weren’t blinded by the smoke.

You can call upon the Bomber and he’ll make you feel the heat, you won’t

cough and choke and tear up any -more, you won’t retreat.  He will

let you take his pizza and pre-tend he’s not so smart, but 

don’t you dis his fire for he has Pyro in his heart. 

NO RIDE ORGANIZED DRAFTER LABOR DAY. The following Monday, Sept 14, we will be departing from Cannibal’s house between 4:30 and 5PM. Garden drinks will be provided. The route looks to be roughly 25miles. Check GroupMe for the address and hopefully cue sheet/map/GPS link will be provided before the gin.

Draft responsbily,

BrickO