Back to Church FoSho or Forshaug

The first Draft of August brought a hint of fall. 21 Drafters explored the woods of Wisconsin, some with arm warmers and one particular California native in full winter apparel.

The staggered start was executed beautifully. Dark Knight and Derby (who is awaiting new Drafter handle assignnment, as Dark Knight will serve both Dark n Derby roles in the upcoming Funtathalon) left at 3:15, leaving plenty of time to shower and shave before enjoying the post-draft festivities. Derby is not the only one seeking a new identity. The Dark Knight showed little knightliness. The Draft caught sight of the power couple on Kingsely (how prophetic), with the Dark Knight well out of Draft range, leaving Derby without protection. You never, never leave your wingman. John Denver warned against this behavior:

Almost heaven, Wisconsin
Middleton Hills, Viaduct Road to Dane
I feel old there, older in my knees
Younger than the mountains, draftin’ in the breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
Wisconsin, mountain Dark Knight
Take me home, country roads
Dark and Derby, ridin’ on Kingsley
Misty taste of dairy farm, sweat drop in her eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
Wisconsin, mountain Dark Knight
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice in the drafter hour, she calls me
The Garmin reminds me my home is far away
Bikin’ down the road, I get a feelin’
That I shouldn’t have dropped her on the way, on the way.

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
Wisconsin, mountain Dark Knight
Take me home, country roads

Coach Arms intended to start early, anticipating her first postpartum ride might require a little more draft time. What she didn’t anticipate was the extra time required to quiet two toddlers. “I’m too late to be early”. Speedy’s son delivered her birthday pie on Wednesday, practicing the social distancing Canadian style. The hockey stick IS the standard unit of measure. Ya, heah?

The B team gave Arms a 2 minute head start before rolling out. Loose Screw came out for one last draft in this age category (happy birthday on Sunday). His parting birthday wish: “I’m following you. Please go slow.”

Footer, Pit Stop, Loose Screw, Arms, Duracell, Speedy and Queenie go Left on Johnson

The 4:43 group went off with a bit of a glitch. Pipes missed the B Team start, as she was checking on the well being of her Funtathalon teammate, Special K, and lost track of Drafter time. The accomplishment of running 100 miles (with a calf injury sustained walking her bike up Barlow the previous week) while being sworn in to the State Supreme Court is impressive. But the real challenge is yet to come…

The 4:43 group, aka Dan-yelly, was running late (that’s redundant). Pipes waited patiently (in full winter gear) as she watched the B team gap increase. A newbie arrived even later, adhereing to the Dan-yelly Time Principle. The three departed at 4:50, only to drop Pipes before the end of Middleton Hills (rough reports indicate 4:52). LuLu picked up the slack (not that Pipes is slack) and pulled Pipes out of town. Our newbie has earned the drafter handle, Ditch. He has much to learn about the ways of the draft.

4:43 group delayed, waiting for Ditch to arrive.

The A team was small in number, but mighty in wattage.

But the ultimate watts were released at 5:15. Rimshot and Blurple were a bit perplexed. “We arrived as instructed, but everyone was gone.” Yup. That’s exactly what a head start means. A plus, team.

The A+ team of Rimshot and Blurple start and finish strong… and with a beer cooler.

Rimshot made a noble attempt to dress in Drafter green. “When is the next Hincapie kit order?”, Rimshot inquired. Drafter response: “The online store closed last week. Didn’t you receive the (dozen) emails?” Rimshot: “Well, yeah, but I had to see if the Drafters passed my one month litmus test.” We bike, we drink beer. What other questions do you have, Rimshot?

Irrefutably, the best post-draft beverages since inception in 2013 were served. Cannibal has been promoted to head mixologist. Sensitive to nutrion and dietary needs, Cannibal made a garden salad with gin.

The female cohort voted unanimously to hire Cannibal to serve drinks at Girls Cabin Weekend 2021, in a French maid outfit, with bikeshorts. “Hey, I cook, too.” Don’t sweat it Cannibal. You’re in.

Speedy, Pit Stop and Footer vet Cannibal as head barista. ” I cook, too.”

The gin and arugula conconction was like truth serum for Speedy. Just two sips and endless bits of knowledge were flowing, and could not be stopped. Did you know that there is an organ shaped like a palm tree, and that the lymphatic system is the primary alcohol metabolizer? Me neither, and I teach Anatomy and Physiology. To be fair, there may have been more at play that the gin garden salad. Riding up Pheasant Branch just before the turn off into Middelton Hills, the smell of skunk was overpowering. The black and white creature was never spotted, but a plume of smoke coming from the Conservancy was curious.

The drinks weren’t the only fashionable backyard delight.

Drafter Style (?) LuLu and Pit Stop model socks and boots, respectively.

A few Drafters were granted an excused absence on the RHCP ride.

Belle was in Iowa, indoctrinating her off-spring to the sport.

Slinger was somewhere in the Driftless region, biking his way through 250 miles.

Kermit and Thing 1 were getting dirty in Hayward.

Thing 1 and Kermit Dirty Draft in Hayward

Noteworthy accomplishments: kudos to Vilks for scoring serious Trek swag, his incentive for completing the 1k challenge in July.

Vilks completes the Century Challenge- apparently just before his phone battery ran out of juice.

And to Bomber, the new poster boy for The American Birkebeiner.

The green Drafter hat stands out amongst the flags

A little preview of par excellance to come during the Funtathalon this weekend. The LEGEND will be in the rescue boat, and with a little encrouragement, may put on a footin’ show.