22 Drafters faced the Beast of Barlow, including Newbie member, Yoda. Showing up to join the B Team, he remarked, “I’ll try.” Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Special K started the Draft armed for battle, with snacks in both holsters.
It wasn’t the Beast that took Special K down. It was a broken rear derailleur cable. For her birthday last week, Special K rode a 100 mile victory lap around Devil’s Lake. I guess her bike aged less gracefully than its rider.
Kermit performed his Knightly duty, sacrificing his Strava segment up Mineral Point Rd to assist Special K. Or, perhaps, he was struggling to keep up with Blurple traveling at the speed of purple light and needed an out. Unable to reconnect the rear cable, he sped off to reconnect with the A team.
BrickO MacGyver’d the rear cable by fastening it to the chain stay with an extra hair tie provided by Pipes, rendering the bike safe to ride, albeit with only 2 gear options. Reluctantly, they voted unanimously to skip Braun, opting for the more downhill and direct route home on Garfoot. Special K lamented the fact between two bikes, she has a total of 3 gears and “1 good hamstring” (we had an anatomy lesson to clear up that misconception). Sounds like the Drafter version of the 12 days of Christmas… “3 working gears, 2 bicycles and a hamstring completely avulsed.”
Pipes redeemed her athleticism, stopping at the top of every climb for Special K without falling over. There was some mathematical debate about just how slow Special K could pedal before Pipes would tip over. Her new motto: “WHEN IN DOUBT, CLIP OUT.”
The A team showed up in full force. Almost. Belle got an early start, not out of fear for the Beast (although the A team could hear her gasping on Barlow as we were departing Middleton Hills), but to get home in time to open up Facebook market to sell her daughter’s childhood. Anybody looking for a good deal on American Girl stuff? Duchess also left early, and was sighted in Cross Plains wearing a disguise (red jersey). Sandlot told investigative reporters that he was baiting the A team, as if they need a carrot.
Skipper had himself a Draft. Chugging up each hill in his “big ring”, a 21-tooth cog, he would revive himself on the descents, fully recovered to pull Z Wrecks and Thing 1 home. He’s already endured a Drafter handle change, but if you called him “The Phoenix“, he would answer.
The A team caught the B team on Schneider and gave them a taste of what it means to Draft. Speedy exclaimed, “So this is what is feels like to hang with the big kids!” as they howled at 28mph without putting much wattage through the quadage. Dan-yelly, late to start with the B team was not privy to this drafting experience. “I was going so slow on the way home (and took a wrong turn in Cross Plaines) that the same deer fly kept biting me. I couldn’t out run it. It was just insulting.”
Surley rode late and solo, as he was working on the front lines until after 5.
Back at the yard, the A team consulted the medical professionals about signs and symptoms of a heart attack. “I thought Rimshot was having the big one on Barlow. Is it normal to breath like that on a hill?” It is when you are fueled by PBR. At least he brought his own beer this week. Cannibal self-selected the high-risk category, given his winter weight. His coconuts are a size smaller, but now Covid is making the road back to svelte a bit longer.
Apologies to the Polish Moon riders: beer, coffee and swag were feloniously but inadvertently withheld. Bad BrickO. Next time, remind me. Or just take them from the dining room table. Shirts should arrive soon.
Next week will be a classic, an all-around favorite: the Spring Valley Loop. Rumor has it that Booker J and Slow Cow will make an appearance. Wheels up at 5PM from CAPTAIN JOE’S HOUSE at Apprentice Place in Middleton Hills. Check GroupMe for the address. Pizza to follow, bring beer and lawn chairs per routine.
Garmin Link (this is from Glacier Ridge, not Apprentice Place, but Garmin will find it: Spring Valley Loop
RidewithGPS Link: Spring Valley Loop from Captain Joe’s
Download map and cue sheet: Spring Valley Loop from Captain Joe’s
Draft responsibly,
BrickO
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