Legal drinking age.   ____ Pilots. ___ Jump Street.  That’s the number of Drafters who conquered Black Hill, or as Speedy renamed it, Black Hell.  21 is a record high for 2020, virtually and really.

The Draft inducted 3 new members: jRAD, Special K and the Rock.  Captain Joe brought along his buddy, jRAD, a humble man of few words but many watts. Special K introduced the concept of snack time. We rivaled any kindergarten class for the number of snack breaks. Granted, Special K’s fuel stores were depleted after 60 miles earlier in the week, training for her Aug 1 century ride run, but a full stop for trail mix every 5 miles? The jury is out on her membership status. Verdict, Judge?

The Rock provided an excellent illustration of the laws of gravity while riding sweep with Z Wrecks.  Z would wait at the top, and the Rock would wait at the bottom.  Welcome Newbies.  May the Draft be with you.

Technically, only 20 Drafters reached the summit.  Draft Queen  conveniently missed the turn, which also led to missing the climb up Bitney.  Overcome with guilt and reciting the Drafter motto, “when in doubt, climb”, he did a  U-turn after his Bitney Rd descent as to make amends, one climb at a time.  Footage is being reviewed to determine if Octane summited Black Hill. He was sighted traveling the wrong direction on Brereton Rd, but for sure, Queenie and Octane made it back to base camp for beer and pizza.

There were departures for Black Hill from two gates at two times. There is no easy name to describe the 4:30 group. “Short Pour” is inaccurate, as they ride the same distance as the 5PM departure group. Not sure they ride any slower either, but as noted above, they pause often for snack time.  “Team Estrogen” is no longer approrpriate.  Maybe “Team Testostogen”? “B Team” was suggested.  But B Team isn’t really fitting for a 2 x Olympian, Supreme Court Justice, front line RN and anesthesiologist, former D1 hockey player turned coach (including players who went on to be Olympians), and world class barefoot water skier/ aerospace engineer.  The B is for BrickO, who pretty much made every B team, except the Spelling B, which she never qualified for. Every Achilles needs a heel.

The highlight of the B Team was finding Duracell waiting on Balzer, biding his time with the pack until the head wind home.  Fully charged, Duracell brought us home.

The 5PM group blew by the B Team on Kinglsey, led by Captian Joe, Vilks, jRAD and Thing 1.  Kermit trailed behind, looking but not wearing green, mumbling, “My legs are shot.” The following dialogue ensued, BrickO: Did you put in lots of miles this weekend? Kermit: No.  BrickO: Did you have a late night?.  Kermit: In bed by 10:30. BrickO: Did you have too much to drink?  Kermit: No.  BrickO: Some days we just don’t have it. Kermit: No response.

Huge thanks to Drone Master for hosting the post-Draft draft.  The outing is being formally reviewed by the Social Committe. According to “Party Etiquette Rules” posted by the Etiquette Scholar, the following observations are disquieting: 1) there were insufficient left overs for Tick Tock’s following day lunch, 2) gluten free pizza was not provided.  Fortunately for Vilks and Surly, Drone Master had prepared deviled eggs.

3) Water and beer, but not wine were available. Let’s not discriminate, shall we? Surly and Pit Stop wandered down the street in search of vino, finding their way to the cellar of Z Wrecks.

Late night wanderings are usually reserved for Slow Cow. He did not disappoint this week, wandering as far as Lodi Canning, Spring Valley and Black Hill undetected by Drafters.  GPS data is being reveiwed by the “I call BS Squad”.  All 3 destination photos arrived mysteriously and simultaneously Monday PM.

Let’s focus on who was NOT Drafting and examine the legitimacy of their absence: Belle and Bomber were in South Dakota riding a mere 100 mile gravel and 100 mile road virtual event. There were rumblings of leaving Monday at 3AM in order to make the Draft. No mystery who was rumbling… and who had the veto power.

Cannibal required the week to prepare for his major aging event next week.  A few of us are further down that road.  Happy 40th Birthday, Cannibal. There’s a roll of tape with your name on it.

E$ and Cookie Monster were tempted, but Audia had barely finished her first day of life, so they decided to wait at least another week before Drafting.  It is also apparent that smaller headbands need to be ordered. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

The Back Door to Church route for next week is brought to us by the late John Denver.

Almost heaven, West of Middleton

Mound View Mountain, way of Moen Valley

You feel old there, older than the trees

Younger than the mountains, draftin’ in the breeze.

Country Roads, take me home

To the place, I belong

West of Middleton, mountain mama

Take me home, country roads

Back Door to Church 40ish miles is pending ongoing chip seal and other random acts of road repair on JJ and H/HH.  The Drafter recon crew has been furloughed, but volunteers have stepped up to pre-ride the route on Saturday.  Stay tuned. An alternative route might be required.  5PM departure and post-draft fesitivies will resume at our normal spot on Glacier Ridge Road.  Pizza will be ordered.  $5 max donations will be tolerated.  BYO beers and lawn chairs. 

GPS link: Back Door to Church GPS

Map and cue sheet download: Back Door to Church

Draft responsibly,

BrickO