Congratulations to the 13 Drafters who let it Rip at the Lake Ripley Ride on Saturday. Here are some action and finisher photos. A big thanks to Footer for providing her cottage and boat for after ride refreshments and entertainment. Somebody (BrickO) had an altercation with fettuccini alfredo on Friday night and was still fighting the fight during the ride. Internal combustion may be a powerful force, but not one recommended for a 100k, regardless of how flat the course and beautiful the weather. Urgh. I was sorry to have missed the after-ride party.

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Drone Master was delayed in his finish and had to be photo shopped into the picture (can you even tell?). He had been detained by two different packs of riders who wanted to take a photo of his Drafter kit. His modeling career really took off on Saturday. Dress responsibly.

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The good weather continued for Monday’s Rock of Ages ride. We had a RECORD HIGH 23 DRAFTERS in attendance, including 2 Newbies and guest appearance by our Italian friend, KickA$$K. This tour stage started out a little rocky, as one of our Newbies forgot his shoes and then, while making a gallant effort in sandals, sustained a flat tire. Never before has a Newbie been inaugurated, joined the Equipment Failure (Fail to remember Equipment) club AND the initiated into the Flat Tire Club all on the same night. Welcome to the Draft, Sandals. We hope things improve after basic training.

Octane, feeling all of his seniority on his second Drafter ride, followed the Drafter code and stopped to assist Sandals with his flat (nothing to do about the footwear). “He had radio contact with his wife. There was nothing else I could do but ride on.” The committee will have to review Octane’s behavior. This is the second questionable Flat Tire Code of Ethics violation in as many rides (see Speedy’s infraction in last week’s police report).

Coach Arms had lots on her mind- so much, in fact, that she joined the ever growing Equipment Failure club that Pipes started two weeks ago in the famous Unicycle incident. Shoeless but determined, she drove home to fetch her size 11s and returned to the Draft, riding backwards until she encountered Speedy and Duracell. Happy Birthday to Coach Arms this week. Isn’t getting old grand?

The lead group set a blistering pace, with Bond Bernal in the Yellow, Cannibal sporting green and KickA$$K in the polka dot jersey (and not cause she’s cute in polka dots, but because this woman can CLIMB). There were some heated words exchanged during the stage. KickA$$K was sucking wind up a climb, and Cannibal lashed out, “I knew it wasn’t Tick Tock behind me. He doesn’t breathe that hard on a climb.” Bond was playing mind games with KickA$$K as well, noting, “I was climbing the Dolomites with my Dad. He fell behind. He didn’t ask me to wait.” Nothing shakes the polka dot. Good try, fellas.

The Chase 1 group, consisting of Tick Tock, Booker J, Skipper and BrickO was a solid 2′ behind (probably more, gauging by the beer in hand when we returned to the Free House). I watched the Tour de France closely this year and learned some valuable strategies: 1) Don’t try to out climb the climbers. Tick Tock and Booker J climb (way) better than Skipper and me. So I graciously watched them climb away; 2) Don’t try to outsprint the sprinters. Skipper is a mad sprint on the flats. So I obliged him, and Drafted as close as possible, doing as little work as possible, until we caught back up with the climbers. During this sequence of repeated events, I did feel a bit badly about my unDraftsmanlike conduct and inability to contribute. I also appreciated, after watching the tour and learning these lessons, how effective the strategy is!

I was dropped so badly on the climb up Bitney, I went so far as to swear off a post-ride beer. One small step towards improving my power to ass ratio. By the time Skipper caught us back up to Tick Tock and Booker J, I modified my vow to drinking beer less dark in color and high in calories. Once back at the Free House, I totally forgot how much I hate being dropped on a climb and ordered a Cashmere Hammer, the darkest beer on the menu. This is, after all, the Draft and not the Tour de France.

B2 Bomber took some heat for riding in the Peloton. KickA$$K traveled all the way from Italy to challenge Bomber for the podium, but he never made his move. Speedy was pleasantly shocked to be passing Bomber, and made no bones about showing it with a fist bump to the sky (she is already on probation, so this recent action will be closely reviewed by the committee). Little did they know that B2 Bomber was demonstrating character becoming of a Drafter in riding with our other Newbie. To date, there has never been a Drafter able to tame the Beast that is Bomber’s competitive spirit. As such, our Newbie will have the Drafter handle, Belle. Get it? Beauty and the Beast.

Back at the Free House, all heat dissipated as the cold beer flowed.

Drafter Illustrated is auditioning for the “TRICEPS SURAE” edition. Triceps surae is not a dinosaur related to the triceratops, but rather a fancy name for your calf muscles (medial and lateral gastrocnemius and soleus). Thus far, we have 3 entrants but only 2 signed waivers allowing for their calves to be photographed. BrickO is waiting for her images to be released by the team physician, Dr. Wampus. She has a unique condition resulting in a kankle like appearance due to an accessory soleus. Since she is technically a quadriceps surae, the committee must vote on her eligibility. To note: there is no aesthetically pleasing attributes to this condition, and certainly no athletic benefit in either jumping, running or climbing has been observed.

We also have one addition to the photo competition. The prizes this year will be stellar, so keep these Drafter photos coming.

Next week we will retry the Lodi Canning Ride. I hope to do recon before Monday’s ride to confirm that County Line Rd is no longer under construction. I’m a bit nervous about the 41 mile distance, given the rash of flat tire incidents we have been experiencing lately. There are short cuts, and I encourage you to take them if you sense a flat or nightfall coming on.

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Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The sea of green was cool and collected 20 Drafters . The oppressive heat broke and we were free to roll without humidity weighing heavy on our legs.  The heat was still on, however, as we welcomed Newbie, Octane, to the Draft.  Exploding upon ignition (so fast, in fact, that he was gone before the staring photo could be snapped), and burning out quickly up Enchanted Valley, the new flame will be a great addition.

The weather was cool, but Bond came in hot.  I gauged his fashionably late departure to be approximately 25min, as this was the time interval required to change Pipe’s flat tire.  While the sea of green flowed through the roundabout on Parmenter, the air flowed out of Pipe’s rear tire. I learned of her induction into the Flat Tire club from Speedy, who sheepishly acknowledged skirting the Drafter Rule “leave no rider unassisted” by telling me of the mechanical issue. I  turned back to find Pipes and the contents of her bike bag spread out on the lawn for a flat tire picnic.  Pipes was digging deep into the cerebral aspects of the task, carefully organizing a buffet line of tubes and CO2.  The mechanical aspects of the task, however, were less forthcoming. 3 CO2 cartridges and 4 letter words were misfired and then we were off.  Flying down Schneider on CO2 (burning slower than Octane, but still a respectable gas), I yelled “car back” as I heard the rev of an approaching engine.  Imagine my surprise to be passed by Bond. Get your motor running, head out on the highway, looking for adventure and the yellow jersey comes his way.  Bond started late but finished with maillot jaune.

Tick Tock is usually up for a good fight for the podium, but after 500 miles of cycling in the moonscape of MI, he was happy to collect his overdue beer at Longtable.

Tick Tock vowed he was wearing his vintage velo Drafter jersey last Monday while cycling in MI, but has no digital proof.  Team Drafter Moto photographer, Skipper, clearly needs a travel budget.  I’m partial to keeping him local, however, shooting the landscape.  In addition to his photography skills, which he attributes to a steady hand (I’m going to leave that one alone), Skipper is one of our more versatile riders.  He’s seen here in the lead out, Chase 2 group, and lantern rouge off the peloton, dutifully photographing riders throughout the tour de Spring Valley.

 

The days are starting to get shorter, as evident by the long shadows cast by these Drafters.

Thing 2 returned to the Draft after MIA for 3 years and was reunited with Thing 1.

In the words of Dr. Seuss,

‘i will pick up the pace.
you will see something new.
two things. and i call them
Thing One and Thing Two.
these Things will not bite you.
they want to have fun.’
then, out of the Draft
came Thing Two and Thing One!
and they biked so fast.
they said, ‘how do you do?
would you like to ride bikes
with Thing One and Thing Two?’

In other warm-and-fuzzy news, Footer and C-Monster adopted furry siblings that will  be promoted to team mascot.  Fitting, since we are dog tired after Drafting on Monday nights.

If you want to meet one of the mascots, please join Footer for the Lake Ripley ride this Saturday followed by a cold beverage and dip in the lake and her cottage.  All Drafters are welcome.  BYOBB (bring your own bike and beer). Lake Ripley Sign Up Link

 

Next week we will ride Rock of Ages. Be prepared to suffer as the climbs will demand you pump the wattage into your quadage.  Further suffering will incur as Def Leppard’s Rock of Ages lyrics, “Gunter gliieben, glauchen globen” will be unmistakably replaced in the space between your ears by “Bitten, Buethin, Brereton, Bike Path (??)“. I prefer to ride home on Woodland, but Bike Path is more consistent with Def Lepppard’s alliteration (and makes Tick Tock happy). Rumor has it that former professional cyclist, friend of Footer and Skipper’s, regular end of July Drafter by way of Italy, KickAssK will be rocking the ages on Monday.  Bring your A game, or solid excuses.

PDF map to download: Rock of Ages 35

Garmin Link: Rock of Ages Garmin Link

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

The full moon spawned a wild ride for 18 Drafters. We were a smooth blend of new and old: C Monster, Tobacco City Boy and Z Rex retrieved their circa 2014 Velo jerseys from storage while new additions Pipes and Thing 1 cut off the tags from their recently arrived 2019 Hincapie kits.

Fashioning neither vintage nor brand spankin’ new Drafter kits, Cannibal opted for the Peter Sagan look.  The green jersey wasn’t the only striking similarity to the Tour de France sprinter phenom.  It is hard to ignore (or stop staring, for that matter) Cannibal’s tree stump legs.  But, let’s not focus on the superficial.  Hell, some of us can’t focus at all.  Pipes arrived early only to realize she had left her water bottles on the kitchen counter.  Back in the parking lot with minutes to spare until wheels-up (or wheels down? I don’t know if the flight analogy works), the Drafters were amused as she unloading her bike, one sock on, one sock off.  Preparations seemed to working in reverse, as the other sock came off and helmet dropped to the ground. And that’s when I realized what else was amiss… the front wheel. This is a first for the Draft.  Tough Girl has forgotten shoes, BrickO her sunglasses, but never a front wheel.  The annual end of the season awards ceremony may have a new category.  In fairness to Pipes, when she does focus, you best step aside and let the woman kick ass.  See Humbled podcast below.  You will truly be humbled.

Link to Humbled Podcast: Karen Kraft Rigsby

The Back Door to Church route threw us a curveball.  Actually, not so much a curveball as freshly laid pea gravel on the Blue Mounds Trail.  Similar to Stage 10 in the Tour, the group split, half deciding to take the long clockwise way around the Blue Mounds Tr loop and the other half taking the shorter counter-clockwise direction. Technical note: unlike the Tour, the longer way is always the correct route on Monday night.  This caused a serious gap between the lead group (lead group being singular, Bond), chase group and those Drafters who were off the Peloton (namely Pipes and BrickO, due to aforementioned Unicycle debacle 20 min delay).

The ride was hot and dry and the support vehicles weren’t able to navigate the pea gravel on Blue Mounds Tr, leaving the Drafters thirsty.  Ask and you shall receive.  The back door to Church provided water from the holy hose.

Duchess needed more than water from a hose to rectify his physiological situation.  Sandlot had her medical kit, and rendered aid, once again.  As I came across the dynamic duo in Cross Plaines, Duchess looking 3 shades of pale begging for an IV as Sandlot dutifully wiped his brow, the Paul McCartney song “Maybe I’m Amazed” came to me.

Maybe I’m amazed at the way
You pull me all the time
And maybe I’m afraid of the way
I draft you

Maybe I’m amazed at the way
You pulled me out of time
You put me on the line
Maybe I’m amazed at the way
I really need you

Maybe I’m a man
Maybe I’m a bonking man
Who’s in the middle of something
That he doesn’t really understand

Maybe I’m a man
Maybe you’re the only woman
Who could ever help me
Sandlot, won’t you help me to understand?

Maybe I’m a man
Maybe I’m a dehydrated man
Who’s in the middle of something
That he doesn’t really understand

Maybe I’m a man
And you’re the only woman
Who could ever help me
Sandlot, won’t you help me to understand?

Maybe I’m amazed at the way
You’re with me all the time
And maybe I’m afraid if I don’t get an IV

Maybe I’m amazed at the way
You help me ride along
You right me when I’m wrong
Maybe I’m amazed at the way
I really need you
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Yeah, yeah
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Yeah, yeah

All is well that ends well. 18 Drafters made their way safely back to the Free House, in the hood of darkness, guided by an eerie and magical full moon. Songs were sung.  Two, in particular.  Happy Birthday was sung out of tune but with enthusiasm to celebrate Speedy (and MegaWatt, who aged up the day before). The full moon inspired Bond to break into Bonnie Tyler’s iconic “Total Eclipse of the Heart”.

 

Not to get too sappy, but I appreciate all of you.  The Drafters are much more than a group of people who ride bikes together on Monday night.  We are a family who celebrates the simple joy of turning the pedals, understands the overpowering drive to hammer to claim the town sign, waits for those who bonk or forget their front wheel, share in births, birthdays, graduations, deaths and everything trivial in between that is the essence of life.  Thank you all for joining the Draft, for being the Draft.

Let’s see if I can buck the trend of proposing a route that includes road closure or pea gravel.  No promises.  We are going to do 38 mile route, Spring Valley with a Northern Twist. The Pine Rd short cut lops off 10 miles.

PDF map to download: Spring Valley with Northern Twist Cue Sheet

Garmin: Garmin link FH Spring Valley with a Twist

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

A perfect evening for a Draft.  21 riders including one newbie, Sparky.  Like the Fourth of July fireworks, she lit up the Draft!  She might be green, but it won’t be long before she is wearing the green jersey, assuming she can figure out where the finish line is.  The Spring Valley to Springfield route was complicated, and we had many deviations from the intended route, some intentional and others not.  Sparky got lost early in the ride, but made it back to base and was able to do a set of planks, push ups and a yoga session to earn her beer at Longtable with the Drafters. Knievel described his ride as “free lancing”.  Our front line included the 6’5″ and over trio of Slow Cow, Billy Bob and Aquaman. It was like riding in a vortex down Schneider Rd.  It was a force so strong that it pulled Loose Screw’s Garmin right off his mount! Bond was reluctant to leave behind such Draft protection to chase down the lead group: Bomber, Tick Tock, Vintage and Cannibal.  He almost had himself talked into chilling with the peloton… and then I noticed the twitching. It started in his fingers and rapidly spread to his quads.  That’s the last I saw of Bond.  I rode much of the first half on my own, behind the break away and just ahead of the peloton, until what to my wondering eyes did appear, Thing 1 on her new Cervelo bike gear.  We took turns pulling until we caught the lead group.  And by taking turns I mean Thing 1 pulled and I held on to her wheel, until I couldn’t.  Alone again. And then I had my yellow jersey glorious victory dance on Lodi-Springfield.  The lead pack, or at least the ones still in my view, missed the hard right onto Rauls, plummeting down the hill they had to then turn around and climb. Victory was mine, briefly, and the Beatles song rattled in my brain.

Let me take you down
‘Cause I’m going to Lodi-Springfield
Cold beer is real
And nothing to get hung about
Lodi-Springfield forever

Drafting is easy with eyes closed
Green Drafter jerseys all you see
It’s getting hard to catch Tick Tock
But it all works out.

It doesn’t matter much to me

Let me take you down
‘Cause I’m going to Lodi-Springfield
Cold beer is real
And nothing to get hung about
Lodi-Springfield forever

A few Drafter Birthdays that I would like to toast: happy birthday to Caboose and Speedy!

The photo competition is starting to heat up.

 

 

We will head west next week and take the back door to church.

PDF map to download: Back Door To Church

Garmin Link to Back Door to Church

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Ten little Drafters went out to climb; Sandlot took a wrong turn and then there were nine.
Nine little Drafters pedaled at a very fast rate; Klutch rode home early and then there were eight.
Eight little Drafters thought Crystal Lake was heaven; Bond turned up the watts and then there were seven.
Seven little Drafters sprinted for kicks; Vintage went ahead and then there were six.
Six little Drafters went into overdrive; Thing 1 caught Vintage and then there were five.
Five little Drafters wanting to push the ride more; Booker J broke a cable and then there were four.
Four little Drafters included Rex Z; until a hill swallowed him up and then there were three.
Three little Drafters with a rogue map didn’t know what to do; Tick Tock took a right and then there were two.
Two little Drafter girls having such fun; until Footer rode straight home to Waunakee and then there was one.

One little Drafter thought she was the last to be done; BrickO set out late to join Pipes so that none would be none.

We will make a second attempt to ride the 42 mile Spring Valley to Springfield route, which was rained out two weeks ago.

PDF map to download: Spring Valley to Springfield

Garmin Link: FH Spring Valley to Springfield via bike path

Post-ride libations will be at Longtable.  We will delay the Vintage Velo ride until the following week when we are back at the Free House.

There is one new entry for the photo competition, submitted by E$.  It may have wrangled itself into first place.

 

Looking for another fun event?  Check out this link: Lake Ripley Ride Sat July 27

Draft responsibly and enjoy a safe July 4th.

BrickO

Hey Drafters-

I think the Garmin Link to Crystal Lake in the last post may not have worked.  Try this one:

Crystal Lake Garmin Link

PDF map: Crystal 36

There is washout on Lodi-Springfield Road, on the uphill just past Highway P.  Otherwise, the route looked great when I did recon this AM.  Enjoy the great warm weather and cold beer at Free House.  I will be there in spirit, but will miss the ride tonight.

We will shoot for Vintage Velo night next week.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO