The Memorial Day ride might have been a bust, but I trust all of you got out on Saturday and Sunday to enjoy the glorious weather, be it on two wheels or otherwise. I have evidence that Skipper did just that in his new Drafter kit. Speaking of which- if you placed a recent Hincapie order, shipping date is July 8th. Skipper is in the lead for the photo competition (by default, since I have no other entries). Remember to submit your photos throughout the season to be considered for the end of the year awards ceremony. There are no criteria other than Drafter apparel must be in the photograph, hopefully with you wearing it.
I can’t let Skipper go uncontested.
BrickO and the Bear
Not to wish away summer now that it has finally arrived, but here are a few links to fall rides:
A huge shout out to former Drafter, Ivy League, for her recent Podcast, Humbled. This series interviews retired elite athletes to discuss their transition back to “normal life”. The first episode interviews cycling legend, Levi Leipheimer. Current Drafter and retired rower, Pipes, will be the interviewee in July. I’m not sure she’s the epitome of “normal” before or after achieving elite status, but you listen to the series and decide for yourself.
The route for Monday June 3 will humble us. We will be heading north to the Roxbury Tavern for a 42 mile adventure. For those who like to know what lies ahead, there are serious climbs on Dunlap Hollow and Katzenbuchel. For a shorter 25 mile option, just skip the northern loop (and Dunlap Hollow & Katzenbuchel).
Indian Trail has been repaved at the east end, but becomes pretty pitted as you near K. Use caution on the turns.
There are 3 rumble in the jungle strips as you approach Hwy 12. If there is no oncoming traffic, I suggest avoiding them to keep your fillings in tact, or make sure your dental insurance is paid up.
We cross Highway 12. Gulp. There is a safe space between the lanes of traffic to hang out in the middle. Please cross safely.
There is NO ROAD SIGN for Kipley. It is the first (I think?) left on KP after 12.
As we climb Schuman towards Otto Kerl, there is an area of gravel washout from a driveway on the opposite side of the road, with some extending into our lane. Luckily, we are climbing so high speeds will not be an issue.
We will descend upon Longtable for post Roxbury Tavern libations.
I have run into a few hindrances for the proposed ride on Memorial Day:
Our route home from the Rock via Crystal and Fish Lake is closed.
Longtable and Free House are closed and therefore motivation to ride compromised.
The weather forecast is not pleasant (see motivational issue above in point 2).
Therefore, I think it is in our best interests to ride independently if and when there is a window. Happy Memorial Day! I will post the route for the following Monday at some point next week.
So this is what the morning after going to Church feels like? Or maybe it was the combination of 2171 feet of climb (Garmins varied, but unanimously agree over 2000′) in 38.3 miles and the 11% Evil Twin beer I selected to re-hyrdrate? Misery loves company, and we had a 2019 record attendance of 20 Drafters going to Church. Our all time high (Drafters, not elevation) was the final ride in Sept 2019, so we are on track to surpass that number.
Duchess, Sandlot, Pres, Pit Stop, C-Monster, Pipes, Footer, Knievel, Han Solo, Vintage, Thing 1, Z Rex, Tick Tock, Speedy, Booker J, Cannibal, Bomber, TCB (Slow Cow is slowly arriving)
We managed to depart on time, despite our Newbie needing a Pit Stop before the ride began. Slow Meandering Cow gave us the go ahead to leave him behind. “I do my own thing anyway”, he sighed. Slow Cow blew a spoke on his way to Church. A sign? His wife thinks so, as she found the receipt for his most recent trip to Cronometro. Having a clandestine affair with one’s bike is tricky business.
Evel Knievel was raring to ride. With is most recent hematoma healed, he was eyeing up Tobacco City Boy’s new redneck truck to jump over. Sandlot led the Draft out Airport Rd until being foiled by a red light. She doesn’t ofter much Draft protection size wise, but her competitiveness is nothing to mess with. Just ask her about husband Duchess’ claim to have “caught up” at the rest stop of their last event. Waiting for and being caught up to are sort of the same, unless you are competitive.
Cannibal wasted no time expending energy and broke out the Clif Shots 27 minutes into the ride. When you have your power to mass ratio dialed in like Cannibal, you don’t want to run low on fuel. We picked up a stray on KP, a kickass commuter named Jason, who was on his way home to Mount Horeb. Cannibal was eyeing up his saddle bags for food. I’m not sure which is more humbling- a commuter with saddle bags or Bomber on his gravel bike with 38mm white tires as they scream past. B2 Bomber ages up this week and I doubt it will slow him down. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOMBER.
Knievel and Pit Stop opted to skip Church, riding the shorter No Brains All Brawn route. I got a text from Knievel asking what was taking so long- he was on his second beer and unsure if he could hold out long enough to see us return to the Free House. Han Solo had been riding with these two renegades, but felt compelled to go to Church. Half way there, he confessed he had made a bad choice. That climb is not for the faint of heart. He wasn’t the only one complaining. The power couple, Vintage and Thing 1, were vying for best excuses as we approached the final climb on Airport Road. “My bars are so sticky”, proclaimed Vintage to which Thing 1 countered, “My seat is too low- I keep slipping off”. I generously offered a solution, which was to put Vintage’s bar tape on his wife’s seat. Marriage counseling could be my next gig.
Speaking of marriage counseling, I might need a referral as I left Z Rex behind to deal with 2 flat tires. “For better or worse, unless it is a flat tire, and then I’m out”. I didn’t leave him alone intentionally…. and he wasn’t alone. I got a lovely text from Speedy letting me know that 6 Drafters were helping him change not one, but two flat tires. We have our first FLAT TIRE CLUB contestant. Bomber was the reigning champion in 2017, and Skipper went home with the trophy in 2018.
TCB and C-Monster look on as Z Rex is initiated into the Flat Tire Club. He has the lead with 2 flats!Footer, Pipes and Speedy rush to lend Z aid. Due to poor quality of the photo, it is difficult to see appreciate the Pipes’ positive snot sign.Pipes is helping in her own way- keeping an eye on traffic as a Drafter finds relief in a field.
Mechanical failures were not limited to flat tires. My new bargain barrel Pearl Izumi 3/4 tights left much to be desired, especially for those Drafting directly behind me. Apparently, the 3/4 referred not only to leg length. Good thing I had a jersey with a little extra length to bridge the gap. I was catching a Draft, but not the kind we boast of. In the upper wardrobe failures, Speedy’s arm warmers functioned like wrist warmers. I guess she could donate them to Pipes or Arms? C-Monster had a mismatched pair of gloves, with one cycling and one XC skiing. Functional, but not pretty. Which reminds me to remind you, if you want to look pretty, Drafter gear is available.
The Free House was our sanctuary after going to Church. Speedy didn’t have a free hand to drink, as she was preoccupied massaging her cramping thighs and walking around like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Pipes was euphoric (suffering is her spiritual release) and regaled stories of her positive snot sign. TCB was simply catatonic. Maybe it was the stress of envisioning Knievel jumping over his new truck, but I think it was the 2000+ feet of climb.
Nobody was suffering enough to pass up the opportunity to ride 50 miles next week. Bare Footer said her commitment is weather dependent- if the sun is shining and the wind isn’t blowing, she’ll be bare footin’. Pipes and Speedy, in their respective states of dehydration and cramping, misheard her say “If it’s nice, I’ll be getting laid.” Oh my.
Pending weather, we will ride at 2PM for the Rock of Gibraltar. Stay tuned for a time change if the AM looks better for riding than the PM. The Free House is closed, so we will have refreshments at Longtable or skip group therapy, based on interest. If you have a Vintage Drafter jersey from Voler, this Memorial Day ride is the one to sport it.
Lyrics by CCR Just about a year ago I set out on the road Seekin' my fame and fortune Lookin' for a pot of gold Thing got bad things got worse I guess you will know the tune Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again Slightly modified to suit the Draft Just about a night ago I set out on the road Seekin' my ride and good beer Lookin' out for those potholes Thing got good things got great I guess you will know the tune Oh Lord, rode to Lodi again
The Lodi ride brought back lots of old timers and some new fashions. Cannibal showed up with new garish sunglasses so large the rest of him looked dainty in comparison. Pres elected to join the fashion show, looking dapper in his Drafter green leggings. Skipper finally retreated from the woods, where he has been playing with his new Yeti, back on the road decked out in the new Hincapie Drafter kit. A bonus feature of this year’s kit is the calf slimming feature. I barely recognized Skipper as I drafted behind his nearly invisible calves, the same ones that offered protection form the wind only a few weeks back. I thought I had specified “butt slimming” feature, but according to my mirror, that didn’t manifest. Actually, my kankles aren’t any slimmer either. This feature must only be available in men’s kits. Arms finally took a break from celebrating the NCAA Championship to Draft. Are you kidding? Yes, I’m kidding. Before the trophy started collecting dust, she has been busy drafting the UW hockey team for next year. Despite few bike miles and a new baby, Coach Arms rocked (no surprise there). Thing 1 joined her hubby, Vintage, and easily claimed the power couple title, formerly held by Mega and KiloWatt. This is my shameless attempt to summon Team Watt back to Draft.
Captain, Pres, Tick Tock, Cannibal, Klutch, Speedy, Skipper, Sandlot, Booker J, Arms, Thing 1, Pipes, C-Monster, Vintage, Billy Bob (TCB and Duchess are primping while Drone Master is already on the road).We definitely needed a LONGTABLE to accommodate 18 thirsty Drafters
If you are interested in the calf slimming 2019 Hincapie Drafter kit (feature available only in mens), you can order here through May 26:Hincapie Drafter Store
The ride for next week is one of my favorites. I do recognize that I make this claim of favoritism nearly every week. It isn’t my fault that we live in epic cycling territory. I simply cannot choose a single favorite. Vermont Church is a challenging 40 mile route. The cut off at Braun is the 30 mile No Brains all Brawn ride we did earlier in the season. Post-ride rehydration will commence at the Free House.
Lyrics by Hozier Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life
Drafter Version, with apologies to Hozier Take me to church I’ll climb Vermont like a dog and tear up my thighs I’ll tell you my watts cause Barlow cuts like a knife Offer me that drafter deal Good God, let me draft you for life
“Persons riding bicycles upon a roadway may ride 2 abreast if such operation does not impede the normal and reasonable movement of traffic.” We have the right to ride side by side, so long as traffic can freely pass. That said, it doesn’t pay to be right if you aren’t alive to enjoy it. Please call out “car back” and do your best to get into a single file line. Please stay in a “tight” side by side formation, not veering near the center line. Point out potholes.
Pheasant Branch Road is more potholes than pavement, and is our main artery out of town. My feeling is that riding close to the shoulder on the descent between the Conservancy parking lots to allow a car to pass is a death wish. That stretch reminds me of how I descend a black diamond in CO….. I need ALL the available real-estate to be safe. This isn’t the Tour de France- we aren’t in a paceline holding our line at all costs. There simply isn’t enough solid pavement to allow a car to pass with 3 feet of clearance (see rules above). As such, I tend to ride mid-lane and give myself plenty of room behind the rider in front of me. In short, follow the rules and practice good cycling etiquette and above all, use common sense.
The Cocktail Ride brought a 2019 record high attendance of 16 Drafters, including 4 Newbies.
Footer, Bermuda, Z Rex, Sandlot, Duchess, Knevel, Billy Bob, Booker J, Tick Tock, Captain Joe, Vintage, C-Monster, Han Solo, Klutch, Bomber
So many Newbie tales to tell. Vintage (husband of Thing 1, who briefly enlisted in the 2016 Draft) stood out right from the start. His old school drop shifters gave the appearance of a guy who wasn’t up to speed. Appearances (or in this case disappearances) can be deceiving. Vintage disappeared from the middle of the pack and continued to “stand out” front for us to Draft.
Don’t be deceived by vintage shifters- this guy doesn’t ride like he’s from the old school.
The only thing more visibly out of place than vintage shifters was the bulge in Knievel’s shorts. The bulge was coming laterally from his hip- don’t think this blog has gone naughty. This Newbie has a penchant for connecting with the pavement. Nothing says “I’m a cyclist” more clearly than road rash, and in Evel Knievel’s case, a greater trochanter the size of an orange. Knievel’s hip fruit garnished our Cocktail Ride beautifully.
Not that the Draft promotes the competitive spirit … but you can’t squelch the natural desire to suffer. Like beer, more is better, within the loose framework of moderation. With that, Han Solo went out hard and suffered with the best of them, namely Bomber. On a mission to make his daughter’s band concert at 7PM , Bomber was motivated to push the pace (on his gravel bike). Being a smart young man (I know this first hand, as he was one of my former students), and confident in his Drafter manlinesss, when Han came to the fork in the road, he took the one less long. Han headed solo down the bike path, and the force was with him.
I waited for our final Newbie at said fork. And waited. And waited. Who knew there was an equivalent to the Bermuda Triangle right here in Dane County? It apparently swallowed him up and spit him back out at the Free House as though he’d just come from a beach vacation- relaxed in flip flops, cool white sunglasses with cocktail in hand. Bermuda really embodied the Cocktail Ride. Meanwhile, Klutch (as in the German term Klatch, describing his indefatigable capacity for conversation modified to a more suitable English spelling) was gracious enough to backtrack with me in search of Bermuda. I now have verification that Klutch is 1) a nice guy, 2) can talk at the same rate at any aerobic intensity and 3) that I cannot. All is well that ends well, and our night ended with wonderful celebrations of Coach Arms and the Women’s Badger Hockey Team National Title and birthdays (Nurse Sully and Pipes).
Way to go, Mom. Way to go, Coach Arms.
Sandlot, Duchess and Klutch at the Kool Kids Table
A few announcements:
Hincapie Drafter 2019 kits on on their way. If you won’t be home Friday to sign for your package, please go to the FedEx website to manage your delivery.
If you did not order new Drafter gear and would like to, let me know. If there are at least 10 pieces (shorts, bibs, jerseys, jackets, vests, etc) I will open up the store.
If you ride, please be sure I have your cell phone number and you have mine. While I am not liable for your safety, I won’t sleep well if I think you’ve been swallowed up in the Bermuda Triangle. May no Drafter be left behind. I strongly encourage riding with a buddy whenever possible. And please text me if you do a U-turn so that I know you are safe.
We will be imbibing at Longtable after the Lodi ride on May 13.
Two more ride opportunities that are really fun, and unfortunately fall on the same date, Sept 28. Registration for both will be opening soon.
Our next Draft will find us stuck in Lodi again. There are shorter options, including 25 and 35 mile routes. The full route is 40 miles, pending being swallowed by the Bermuda Triangle.
When I advised showing up with more Brawn than Brains for the ride, B2 Bomber and von Diesel took me seriously. They met up for a pre-ride 12 mile “warmup” (no doubt with VO2 max intervals), finishing just in time to lead out a dozen Drafters. Side note: they did not take Mother Nature serioulsy last week, choosing the old school method of sniffing the wind for rain instead of relying on modern radar. Mother Nature rewarded them with a shower, but luckily not a jolt of electricity. Too Hip did an extended warm up as well, biking to work at 5AM in the rain, and then biking from work out to Cross Plaines as he missed us at the start. He blew by the Draft on Timber donning a seemingly heavy backpack. Drafter officials were suspicious and confiscated said backpack. While body mass to power ratio was not hindered by the pack (all show, no go), it did not contain EPO or other performance enhancing drugs. Too Hip is too awesome.
Footer, Z Rex, Captain, C-Monster, Tick Tock, Duchess, Sandlot, Klatch, Pipes, Booker J. Bomber and von Diesel are warming up and Too Hip TBA on Timber.
We welcomed our first Kiwi to the Draft. It is too early to tell if he can hold his own on a bike, but there is no doubt he can hold his own in a conversation. The Kiwi met C-Monster and Footer while out riding Wednesday night, and chatted them up long enough to learn about the Draft. This Kiwi can Klatch. Pipes, brandishing her new Scott bike, was intrigued by his discussion of grinding cat food with mortar and pestle, but could offer nothing in return as no oxygen molecules could be sacrificed for the sake of coffee klatching.
We changed up our beer drinking venue a bit, and were delighted with the selection at Longtable. Bomber didn’t get the pre-ride memo regarding venue change- one of the perils of “warming up”. First off the bike, and the last to the table. I’m not sure how long he sat at the Free House, or how many beers he had alone, but he did finally join the Draft across the street. There is something for everybody at Longtable. Pipes, BrickO and Footer went to the dark side while C-Monster kept it light. Pipes spilled $4 worth of her ClusterFudge. She can hold onto an oar long enough to win two Olympic metals but not a damn beer????? Clearly, more training is required. I’m just the coach she’s looking for.
Take sides. Do not mix.
Happy Birthdays to Nurse Sully and Pipes this week! I’m happy for company in the half century club. Sully has been a “long time” card holder and paved the way for us into the club. With those celebrations in mind, let’s ride the Tom Collins cocktail route. This is a moderate 30 mile route with a shorter 25 mile option that can be achieved by taking the bike path home.
A reminder that University Ave is under construction between Park St and Parmenter, so allow extra time to detour to the start.
Looking for an event? The Wisconsin Gran Fondo series is under new management, but SAME ownership. Enough said, for those who rode these 3 events last year without much in the way of food or water. This Driftless area event just popped up on my radar and we are giving it a go. We would love your Drafter company.
brickosdrafters 
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