Despite my competitive nature, I don’t think picking a fight with Mother Nature is in our best interest, especially on Earth Day. The deck is stacked in her favor. While the forecast on my iPhone looks hopeful for a ride,
Just Do It.
Z Rex’s avionics intel is telling me otherwise:
Don’t Even Try It
Based on the latter, it appears red (bad) is going to hit hard around 6PM. I thought about meeting at 5:30 and doing a short loop, staying closer to home base should the skies let loose. But that makes me look desperate, and I’m not wanting Mother Nature to have that impression of me, especially on Earth Day.
I will see you next week for a Mulligan on the No Brains and All Brawn route.
Welcome Newbies! 4 Newbies rounded out our group to 14 Drafters who were, in the words of the famous Bob Dylan, blowing in the wind. The day was gorgeous until 5:30PM, when the sun dipped behind the clouds and the wind began to howl. And so it goes.
Captain, Footer, Cookie Monster (or at least her pink vest), von Diesel, Sandlot, Hit-the-Wall and PipesPixie and Half-Pipe still friendly with Booker J.
Bomber and Captain had some fuel to light their cycling fire as Newbie von Diesel joined the front line. He is used to chasing down Bomber on skis, and two wheels gives him another opportunity. Booker J brought two friends- well, I’m not sure they are friends as Booker J didn’t exactly convey the topography of the route. One said Newbie climbed half-way up Enchanted Valley and turned around. Welcome to the Draft, Half Pipe! 13% is a steep debut. Booker J’s other “friend” showed up on a single speed. I give the man credit- he never quit, although I could hear his heart beating from several hundred yards away.
The wind was relentless, which made conversing a challenge. I thought I heard Footer say, “The Pixie is bringing up the rear” when in fact she said, “The Fixie is bringing up the rear.” That Footer doesn’t differentiate a single speed from a fixed gear is a topic for another day- for now, I am content with his new Drafter handle. Welcome to the Draft, Pixie!
Last (literally) but not least (far from it), our very own Drafter yoga Master, Pipes, made her inaugural Draft. To note, she was last only because Caboose is off honeymooning in Jamaica. Congrats to the happy couple! I am quite sure that if rode UBEs (upper bike ergometers) instead of using our legs to pedal, Pipes would put all to shame. Climbing up Enchanted Valley, I glanced back and caught her in full Vrschikasana pose, pedaling with her arms and steering with her legs.
Vrschikasana Pose- Preferred pedaling technique for Olympic Rower turned Drafter
The only silver lining to the ferocious wind was that is was mostly blowing at a cross. We were fanned out like geese to reduce the wind. Captain Joe was behind Skipper‘s right calf and I was flanking his left. I’m not sure I’ve ever noticed the shear mass of his gastrocnemii- they provided at least 50W of savings, each. Maybe my kankles could offer similar Draft protection? Dr. Wampus (who promises to Draft soon) has diagnosed me with an accessory soles, so I don’t REALLY have kankles. It just looks like I do.
The ride for Monday April 22 will require more Brawn than Brains. We will venture west towards Cross Plains. The construction through town has been completed, so there will be no need for Dan-yelly to repeat her off road adventure through the yards of these fine townspeople. There are a few respectable climbs up Braun and Old Sauk Pass, but I don’t think you will need a dinner plate- yet.
The inaugural Draft was a bit drafty. Thanks to gale force winds out of the south-southwest, 14 Drafters felt like rockstars leaving the corral and heading north. BrickO and Z Rex were sure to take turns pulling early (read: while tail winds were strong), leaving the Highway Men to do the dirty work on the way home. Too Hip and Tick Tock definitely earned their cold draft at the Free House, pulling us through the wind tunnel. These Highway Men did not miss a day commuting throughout the winter months (need I remind you of the snow fall and sub-zero temperatures in Feb?) and it showed in their quadriceps strength and mitochondrial density. All I have to show for my “winter training”, which consisted of a serious Netflix regime and sampling of dark and mysterious microbrews, is a few more adipocytes. Time to taper, I think…
Too Hip, Duchess (Whamo no more), Tick Tock, Loose Screw, Speedy, Slinger, Footer, Duracell, Sandlot and Tough Girl (not pictured: Z Rex, Skipper and Drone Master)
The route was pretty straightforward, or so I thought. Tough Girl ignored the GPS coordinates and posted map, ending up in Waunakee. What is that saying about the road less traveled (by someone wearing his wife’s bike shorts- or is that a different literary work)? When accused of getting lost, Tough Girl retorted, “I wasn’t lost. I live in Waunakee and knew exactly where I was. I just didn’t know the bike route.”
Despite nothing but sunshine (and wind) in the forecast, we rode hard to escape the looming black rain clouds that appeared approximately 2 miles into the ride. Tick Tock muttered under his breath as we rode into town, “We couldn’t get out from under it the entire ride”, to which I jubilantly responded, “Yeah, but we never got wet”. Famous last words. Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. It wasn’t so much the volume of water that fell as it was the tenacity with which the drops struck (Z Rex counted 12, confirmed by the divots on Sandlot’s helmet).
Drone Master is currently running unopposed for “best dressed” Drafter. He looked stunning in his green kit, but I’m talking about the post-ride wardrobe. This guy is brilliant- not only does he cut the ride short by stopping at his house on the way into town, but he showers, shaves, puts on cologne and looks fresh as a daisy for dinner at the Free House. Table for One, please.
A few riders represented the Draft from east to west in the south. From Sanibel (Tobacco City Boy and Billy Bob) to Arizona (Nurse Sully), green was seen (or making a scene, probably both). From far reaching corners of the county, we were represented earlier in the day (some folks just can’t wait to get in their miles) from Fitchburg (CM and Vilks) to Middleton (Captain Joe). I appreciate flying the colors even when you can’t join us. Mysteriously absent was Bomber. His teammate, Slinger, confessed that Bomber might need some alone time after pulling him (literally, with a rope) mid-Adventure race due to a pedal mechanical failure on Saturday. Rumor has it that Bomber also rode the Railroad Roubaix route on Sunday (in the rain, as you may recall), just because Saturday didn’t kill him.
Cookie Monster conquers Fitchburg
TCB and Billy Bob did not have gale force winds or elevation changes in Sanibel
The route for next week, April 15th, will head west to Disenchanted Valley to test your quadriceps strength and mitochondrial density. We won’t attempt the full Spring Valley loop quite yet as we need to leave something hillacious to look forward to when the days grow warmer and longer. For now, we will take the short cut on Pine Rd (~27miles). There are a few nasty pot holes on Enchanted Valley before the Autumn Pond subdivision. WATCH THE GRAVEL at the bottom of Schuman Rd and Spring Valley. KP is more pot hole than asphalt. Imagine yourself as Peter Sagan bunny hopping his way to victory on the cobbles of Paris-Roubiax. Other than that, it is delightful.
One more thought to share: as we drafter out Pheasant Branch Road on Monday, I was struck by the number of beer cans (I counted over a dozen can of Fosters- who drinks that??) and countless other pieces of garbage. It makes me sad, as I do think we owe our planet a bit more respect. So, I’m thinking maybe we can give back a little to the earth that allows us the opportunity to ride around on it. I have put in an application for “Adopt-A-Highway” on behalf of the Drafters, specially requesting that stretch of road. Should we be selected, the commitment is 3 clean-ups between April and November. I’m happy for any and all help, should we be selected. Beer will be provided for all who participate. And it won’t be Fosters or Duchess.
The forecast looks promising for our 2019 inaugural Draft, at least for today. Snow tomorrow, so let’s make the most of this window of opportunity to Draft. We will start with a short 25 mile loop due north taking the Hyer Rd cut off at P. Watch for gravel at Pheasant Branch and Meffert Rd.
Wheels up 5:30 sharp from the parking lot on Parmenter. As you may recall from seasons past, the Draft waits for no one at the start, and everyone during the ride. If you are running late, consider parking at the Pheasant Branch Conservancy and joining the pack on the fly.
Bring a blinky light, helmet (duh), and tools to repair a flat. Bomber has had two already, a healthy start to reclaiming his championship title from Skipper. Vilks is making a strong attempt at the title as well. Skipper, on the other hand, seems more interested in creating a new championship bracket for most stitches. I will order more trophies.
So much rubber wasted on so little of a ride.Send it….Stitch it!
Drinking and other debauchery will commence after the Draft at the Free House. Amy will once again take care of us. Please tip her well.
Due to high winds and low interest, we will delay the start of the drafting season. Don’t be afraid to get dirty in the meantime. It’s a perfect day for that.
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