I took a week of vacation with the intention of heading to the Blue Ridge mountains with my bike, some cold beer and my man (priorites not necessarily in that order).  The forecast was grim, threatening unrelenting rain, which I optimistically ignored.  I mean, really?  Our cycling trip to SC back in March was rained out and statistically speaking, the odds of this happening twice in one season were slim.   Calculating odds (incorrectly) is one of several (many) reasons why I suck at and avoid poker.  We drove 2 miles towards the airport before deciding to abort the mission.  It’s as though we were playing chicken with Mother Nature, seeing who would back down first.  You got to know when to hold em’, when to fold em’.  I threw in the towel, waived the flag, took a knee, conceded to her superior power and hatched Plan B for Bike.

We tossed the bikes into the Jeep, added more ice to the beer cooler, and set a course to northern WI. Best dam Plan B ever.  The loons were yodeling (listen below as papa loon has something to say to an unwelcome male who moves in on momma loon), turtles turtling, spring peepers hoping not to still be peeping by morning, fish biting on my flies, flies biting on me, pileated woodpecker pecking, hummingbirds magically hovering… I could go on but this is starting to sound like a Grizzly Adams version of the 12 Days of Christmas.

Biking in Shawano County is probably not on your bucket list, but I would argue that it shouldn’t be dismissed.  We enjoyed ZERO road rage.  In fact, every single vehicle including pickup trucks gave us the required 3 feet of clearance plus some.  It was like being queen for a day, and the only one around for miles in spandex.  It’s easy to look good without any competition.  We rode through the town of Pella (not the home of window and doors) and found a bar called Hopper’s.  My Cousin, Taylor, had the nickname Hopper so I knew good things were to come.  Dam right.

Mother Nature decided to heat things up this Memorial Day weekend.  The cabin has lots of amenities, like running water and electricity, but AC is not among them.  Alas, we headed home to spend the remainder of our cycling vacation turned staycation. Once I got over the fact that I was burning vacation time to reside in Dane County, I had the best dam vacation. Our 70-mile ride on Saturday targeted Hyde Store in Iowa County as our refueling station.  A scenic detour (Garmin communication was at an all-time low) led us to Hyde’s Mill at a dam built in 1850.

Lesson: we need not travel far or spend much money to enjoy premier cycling.  And, we don’t have to be on vacation to enjoy cycling.  Here are two very different post-ride photos, one on vacation and the other taking a break from writing a dissertation.  Any way you look at it, a sweaty Drafter jersey is a damn good thing.

With that endorsement, here is an opportunity for a cycling event in September that I would highly recommend for the post-ride party.  The beer is dark, cold and plentiful.

Tyranena Oktoberfest Registration Link

This coming Monday, with Mother Nature’s permission, we will once again try to ride the Taverns, Churches and Ball Diamonds route (formerly known as Tom Collins).  Short Pour route cuts back at Kick-A-Boo. Drone Master Christopher will be at several key locations, so look sharp and not out of breath at the following check points:

• Highest peak on Church Rd
• Along Kick-A-Boo
• Near Indian Lake turning onto Matz
• Along Rauls Rd

PDF download: Tom Collins 30 25

Garmin link: Taverns, Churches and Ball Diamonds

Please come celebrate with Coach Arms and Legs as they begin the June count down for whoever is currently occupying the middle.  And, it’s the last opportunity for a singles ride with Cookie Monster and E Money before they say “I do”.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Dang.  I was really hoping to demo my bike handling skills on the hairpin Whippoorwill descent down to Indian Lake.  What skills, you ask?  The ones whereby my white knuckles have a death grip on my handlebars, shoulders tucked up into the base of my cranium, eyes half shut and mouth wide open yelling, “HOLY SH****T”.  I have skills.  I have been monitoring 3 radar sites since noon, figuring I’d go with the most promising.  While the rain is likely to cease by Drafter time, the mist will make shooting our Drone Video less than crisp (which might not be all bad in light of said skill set) and the roads a bit slick.

It is with great heaviness of heart that I cancel tonight’s ride, nearly as heavy as Coach Arm’s belly is with baby.  The next time we convene, on June 4, she will be T minus 2 weeks from her due date.  I guess if the baby comes before we have time to properly send her off to the labor and delivery suite, we will celebrate WITH baby!  Based on photos taken by the same Paparazzi who covered the Royal Wedding, it appears Arms has much work to do in learning to spoon feed her baby, and coaching her team in the art of Nuk passing.

We will not be riding on Memorial Day, but will reconvene on June 4 for our Taverns, Churches and Ball Diamonds route.  Prime time spots for Drone coverage will be given to those in Drafter gear, or willing to pull.  In the latter case, attire makes no difference.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

My apologies for the last minute “game on” post last Monday.  The forecast was nearly 100% inaccurate, starting with the cloudy icon for the afternoon, which mocked me as I looked at it on my iPhone during the deluge .  Technically, since it was predicting an 80% chance of rain at 6PM, but delivered one single drop, I guess the percentage of inaccuracy was only 79. Regardless, I was happy for the 6 pack who showed up to ride.  Truth be told, we bailed on the steepest climbs on Bittney and Buethin, but also redeemed our drafterhood by resisting the temptation to cruise home on the bike path.

This ride capitalizes on some of Wisconsin’s most established establishments.  We will enjoy two rural towns, Ashton and Martinsville, complete with a home talent ball diamond, church and bar at their center.  It is nothing short of glorious- a little something for everybody.

This Monday, May 21, Drone Master will be shooting live footage of the Draft, so be sure to look your Sunday best.  For those who own one jersey, be sure it’s pressed, Hit-the-Wall.  We did a drone video a few years ago and it was really fun. It would work best if we stayed in a pack at the key locations, which I will reveal just before wheels up at 5:30.  It isn’t being kept top secret to throw photo bomb seeking cyclists off our scent, but rather I am currently unsure of the best sites for Drone Master to operate from.

The short pour has two options.  It is roughly 25miles if you cut across Hwy 12 from Collins Ridge Rd and take the bike path home, instead of continuing across on Rauls.  A much shorter route would be to take a RIGHT turn on Kickaboo, cut across Hwy 12 and take the bike path home (highlighted in yellow).

PDF to download: Tom Collins 30 25

Garmin link: Tom Collins Garmin link

Rumor has it that the Italian Job, Colin O’ from Cronometro, may be joining us, along with Coach Arms, who is due in June.  We seem to be experiencing exponential growth in our U3 cyclists.  Let’s see if Crono’s bike fitter extraordinaire can help set up the next generation of Drafters.

Reminder that there is no ride on Memorial Day.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Mother Nature has been toying with us today, but I have it on good authority from aviators Captain Joe and Z Rex that the skis will be clear to ride.

Personally, my legs are toast thanks to a Mother’s Day gift which included time to sneak in a 70mile ride to Blue Mounds State Park.  Barlow, Blue Mounds Trail, Zwettler and Pinnacle were all eager to show me who was boss.  With that, I am planning a shorter route, maybe just to Dane or perhaps the cut off on Lee (see former map).  For anyone wanting to ride the full route, have at it! For anyone wanting to follow the slow train, find me at 5:30.

Here’s a little inspiration from K2 from her weekend Draft.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

Oh, what a ride.  21 Drafters, including 4 newbies, took a tour out west on a gorgeous evening. I would introduce all 4, but Dave W rode like Houdini (which is now his Drafter handle) and disappeared into the night.  I do hope to see Houdini again.  Lorin “Sweet 16” joined our over 60 cohort.  I met his wife a few weeks ago at Cronometro, during Colin’s climbing clinic.  A delightful woman, she made no excuses for her husband, “He might be 60+ but he acts like he’s 16.”  Welcome to the Draft, Sweet. Dan-yelly brought a buddy, and when I asked her his name she said, “I don’t know.  It’s an orange box.”  I suspect Dan-yelly thought I was asking what kind of vehicle her friend, Alp, was driving.  He will from this Draft forward be known as orange box, O.B./Obie for short. May the force be with you. And not last nor least, Tracy Q, who has for years proclaimed herself a slow but steady rider.  Similar to Zeno’s paradox of the Tortoise and Achilles (Greek version of the Tortoise and the Hare), she’s never last.  And henceforth, we will look forward to Zeno kicking butt and taking names.

In my comfortable drafting position behind the boys who led us out west, one of my favorite songs as a kid was John Denver’s “Country Roads” rolled around in my head.  As we speed along at an average of 18.5mph, including a max downhill speed of 50mph (as reported by Loose Screw who was choosing to exhibit No Brains and All Brawn, making up time lost climbing Braun to our tireless leaders), the lyrics morphed into this rendition:

Almost heaven, West Wisconsin
Union Valley, Braun, Timber and Stagecoach
Life is old there, older than my knees,
Young guys on Colnagos, blowing like a breeze
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Wisconsin
Mountain mamma, take me home
Country roads

All the fast guys, gather round them
Modest Drafters, Bomber, Tick Tock, Too Hip
Dark and creamy, on tap at Free House
Malty taste of Porter, teardrop in my eye
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West Wisconsin
Mountain mamma, take me home
Country roads

B2 Bomber, Too Hip and the Human Metronome set a relentless pace.  It should be noted that the Human Metronome has substantionally increased his power to mass ratio since the 2017 season.  He warned the Drafter XX sector on the first night that he is “not just a playground”- he has feelings.  And his feelings Monday night were to dominate the field.  His rhythm is still unshakable, like a metronome.  But I think, given his metamorphosis into a power machine, he needs a new name.  Tick Tock.  At one point, Tick Tock blew by the pace line yelling, “HERE COMES WIGGINS!!!”.  Bomber and Too Hip were up for the challenge.  Wiggins didn’t claim KOM, and I didn’t point out to Tick Tock or Too Hip until we were back at the Free House that Bomber was riding a frickin’ cross bike with one front chain ring.  It was the 150rpm downhill that gave it away.  Man or machine?  It is hard to say.  Z Rex offered up a mechanical excuse for not keeping up.  Apparently, his “battery life” expired unexpectedly and he was stuck in the small ring coming off of Stagecoach (which, by the way, has been repaved and no longer requires a trip to the dentist to replace fillings after riding).  BrickO had a medical waiver after being exposed to the crop dusting event on Airport Road, followed by Loose Screw’s spit ball, which was a direct hit.  I wonder if wipers on sunglasses have been invented?  All was forgiven at the Free House.  There is little a good Milk Stout can’t cure.

Two 14% climbs ahead

Z Rex, Rainbow Maker and Loose Screw

Our waitress was visibly distraught by the absence of Hit-the-Wall.  It was with great anticipation that she awaited the return of his beer demands (and may have mentioned that previous ex-husbands were easier to deal with).

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 1) The ride May 21 will include video footage by the Drone Master.  Please ride in your most stunning Drafter gear.  We will be sure to let Tick Tock know that the guy seemingly driving too close behind our team is a friendly, so as to avoid a repeat of cussing him out. 2) No organized ride on May 28, as it is Memorial Day.

Next week, May 14,  we will do the ROCK OF AGES 35mile ride, holding just short of Fish and Crystal lake. The Short Pour can ride to Dane (24miles) or take the cut off on Fellows.  We DID have a short pour ride last week thanks to KiloWatt, MegaWatt and Slow Cow.  Let’s see if we can’t add a few more Drafters to the 6PM group! There is an option to take the bike path home, should somebody (Tick Tock) wine incessantly about the last climb up Woodland.

Rock of Ages PDF to download: Rock of Ages 35

GPS link: Garmin Rock of Ages

Draft responsibly,

BrickO

A southerly breeze at 28mph blew 18 Drafters, including Newbie Anne “Bolt”.  She is no relation to Usain, but rather wife of Loose Screw.  There has to be a reason that man keeps it together, and I’m sure she’s it!  The tail wind on the way out made us feel like rockstars, as did the rare incidence of B2 Bomber lagging behind, compliments of a respiratory virus.  It appeared to be a “10 mile virus”, eradicated at the Viaduct climb, as he blew by all of us, hopefully not spreading  germs in his dust.  Tobacco City Cousin made a debut- first time on his bike this spring.  Must be all that wedding planning or his new job supervising Tobacco City Boy at the Lumbar Yard that has him preoccupied.  TCC joined the Tall Team averaging 6’5″ of NBA Cliff, T-Wall and Billy Boy McC who collectively provided enough resistance to the head wind home to light up Dane County.  It was a  small moral victory for those Drafters who waited in vain for a late growth spurt- offering up a host of short and quick excuses for a slow ride home.

E$ and Too Hip were singing the medical student and resident blues.  Too Hip let it slip that he had a 6 mile spring training ride with his son, which we collectively decided provided enough fitness to pull us a good stretch home.  Cookie Monster, just finished 6 qualifying exams and a half marathon, but didn’t offer up any excuses.  You go Girl.

BrickO and Z Rex claimed “no legs” after a weekend of riding in SC.  They were victorious in claiming flat tires, making BrickO the leader on the board this season with 2.

Coach Arms and her Bambino rode remotely, bringing our Drafter number up to 20.

Hit-the-Wall offered up the earliest excuse.  Before leaving the parking lot, Hit-the-Wall was preparing his slow Draft defense by claiming to have skipped lunch.  Apparently, somebody gets a bit grumpy when he’s hungry.  The waitress handled Hit-the-Wall’s beer demand with class, serving him before taking any one else’s order.  Her only retort, “This is not my first rodeo with your type.”  Notice the empty chair at the head of the table below, a sign of his early eviction from the premises.  We did welcome two guests for the after ride party- Mrs. Billy Mc C and Big Dub, offspring of BrickO.

18 head out

Mrs. McC and Dub join us at Free House

We will travel west for the ride on Monday, a test of Brains and Brawn.  This Brawn adventure towards Cross Plains will require a climb up Braun.  BE AWARE THAT CHURCH STREET IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION at the corner of St Francis Xavier.  Follow the Detour Signs through town to cross Hwy 14, and then get back onto  P, and turn right onto Bourbon St as indicated below.  The SHORT POUR can cut off the western most loop, staying on P past Hwy 14 and turning left onto the recently repaved Stagecoach.  Dental visits will be reduced this season ass we won’t loosen up our fillings riding Stagecoach.

PDF map to download: Union Valley Brains and Brawn 30

GPS link: Brains and Braun Course

Finally, a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Nurse Sully.  May there be plenty of Spotted Cows to help you celebrate.

Draft responsibly,

BrickO